Or are some Mums turning into Bridezilla when it comes to childrens partys?

[mummyloveslucy]

It seems to me that Childrens birthday partys are getting bigger and more elaborate every year. Is it the parents trying to out do each other? I think so in some cases.
I was talking to one of the mums at my daughters school and she told me that her daughters birthday was comming up soon. She said she'd booked x entertainer. I asked if that was the same one as another party we went to, of another child in the class. She then said "Oh no, the one I'm having costs twice as much as the one she had".
Is it just me, or do some Mums turn into Bridezillas when it comes to partys?
I thought it was quite rude to say that about someone elses party, and a small child's at that.
I always thought birthdays were about the children having fun, not a war between mums.

angelene, I am in South Wales, which is why a few eyebrows have been raised as I simply cannot afford to book anywhere for everyone, a party at home for her close friends will be cheaper. If I could afford it next year I would go for something bigger but she is still only going to be 4.
The other thing to rememerb is that a lot fo people have extended family who go as well, so you are talking maybe 5 or 6 related kids along with aunts, uncles etc, so you have to hruie somewhere bigger. Luckily for me I have no fmaily here so I don't need the extra space!

sorry angelene...
to be clear I am not aiming that at you - just a general thread vibe

pag - If you have the money to do a big party, then do it, I don't think of it as 'partyzilla' when I go to a soft play/sports hall type party, more that they must have more money than I do! Nothing wrong with that!

I think whole class parties are great if you have the space/money (presuming this is primary age so young children) and the child likes big parties.

DS's first school party was at soft play and we invited the whole class, simply because DS did not want to leave anybody out and they dont establish long term friendships really at that age so played with everyone anyway.

I leave the choice of party down to DS, after all its his birthday. This year he has chosen something different. The venue includes party bags so I dont get to do them this year and thats my favourite part.

Bragging about the cost/food etc is vulgar but I dont see why people should all have the same type of party just to keep in line with others. At the end of the day its personal choice.

Actually Essence - if people raise eyebrows at a low key party then that is truly crap.

A small party is not inferior at all, much more intimate.

We bucked the trend with a "traditional" party for DS at home last time, with old-fashioned cheap games like Pin the Tail on the Donkey and sweet-hunting and Pass the Parcel and so on - they all loved it, and the next four parties he was invited to were all traditional at-home parties! Suddenly they are in vogue...

Pag - I agree with all that actually, in the party 'circuit' (and for a period in Oct/Nov it is just that, one every weekend sigh) DD is on then all the parties are all similar and this one stood out as being OTT.

I actually dread the thought of having to organise a load of party games and am far happier letting the kids get on with it with a bouncy castle and some crafty bits and pieces.

The most mind-boggling party I went to was when I was a 'mother's help' when I was 19, we were graciously invited to the most upper class family in the area, one down from royalty almost. It was in their stately home, with original Cannalettos on the wall, about 30 kids and their parents and nannies. It was a FIRST birthday! There was a portrait of the 'lady of the house' in the hallway, wearing a Hardy Amies dress, truly posh. Very uncomfortable!

My DD (5) has been invited to a few stupidly too large parties - sixty children, multiple entertainers etc. She hated them. Small children can find very large events directed by strangers very stressful.

Looking down your nose at how much someone spends on a kid's party is pathetic but I do sense a little bit of snobbery on this thread. The word traditional has echos of rising above the oiks. It's all incredibly expensive smocked party dresses, homemade work of art cakes, and paper party bags filled with wooden toys. All ends up costing as much as a soft play party or similar. Could be just my area of course which is up it's own arse.

I will continue hiring venues for my kids parties as I don't want even 6 snotty herberts rampaging around my petite home and knocking my toddler over and then one always gets the hump and cries. Maybe that's only my crap parties!

We just had a combined party (3rd) with five friends who all have a birthday within two months of each other. Each Mum spent about £50. No present rule - imagine having to buy that many! it was chaos but great fun. Lot's of mums and dad and screaming kids everywhere. Face painting the saving grace for peace and quiet. Would not repeat the experience on my own but up for a group one again next year! (if he wants it?)

'But I think there is a creeping assumption that any big party is always about showing off and i just don't believe that. It is at times a kind of inverse snobbery " oh I just care about my children in a much more pure way so I am only having three children, one ballooon and a turnip to share. Anything else is just sooooo competetive"

Pag

RollBauble, I think you may be sensing a tone that isn't there, how else would you describe an at home party with party games and cake?

Life's a competition. Best to realise that early on IMO .

I had the party conversation with an old friend of mine recently. She engages in the most wildly competitive sort of inverted snobbery about children's parties. So what? I'm sure her child and her friends enjoy themselves as she has great taste and undoubtedly does a lovely version of "traditional, small and intimate".

I love doing DCs parties. I don't think that makes me a bridezilla, it just happens to be something that I enjoy doing.

Its great with DS as he has a friend close in age and we often do a big joint party. Never booked an entertainer yet but I don't see it as a competitive thing, just a blimming good idea.

Can't believe how many people are raving about pin the tail on the donkey. Its boring! It was boring as a child, it bores children today, it bores adults too. I have seen some lovely drawings of donkeys/fairies/ben 10 waiting for a tail/wand/omnitrix to be pinned on. Loads of work goes into it and I have never seen a child actually enjoy it...

I don't understand the need to have a particular kind of party just because some other parent at school is doing one. Most of the issues over children's parties/playdates/playground staring are just people being hypersensitive and having over-active imaginations.

I'm not sure any of this is new - its just where you live & who you know. My mum has a great story about when I got invited to a 'posh' birthday party as a small child (child I met at a club - most of the other invitees were apparantly from the birthday boy's private school)

She was sitting trying to make small talk with strange parents - small boy came over & said to his mum "Oh no, not another bloody conjurer" This must have been in about 1974 . . .

Mind you, mum has been rolling out this story at every child's birthday party for the last 35 years

FWIW birthday parties around here generally involve musical bumps, lots of cake & a party bag, those who really push the boat out hire a bouncy castle (which all the kids love)

OK, DD got back last week from a party that had a conjourer.

She thoroughtly enjoyed it but told me that: "I wanted to know how he did the tricks, so after he finished I looked at his things...Mummy do you know, the bit of rope was all STIFF, no wonder he could stand it on end. And when he poured milk into his hat, well, the hat had a small tube on the side and the milk must have gone down there and then when he tipped it over

Oh I think you can get people being all competitive and partyzillaish over small parties too - totally agree about the snobbery. Hall plus entertainer takes little planning, is a good laugh for kids in class, they will enjoy it. It's a good way of inviting more than will fit into your house. What's the problem? Meanwhile you can have elaborately over-planned 'casual' parties from uber-competitive mums who turn their noses up at having an entertainer so they can smugly congratulate themselves on being so much more authentic than the parents having parties in church halls - thats definitely the trend at the moment. Just as much potential for mumzilla there I think!

Pretentious? Moi?

Riven, not sure how old your dd is but how about taking a few of her close friends to the cinema. My local cineworld has a saturday & sunday morning "juniors". Its only £1 each and although it not a new release that is shown, its usually a pretty recent one (ie, last 12mths).

My DD went here to a party and the mum gave them all sweets and a drink. Then after the film they all went next door to Frankie & Bennies and the mum ordered some platters for the DC to share. My DD loved it, and to be honest, you could get away with not taking them for anything to eat if you took some nice snacks in the pictures with you.

A woman I used to work with has just told me that she has ordered a surprise pink limo for her daughter and friends on Saturday for her 8th birthday. Yuk!!!

Rollbauble - I'm having a traditional party tomorrow for one of my DC and it includes non of the things you have mentioned. Maybe you are right - it is where you live.

And, the children are lovely, it will be noisy, hectic and chaotic but its only for 2 hours, and non of them are horrible - just nice children who will be a handful for a couple of excitable hours.

Oh, and its costing a fraction of the soft play area.