to want all threads about soft play centre brawls and facebook misunderstandings to be LABELELD in the title so i can see to avoid them

[RonNumber]

amen

MNHQ, sorry - toddler here.

Love softplay brawl threads! All you have to do is say 'It's your own fault for going to softplay in the first place, weirdo' and run away.

Thinking of it, there should probably be a standard warning attached to a lot of threads on MN for all mothers of children over 5 years old. Something like: 'ATTENTION: this thread about bf vs ff/the intricacies of weaning/toddler group etiquette is going to bore you to fucking tears if your children are school age'.

I always wondered what the top 10 AIBU topics are. My guess is:
10. Softplay

1. Facebook
2. Something involving right wing politics/Daft Punk getting antsy
3. Erm, can't think of anything which makes me skip to:
4. Weddings: invites. Kids or no kids. Elderly relatives, or just fob them off with cake and some pictures
5. Weddings: gifts. Is money an acceptable gift or are you grabbing/evil/materialistic from a different culture, and in at ...

Number One Mother in Laws.

Obviously, there is seasonal variation. Round about mid-November, xmas days - who to invite and why are my family all mentalists, screams into pole position from nowhere.

1. AIBU to think that if a MNetter posts a top ten of AIBU threads then she should at least name ten topics

fine MmeLindt. I am supposed to be working, but here are my other Top 10 AIBU Topics.

1. Use of words - what's offensive, isn't offensive.

lol
my most hated threads are

oh go i cant start... too many

1. School related issues - parents evenings, whether or not the staff should pick up the phone/turn up the work/stop Tarquin eating chocolate

Ron
My brother is like that. He is lovely but slightly nutso about alc and babies.

My mum offered to take his baby on the night of their wedding so that they could, ahem.. have a wedding night. He said fine, as long as she does not drink.

No probs, said my mum, I will just have a glass of wine with my meal, and the champagne for the toast.

No, he stated, if you cannot abstain completely then we will just have to keep her in our room with us.

1. Men.

no number one AIBU thread is deffo about weddings and kids

1. Crap Husbands who don't do the washing up!

(BTW I LOVE a good soft play thread!)

Much better, Serenity. Who cares if your work gets done.

Yes, offensive words is good. Where someone is arguing that they can see why people might be offended by the word, but it is not meant that way adn they will continue to use it.

a man daring to have MATES or a social life

or

texting in teh garage a lot

x post serenity!

Close call for no.1 AIBU spot are the 'DH's family are a bunch of cunts and you better agree with me you bastards or you are all cunts too' threads

That's why I just went for "men". It's a bit lazy, but covers the full spectrum from not doing housework, to wanking, to having friends, to paying child maintenance (or not).

Maybe there should be a topic called "Men. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing, sing it again" (like the song, war, what is it good for?).

Yes MmeLindt. They don't pay me enough anyway. AIBU top 10 is much more worthwhile.

Threads where the OP moans like fuck that her old man is miserable/tight/goes out a lot/swears at her and calls her names.

Cue MNers saying come on girl, you deserve better than this numbskull.

Then OP comes back on saying oh no he's not that bad, is a good dad.

Got sucked into a Steiner vortex of hell once, so that is my top number 1 most hated, followed by ANY thread which is a slag off my neighbours children for no apparent reason thread.

Oh look! Offensive words AND FB. Needs some family drama, a feckless man, a wedding and a mother in law in a softplay area, and we're really cooking.

Hm, in lieu of working, I'm going to see if I can come up with an AIBU topic covering the full spectrum of the Top 10.

"AIBU to be annoyed with DFiance for taking my MIL to soft play, instead of doing the dishes, to recruit children to invite to our wedding"
OP - Also, my friend wants us to contribute money to their housing fund, instead of giving them a present. I was wanting to give her a Boden balaclava, which is totally more reflective of how I view her. She's like so right wing, she's practically a member of the BNP. She then posted on FB that I was a bint, and I totally object to that word, the slag. So, AIBU?

Tah dah!

You forgot doctor's receptionists, they get a good pasting too.

Steiner! Had forgotten about that pit of misery and despair.

Am I a money grabbing beeyatch for telling all my wedding guests I want a hundred quid in cold hard cash and not a set of saucepans from Argos? ....or variations of

parent / disabled parking spaces
baby ear piercing
eating supermarket grub before paying for it

Man, I had forgotten/blocked out baby ear piercing. Those are MENTAL.

I remember one though where the OP's MIL had done it herself to the OP's small DD without asking her permission, and gormless DH refused to say or do anything about it.