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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that if a party starts at 7pm, you do not get there before 7?

41 replies

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 21/01/2010 11:01

I think of party start times as guidelines. If it's a dinner party I'd like my guests there within half an hour after the start time. If it's just a 'bring a bottle' sort of party, any time is fine. But there's always someone who comes a few minutes early to mine. And I'm always still putting on lipstick, if not clothes.

But I have a friend who thinks that if a party starts at 7 (say), the correct time to get there is 6.50, with 7 being the latest possible correct time.

He's wrong, right?

OP posts:
vezzie · 21/01/2010 11:03

YANBU. The inveterate earlycomers should be told a different time from everyone else, if they refuse to learn. Or made to wait outside until a certain number of other people arrive. Blowing up balloons and putting pieces of cheese and pineapple on sticks.

pooexplosions · 21/01/2010 11:08

i'm Irish, if the invite says 7, you arrive about 8.30 and you'll probably be the first. Don't do that in Belgium though, if it says 7 you must arrive at precisely that time.

Pineapplechunks · 21/01/2010 11:11

He's wrong and you're right.

upahill · 21/01/2010 11:13

Dinner parties, I'll be there bang on time. General house parties I use the time as a guide line but talk to the host to check things out. If I'm having a party I like a few close friends to be there reasonably near the time suggsted after that everyone else can please themselves what time they turn up. It's so that I don't have that feeling of OMG is anyone coming after 1o mins!

PurpleEglu · 21/01/2010 11:13

Absolutely needs to be given a different time.

I am a stickler for punctuality, but this is one of the times where being late is almost a must.

nickelbabe · 21/01/2010 11:16

i don't like being late to anything, so i always try to arrive on the dot of the time i'm given.
this means that i'm often given setting up jobs to do, but i don't mind that because i'm helpful

when i have a party, i set the time on the invitation to be half an hour before i want people to arrive, so that they will arrive at the time i want (or thereabouts). that also means that if people arrive a bit early i've got little helpers! (this is also because i can't wait and pace around for ages wondering if anyone will turn up!)

so, yanbu, you should put a later time on his invitation or give him setting up jobs to do.

cakeywakey · 21/01/2010 11:19

YADNBU. 10-15 minutes after the stated time would be the earliest I'd turn up to a general thing, because I'm also the woman who isn't ready until bang on the time I've said. You'll have to give them a later start time if they're continually doing this.

NotQuiteCockney · 21/01/2010 11:19

It probably varies from culture to culture, as pooexplosions says, tbh.

In the UK, if it's an adult party, and not dinner, then I would say 7:10 is the earliest you can show up. If it's a dinner party, you can turn up at 7, I guess, but 7:10 is still ok, any time in the first half hour.

SerenityNowAKABleh · 21/01/2010 11:21

Being early for any party is WRONG (obviously, these guidelines are UK applicable only). I have a friend who does this as well, turns up early or bang on time. But he is lacking in social skills, so I let it slide.

Dinner party - generally 10-15 minutes late, but not too late or the poor cooks timing will go completely AWOL.

BBQ - an hour late because BBQ cooking/being cooked ALWAYS starts way after the intended time. Particularly if some genius decides to cook a whole chicken, or something (brothers friend. In South Africa you have Bring and Braais, where everyone brings their own meat and a salad/dessert. A braai is a BBQ)

Other party - 2 hours late. Obviously not everyone, but this is my general rule as then you arrive when the party is VERY exciting.

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/01/2010 11:49

being too early is rude but a few mins isnt the end of the world

either make them wait till 7pm then open door or be ready 15mins before or tell early person 7.30

RocheMoutonee · 21/01/2010 11:50

i HATE people arriving on time or early for parties when i am in my panties

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 21/01/2010 11:55

Well I am never inviting you to any of my parties/dinner parties.
I would be inwardly seething if I said a time and evberyone thought it was acceptabe to turn up late.

I don't particularly mind early unless it was half hour but 5-10 mintues early is ok because that could be someone that set of giving themselves plenty of time for traffic or whatever but lateness I cannot abide my MIL is well used to being told off for being late for things at our house.

stressheaderic · 21/01/2010 11:59

Party in a Hall...invite says 7.30, I'd arrive 8.30, nowt worse than sitting there in empty hall.
Relaxed house party = about half an hour after invitation says
Dinner party = about 15 mins after invitation says.
Never, ever early! I'm usually still Hoovering/getting out of bath...

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 21/01/2010 12:03
dawntigga · 21/01/2010 12:09

YANBU - Xmas dinner was 1 for 1:30 They bloody well turned up at 11:30!!!! Through my timing right out and dinner was an hour late as a result! Turn up on time or a little late not early.

StillVeryAnnoyedByThisTigga

skybluewinking · 21/01/2010 12:27

Used to drive me MAD, my MIL used to do this. (sadly she is no longer alive)
Nothing more discombobulating when someone arrives when you are about to do your face, puts you out for the day!
I do miss her though

CommonNortherner · 21/01/2010 13:11

WTF?? If it starts at 7 then you're supposed to be there for 7, within ten mins sounds about right, but it is also acceptable to be up to half an hour "late".

What is the point of saying it starts at 7 and whining when you're not ready in time?? Is it one of those social unwritten rule things to sort out the Wrong Sort from the Right Sort??

What is the point of clocks and time if it's just a lie?!?!

verytellytubby · 21/01/2010 13:13

I'm the freak that turns up at 6.55! I've a pathological dislike of being late whereas my DH runs on his own time and if it's 7 he'll probably turn up at 8!

Threepwood · 21/01/2010 16:44

YANBU. It is a pain. But then I find deliberately turning up very late equally annoying. Nothing worse than arranging something for 7 and having everyone turn up at 8.30 because they couldn't be bothered.

juneybean · 21/01/2010 16:48

I'm an early comer, always have been, ever since my birth when I came a month early

Sassybeast · 21/01/2010 16:51

Dinner - arrive bang on what time it says on the invite. Other parties, arrive about 20 minutes after start time.

MmeLindt · 21/01/2010 16:52

For general party I would turn up anywhere between 7 and 7.30pm. For dinner party I would be there by 7.15pm.

At my German PILs, then you have to be there 15 mins early as the food is on the table at 7pm. It has been sitting in the kitchen waiting to be served since 6.45pm.

lou031205 · 21/01/2010 16:59

I think it is rude to be late. Especially for a dinner.

AngryPixie · 21/01/2010 17:13

DInner party exactly as stated on the invite. I would probably get there 10 mins early and sit in the car (putting on my own make up)

Adult informal party half an hour after start time.

AngryPixie · 21/01/2010 17:14

Also, if a written invitation I take the cue from them;

at 8pm

or

from 8pm