Or are some Mums turning into Bridezilla when it comes to childrens partys?

[mummyloveslucy]

It seems to me that Childrens birthday partys are getting bigger and more elaborate every year. Is it the parents trying to out do each other? I think so in some cases.
I was talking to one of the mums at my daughters school and she told me that her daughters birthday was comming up soon. She said she'd booked x entertainer. I asked if that was the same one as another party we went to, of another child in the class. She then said "Oh no, the one I'm having costs twice as much as the one she had".
Is it just me, or do some Mums turn into Bridezillas when it comes to partys?
I thought it was quite rude to say that about someone elses party, and a small child's at that.
I always thought birthdays were about the children having fun, not a war between mums.

I don't think all parents who go for big partys are Bridezillas BTW.

I'm with Pagwatch. Have not yet thrown a party but both DS (3) and DD (1) love all kinds - big and brash or small and sweet.

Competitive Mum is seen just as often throwing a small, tasteful party imo. Depends on which the children prefer, surely?

good grief MummyLoves inviting teachers is just bum licky...

and talking about how much things cost or boasting is

YANBU

I can't get over how big 1st birthday parties are . We where expected to do a 3 hour drive to go to one in a leisure centre and my 9 month old could 'play in the soft play area', as the bouncy castle would be a bit old for him , really, WTF. I've been to a 1st birthday party in a pub and have just been invited to another in a social club. I just don't get it.

Oh I know, I've been to a small birthday tea for a nursery child and the mum was letting everyone know that everything here is organic, freshly squeezed etc. I do actually like this mum though.

actually I had a really low key wedding. I could get all bridzilla-ish ( I know scottishmummy ) about DDs parties.

I could get a dress code and train some swans to stroll around and get Jedward to perform - or Beyonce, she will go anywhere apparently.
And I could get it catered, waiters dressed up like Troy!

So tell me about a "traditional party".

What happens - do they still get party bags. etc?

Ooo, Troy waiters sound good!

Lynette, I think traditional parties are all about playing good old fashioned fun traditional games (pin the tail on the donkey, pass the parcel, treasure hunt, etc etc).

As for party bags, well, it used to be a piece of birthday cake and a balloon when I was a child. So, I guess thats the tradition for me. But I prefer to give a little gift aswell (just bought lots of glittery hairbands from Asda, 50p for 2 in a pack so they will be a lovely gift for a load of 7 yr olds together with a piece of cake and a lollipop.

Thats just my opinion though. Am sure you'll get lots of different ones on here aswell.

Over here (Australia) it is very competitive.

One mum has to out do herself every year. Visiting farms (that come to the house), hiring police, bouncing castles! This year she hired a fire engine & fire officers!

It is crazy! What happened to some games & cake!

DD1's idea of a traditional party is from tv and books!
So lots of balloons, party food (cakes and biscuits and crisps and jelly) and everyone has to bring their cuddly toy for tea.
Pass the parcel, musical bumps/statues, whats the time mr wolf, sleeping lions. All at home.

I don't know who's looking forward to it more, me or her!

Perhaps it dependson whether you like parties! I hated them at 5 yrs and I'm not keen now-unless they are small.

I'm up for any event that firemen have been hired in for.

It comes back to doing what suits you as a family. Some children love big parties, some would find that too much.

Some parents like to be at the centre of things organising the games, others prefer (and can afford) to pay someone to do that for them.

Can't see why big vs small needs to become yet another thing for people to judge other parents on, each justifying why they do it their way by belittling the opposite.

The problem comes when the parent who has the big party expects their DC to go to lots of parties.As long as they don't expect to get invited back there isn't a problem.

I don't think it gets any easier as they get older. My cousin's daughter was 16 in November and they had a big aprty - whole family invited, hired a hall etc. God knows what they will do for her 18th and 21st. Dnephew is 14 in 2 months and his mum told me "can you come up and visit,it's a special birthday and we are having a party for him"

I said "14 is special now too is it then?"

Oooohhh - hiring men in uniform sounds really good.

I agree pices.
But I know I have the space,the time and inclination to invite the whole class but others won't. Also many DCs would be overwhelmed by a whole class full of children at their party and wouldn't like it.
I never ever have a problem when DD isn't invited to a smaller party and I would be horrified if anyone thought I would be.
DD also knows that she has 'big', parties because her mother is making up for a party-less childhood [has issues ] and that it is not better than anyone elses - just different - and that she is lucky that we have the space, time ete etc.

Down here (South Wales) there are two types of party - the soft play centre type and the church hall with a bouncy castle type. Halls are super-cheap to hire (£7 an hour for our local one ) so it's easier than making a mess in your house.

However there was one recently whereby the parents invited ALL THE KIDS IN THE ENTIRE NURSERY, booked out the local soft play so it was just the party, and it was so totally full on. Must have cost hundreds.

The worst thing though was that the invitations went out 7 (SEVEN) weeks in advance!

They should be called the Partyzillas . Its just a case of keeping up with the Joneses imo so sad really. My dd is 2.10 and still a little young, but i will do what my mum did for me when I was younger and just invite up to 8 of dd friends that she plays with the most and just have party games and ice cream and jelly at home or just hire out the local soft play where they can just run about and let off steam. The cost of soft play party is not that much about £8 ph min 8 kids so its cheaper than hiring a hall a kids entertainer and clearing up afterwars and doing food on top of it.

It has got a bit far imo

I started a thread yesterday callin SMIL a motherofthebridezilla

God above - inviting everyone and not leaving anyone out! And spending money on them....!
Fuckers!

Pag - I seriously don't see the point of asking kids who are not friends with/don't knock about with the birthday child. It was self-indulgence for the parents rather than actually what the child (who looked rather overwhelmed by it) wanted.

It was a 3rd birthday!

I agree withthat angelene. And if you attended then you of course have a greater sense ofthe people involved.
At three that is a load of children and probably overwhelming and unessecary.

But I think there is a creeping assumption that any big party is always about showing off and i just don't believe that. It is at times a kind of inverse snobbery " oh I just care about my children in a much more pure way so I am only having three children, one ballooon and a turnip to share. Anything else is just sooooo competetive"

The first big party we had for DD was the year after we had nearly lost her, the year after I had lost my dad and I wanted a celebration that she had survived. I wanted to have a day that she and her friends loved and that she and we would remember.
The reaction from people is always positive and the children love it.
No one knows how much I spend, I do it in my garden and the parents rarely stay.

I could do 4 friends for tea - I am sure she would enjoy that too. But why is that better or more virtuous?

I get it - I do -that there are people outthere who show off and brag. But as long as the party is about the child and her/his friends then I don't believe that is always the intention