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AIBU?

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Original poster

I know it's petty, but HOW petty?

69 replies

WastedYouth · 19/01/2010 09:56

On friday, me and DH bought ourselves a big bar of chocolate each. This was very much a one off as we're both supposed to be on diets.

So, friday night, I eat half of my chocolate. DH eats all his before declaring that he felt sick

I said it was his own fault, wrapped my chocolate up and put it in the fridge.

Next day I go to grab a square of chocolate to find that my bar has become considerably smaller I casually say to DH "did you eat some of this?" he goes bright red, pretends to know nothing about it and then says "yes, a bit fell down the back of the fridge and I didn't think you'd want that so I ate it".

I truely wasn't all that bothered so I just said "ok"

Last night, big brother was on and I like a few nibbles when that's on so I said to DH "Think I might have the rest of that chocolate ... " He goes red again.

I went to the fridge and there was only two 'lines' of it left.

This time I did get pissed off. He ate his and I can't even put a bloody bit of chocolate in the fridge without it going missing. I have to hide it just to make sure he doesn't take it. It's ridiculous. He thinks I'm being petty but he does it with everything.

He used to drink ALL the orange juice in one go so I started buying one just for myself (so I could be sure of getting some in a morning ) needless to say he drank all his and then drank mine too.

DS had a bag of turkish delights. Being sensible he ate half the bag and said he'd save the rest so not to make himself sick. Next time he went back to them, there was ONE left.

DH apologised and bought him another bag ... which he promptly ate again as soon as the coast was clear.

DS has now started hiding his sweets in his room.

We shouldn't HAVE TO!

So I know it's a bit petty, whinging over a bit of chocolate but wouldn't this piss anyone else off??

OP posts:
greenday · 19/01/2010 10:20

YANBU - very inconsiderate of him.

Ingles2 · 19/01/2010 10:23

maybe he feels he has to get in quick and eat it ferret or there'll be nothing left...
Do you do the food shopping Wasted?

AmazingBouncingFerret · 19/01/2010 10:25

Yes. Is he from a large family OP? Maybe he has just grown up having to fight siblings for all the best treats.

corriefan · 19/01/2010 10:27

Why not buy him or get him to buy his own stash of cheap crap for him to graze on so he doesn't start on yours and the kids' stuff?

Am a bit puzzled by the possessiveness of food in the house though to the extent he's blushing when he's rumbled!

Original poster
WastedYouth · 19/01/2010 10:27

No he does the food shopping.

If I bought absolutely TONS of chocolate ... he'd still eat it all.

He has had weight issues in the past and he does have a bad relationship with food (to the point where he's raided the fridge in the middle of the night before now) but it impacts on everyone else.

I'm not saying he can't help himself to what's in the cupboards/fridge but it would be nice of him to remember that the rest of the household may like to do the same thing now and again but there's never anything left!!!

And he can't use the excuse that if he doesn't grab it, someone else will because the rest of us are light eaters and ask before we take (if it belongs to someone else I mean).

OP posts:
kinnies · 19/01/2010 10:29

He needs to sort it out before your Dc get eating disorders.

GetOrfMoiLand · 19/01/2010 10:30

Just because he eats a lot does not necessarily mean that he has problems though.

My DP often makes himself something to eat whilst dinner is cooking - mind you he has a pphysical job and comes in starving so i don't mind.

DP and DD are like a plague of locusts between them, if they eat it all so it runs out midweek, well that's their lookout

HesterPrynne · 19/01/2010 10:32

My DH was the same, and can still revert back if not kept under constant surveillance .

What improved it, was getting him to make the kids' packed lunches. The fact that he had to run round to the shops to get bread, cos he'd decided to have a sandwich or two and use the last of the loaf and ham; or crisps because he had the last packet before bed; or juice cos he drank the last just because he could; or fruit ... well you get the picture.

Now he thinks about what he stuffs into his baby-bird-like open mouth, and checks it's not the last and if it is he'll ask if it's being saved, or replace it before it's noticed missing.

Ingles2 · 19/01/2010 10:33

well it sounds like you both have food issues to me.
Interesting you are both supposed to be on diets, yet you say he is 12 stone and toned. Doesn't sound like he needs to diet.

ChickensLoveMarmite · 19/01/2010 10:37

YANBU. However, in this house chocolate belongs to me. If anyone eats any of my stash without asking, I would go absolutely nuclear on their arse. Yes, I do have hormone issues.

Butterfly99 · 19/01/2010 10:38

Ingles2 - it is lostinwales with the toned husband, not the OP (or at least she hasn't said he is toned

Tortington · 19/01/2010 10:39

id stp buying it - i would just circumnavigate the issue - don't buy orange juice and thngs he likes if he is a chocolate theiving cuntbucket

Ingles2 · 19/01/2010 10:39

Whoops.. sorry

ChickensLoveMarmite · 19/01/2010 10:41
BaronessBarbaraKingstanding · 19/01/2010 10:42

In isolation I'd say you appear overly posessive of your chocolate bar, and this whole my chocolate/your chocolate thing for adults doesn't seem a healthy or normal attitude to me.

the fact that he seems to be selfishly consuming other more basic food items and food that the children have earmarked as their treats is more of a problem howver. To not consider that the family needs organe uice/bread/milk for the morning is very selfish, and to eat somethinga chils ia specifically saving is unkind.

eating your wifes chocolate in the fridge would not rally be an issue to me though.

sounds like lots of issues around possession, self control, respect, secretiveness combined with ths 'we're dieting but eating chocaolte our own chocolate and he's staeling it in secret' sounds generally unhelathy.

I wonder what he would say?

lostinwales · 19/01/2010 11:13

Yes sorry, it is my husband who is the toned huaman dustbin, it's just the OP struck a huge chord with me so I felt compelled to post excessively.

lostinwales · 19/01/2010 11:14

Or human even (maybe it's his huaman genes which keep him so slim in the face of an overwhelming calorie load)

RibenaBerry · 19/01/2010 11:23

YANBU.

I would be really annoyed. If there was chocolate in the fridge and DH ate it, fair enoug. But if you've agreed you have a bar each as a treat, and he eats yours, then that's off IMO.

The stuff with the children's food is just downright odd. Who eats a child's specially reserved treats? It sounds like he has real issues around food.

Tortington · 19/01/2010 11:33

no chocolate issue here, chocolate doesn't appeal to me tbh, there are lots of scrummy things.

the issue is about respect isn't it. so i just wouldn't buy it

GetOrfMoiLand · 19/01/2010 11:41

Ribena - I have stolen dd's selection boxes before (have always replaced before she noticed).

Stealing choc off your children is not necessarily odd or indicative of an eating disorder. It may just mean that there was shit on the telly that night and the thief was bored.

happymatleave · 19/01/2010 11:42

I am the chocolate stealer in our house

jeee · 19/01/2010 11:48

Dh does this all the time, and he certainly doesn't have a problem. One time we went to open advent calender doors only to find that he'd raided them. He's nicked the kids christmas chocolate boxes on numerous occasions. Is this really seen as odd? The DC laugh and make sure they get payment in kind to make up for their stolen chocolate. I think it's a bit OTT to make out that it's a real issue.

UnderneathTheStream · 19/01/2010 11:53

Yes, but ?sneaking? food and showing guilt when caught out is pretty indicative of some isshoes. As an ex-ED sufferer (have had 3 varieties just for completeness!) it?s the whole secretive bit that triggers alarm.
Not proof or even necessarily always due to an ED, just one of the warning signs that?s all?.

Shodan · 19/01/2010 12:00

He should have gone out to get more chocolate, IMO.

That's what I do if I ever pinch a bit of DH's choc. Not that he minds, but still. It's only polite, I think.

Not so easy to replace 7 portions of bolognaise sauce which I cooked to freeze for ds2 and which greedy DH ate in one sitting -after he'd eaten a large plateful of spag bol.

In answer to the question though OP- it's maybe a little bit petty but I'd be a bit cross too.

RibenaBerry · 19/01/2010 12:03

GetOrf - but that isn't the same. Pinching some chocolate from the cupboard and replacing immediately (i.e. being aware that you have eaten something that isn't yours) isn't the same as polishing off your children's treats and leaving the bag with one in for your child to find and be disappointed.

jeee - every family is different, but personally I would be really cross about that. It's about respecting other people's things for me. If your kids see the funny side then it's obviously not causing upset in your house so fair enough.

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