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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in hating hen "do's"

26 replies

GetDownYouWillFall · 20/01/2010 20:01

oh I bloody hate them.

Pole dancing, all manner of other "fun" activities have been suggested.

The latest email from bridesmaid #2 says I know I've got a brilliant idea how about "apocalyse paintball"? Errr, how about not ....I just want to scream "Noooooooooooooo!"

attention seeking silly attire, makes me

small talk with a group of people most of whom I've never met

staying over and no sleep then back home to deal with the havoc wreaked by DH and toddler (twice as much havoc as normal)

It's my SIL's so I can't even get out of it.

Help me.

OP posts:
June2009 · 20/01/2010 20:03

get into it and enjoy it, much better than having to endure it.

I hate them too btw, good luck ;)

notanumber · 20/01/2010 20:06

Whatever happened to getting trollied on wine and dancing to eighties classics whilst screaming, "SHE'S GETTING MARRIED!" at any poor bloke who passes within ten feet of you?

MissWooWoo · 20/01/2010 20:07

YANBU for hating that type of hen do. There can be other nicer ones though that don't involve getting your wangers out and wearing L plates. The best hen do I ever went to was a lovely bunch of girls in an old cottage in the country for the weekend, lots of lovely wine and food, presents and chats

anything involving a spa sounds good too

mrsboogie · 20/01/2010 20:13

YANBU. Sounds horrendous.

apocalypse paintball?? jesus.

Original poster
GetDownYouWillFall · 20/01/2010 20:22

She is quite an adventure-seeking "outdoors" type - which I am not. Our tastes are quite different.
I am desperately trying to think of an excuse but can't....

OP posts:
Bumbleconfusus · 20/01/2010 20:39

I never went to my SILs hen do, I think you could just say you don't agree with it and let it be done with (ie the pole dancing etc).

MrsChemist · 20/01/2010 20:45

I had a stag do.

Cigars and ladies

MrsChemist · 20/01/2010 20:46

Am not a man btw

YeahBut · 20/01/2010 20:49

When did the hen do become so complicated? All this weekend away, spend a fortune on activities, blah, blah, blah. I had a nice meal and a few drinks(!) with some friends and it was lovely.

Botbot · 20/01/2010 20:49

The best hen do I ever went to involved arsing around at the bride's flat, going for a meal at a local restaurant, then going straight back to the bride's flat and arsing about again. It was brilliant.

Original poster
GetDownYouWillFall · 20/01/2010 20:49

Bumble - I am inclined to agree. But do you think i will seem a bit of a wimp, and not very supportive of my SIL?

MrsChemist -

OP posts:
Original poster
GetDownYouWillFall · 20/01/2010 20:51

I know!!! My hen do just consisted of a meal out with a few close friends and it was great. I can't stand the thought of this monstrosity being planned

OP posts:
JaneS · 20/01/2010 20:52

No, you're not being unreasonable darling. I hate them too. I'm not having one (euch!).

They are truly strange - whatever happened to having a nice party if you wanted one? If you feel the need to mourn your single life with scanty clothes, strippers and so on, maybe you shouldn't be getting married?!

MrsChemist · 20/01/2010 20:53

Am bi, loads of friends are lesbians; it just made more sense to have a stag do. I wore a suit and everything.

I told everyone that if I saw an L plate anywhere it would be lodged in their rectum.

Original poster
GetDownYouWillFall · 20/01/2010 20:55

and again

OP posts:
RichardGereandtheGuineaPigs · 20/01/2010 20:57

Those sort of hen parties are so common/vile/declasse (insert as appropriate).

Sten does are the new thing, stag and hen together for a civilised dinner and drinks.

fluffles · 20/01/2010 20:58

now i'd actually like paintball

but yanbu about the L-plates and pole dancing and stupid outfits and screeching (OMG the screeching!!!!!)

pissovski · 20/01/2010 21:09

went to my friends hen do in the summer. Avoided the first bit (race day - not for me, and i was out night before) but went for a fab meal and then onto pub.

The stag do was the same day. They went paintballing, then for a meal and we all met up in pub and went onto a club together.

I hate all girl nights out - just so not me. Most of my mates are blokes so i was happier when they got there (this did include my DH too)

YANBU

mamasmissionimpossible · 20/01/2010 21:27

Yanbu

My friend has planned some mega expensive weekend 'hen do', which will more than likely cost a bomb (which we can ill afford)

I feel under so much pressure to attend as we have been friends along time.

What's wrong with a nice meal out all together?

naturopath · 20/01/2010 21:33

YANBU. I didn't have one as I can't stand them either - went for a long weekend away with a girlfriend instead.

wukter · 20/01/2010 21:38

YANBU.
Hate the thought of having to have one. But I have been invited to so many over the years will probably have to have 30 people there. Gah

MuffinToptheMule · 20/01/2010 21:43

Dp and I got engaged last year and plan to get married in early 2012, possibly earlier. I asked one of my best friends to be my maid of honour and only bridesmaids. She got very excited about organising a hen do and I literally hadn't thought about it.
She's a great friend and we're pretty much on the same wave length, no strippers etc. I had a little think about who would come to my hen do and I have no idea. I have 3 separate groups of friends, none of whom would mix that greatly and I wouldn't want to just pick the girls from the groups and force then to have dreadful chit chat all night.

A weekend away in a cottage sounds like an amazing idea but I realise that it costs money and takes up people's time. None of my friends have babies though (yet) so childcare is not an issue.
A meal out doesn't seem enough.
Any ideas?

Buzzybb · 20/01/2010 22:00

Muffin for my sis we had a spa day and dinner that evening, a lot of places will do a deal if you have so many attending so it will not be to expensive I think it was £50 each and also if someone wanted they could come and get just nails done etc or else just come to the meal so was cheaper but a set amount of girls had to pay the £50 for the deal. Am being horrible and have said have exams so will be unable to attend 2 hen do's this year [cost and avoiding arguments] so am going to take the brides for a spa treatment will save a fortune and can use vouchers that I got at xmas towards it [yes am being cheap ]
OP Good Luck with the hen night hope you enjoy

MissWooWoo · 21/01/2010 13:28

Muffin how about lunch followed by a saturday matinee show (no chit chatting here!) and then drinks after ...

BambinolovesBeccie · 21/01/2010 13:35

YANBU. I got married in secret so no hen do to contend with. They are always a cheesefest.