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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MENNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

66 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 00:51

Sorry for shoiuting in the title!!!!

I have been trying for weeks to get DS2 into an earlier sleep pattern, so this evening DP comes in and it is 10pm, DS2 is settling down so he starts fucking playing with him!!!
It is now 1am and DP is getting annoyed that DS2 is still awake, i keep putting him on the sofa to settle and when he cries dp hugs and kisses him talking away.

So poor DS2 is now over tired and also confused because mummy is laying him down and daddy is hugging him arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I have put him in bed and told DP to bloody stay there and awake until DS2 settles cos i am having a coffee.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 01:45

Jodie, sorry got confused there,

DS1 is 11 and won't do the games, reading thing etc

OP posts:
JodieO · 19/01/2010 01:49

Locking doors wouldn't be an option. As I said, I have read other threads of yours I think about ds1 and his behaviour?

There are other options though, there always will be.

I know it's not ideal, but could you stay with ds1 until he's asleep? At least then you'd know he wouldn't be waking ds2 and you could relax a bit.

If you can tomorrow you could say the history (as long as you want to), I'd be interested to hear and help if possible.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 01:50

Jodie, I cannot really stay with ds1 because that would mean leaving DS2 unattended....arghhhhhhhhh not ideal with a 2 yr old lol...especially this one who runs around and climbs everything lmao

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 01:51

let me make a coffee and i will try to explain it all

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 01:58

ok this is me back...

TBH DS1's behaviour leaves a lot to be desired, he shouts, screams, tantrums, steals lies, is destructive etc. When i had DS2 he used to sleep in his carry cot in the living room because DS1 was so loud and boistrous all the time, at first everyone put it down to jealousy, however looking back over the years there was nothing to make him jealous, he was an only child until he was 9, he was on his own with just me until he was 7 but his behaviour has been the same since he was 3.

Being that i am being so honest, atm there is no way i would put DS2 into his bed and leave him there because on 2 occassions in the last 3 weeks (not told anyone this) i have found DS1 playing with knives, first carving the wall and last night carving a wooden spatula.

OP posts:
JodieO · 19/01/2010 01:59

Well, get ds2 to sleep first and then deal with ds1? I feel your pain with a 2 year old that runs and climbs on everything hehe, he's now 3 though as of a week ago

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 02:02

does the climbing stop???

his fav place to climb atm is the back of the arm chair and onto the window sill where he sits with a book....

OP posts:
JodieO · 19/01/2010 02:04

Climbing hasn't stopped yet hehe. People are his climbing frame along with various household furniture

JodieO · 19/01/2010 02:06

Oh, all mine LOVE books, ds2 will sit and ask for books for hours

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 02:06

oh yes we are his climbing frames as well!!!

and his workbench, bike, nappy basket, ds1's bunk beds and not the bloody ladder either!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 02:06

DS2 won't ask for books, you cannot get him to sit still long enough to read to him lol....

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JodieO · 19/01/2010 02:07

Sounds about the same hehe. Well, I'm off to bed now, I'll check in in the morning. Hope you manage to get some sleep.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 02:09

DS2 is asleep now i am relaxing lol nanite

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JodieO · 19/01/2010 08:17

How are you this morning? Glad you managed to relax a little even though it was late! You must feel exhausted though with them both up so late.

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 19/01/2010 08:58

Sorry to chip in so late, hope you got a resonable nights sleep eventualy.
Have you spoken to anyone like GP or HV and asked for help. It sounds like you've got 2 very energetic DS's. My DS2 can be a lot like this and HV and pre-school refered us to the local Portage group.
www.portage.org.uk/whatPortage.php
They helped us with Ds2's behavioural problems. He was quite a handful as a toddler!!! (And still is to some extent, but he is more manageable now, think Tazmanian devil crossed with a gremlin.)
They may even be able to offer you some help with your eldest DS, even though they are primarily for pre-schoolers.
I wish you luck, & a large G&T.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 09:10

Jodie I am fine, have been up since about 7, tbh I dont sleep much anyway.

fiaabn DS2 is really not a problem, I obviously didn't explain it very well....but i was annoyed with dp at the time i posted! DS2 doesn't have behavioural problems it is DS! who does, When ds1 and dp are not here DS2 goes to sleep much earlier by about 8.00pm and sleeps all night. I haven't spoken to the HV simply because I haven't been near or by one since he was really tiny and tbh have no desire to go to her. As i say he is not the problem and last night it was DP who was the problem grrr.

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fiveisanawfullybignumber · 19/01/2010 09:27

Sorry, kinda got the wrong end of the stick. Yes DP's can be a pain like that. Can you get any other help with DS1. I feel for you going through that most nights, must be tough.

JodieO · 19/01/2010 09:29

Ds2 woke me at 6ish today but I feel knackered, I find everything looks better after a good nights sleep but maybe that's just me!

I can see why you were annoyed at dp, could you speak to him today about it and explain why you felt that way?

MrsRigby · 19/01/2010 09:34

Shouldn't you be putting a 2 year old to bed at 7pm.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 09:51

MrsRigby, if you read further through the thread than the first posting, it is all explained hth

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/01/2010 09:52

fiaabn It can get tiring, and I am trying to get more help with DS1, have an appt with drs next week to try another avenue.

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MoreCrackThanHarlem · 19/01/2010 09:59

Why can't you put ds2 to bed early then keep ds1 downstairs with you until his later bedtime?

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 19/01/2010 10:00

Why can't you put ds2 to bed early then keep ds1 downstairs with you until his later bedtime?

Might be nice for ds1 to have some alone time with you, he can't be too impressed going to bed earlier than his 2yo brother.

titchy · 19/01/2010 10:01

Appreciate the issues you have with ds1 - but on a practuical level to help with ds2, assuming you have 2 bedrooms, is you and dp sleeping in the living room an option, and letting ds2 have your room? Not ideal I realise but you migth at least have one child settled each night properly....

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 19/01/2010 10:01

Pressed post too soon, blardy puter