Hair cut at school - lack of supervision

[fernie3]

My daughter (reception age) came home from school with one of her pigtails cut off. The teacher told me she had found it on the floor and traced it back to my daughter (she was the only one with half her hair missing). The teacher couldnt explain what happened and didnt know if my daughter had cut it off herself or if someone else had done it.
My daughters hair is thick and so cutting of an entire pigtail takes a sharp scissors!.

I didnt say anything at the time because I dont like reacting in the spur of the moment and I was quite upset to see her hair hacked off.

I have tried asking her what happened but she just curls up in a ball on the floor and makes whining noises which no matter how nicely I try she wont stop doing so I gave up.

Would I be unreasonable to question this

why was my daughter alone with something sharp enough to cut her pigtail straight off?

Is it unreasonable for me to have expected the teacher to have at least have been close enough to see what happened even if not to stop it (i know how fast 5 year olds can move!)

I am taking her to the hairdresser tomorrow but im not sure what they can really do to improve it

Sorry, but unless she has very little hair, this would have taken some time. My DS had his hair cut at the hairdressers (it was very long). She put it in a ponytail and then cut it and it took her about 5 minutes with really sharp hairdressing scissors! Admittedly the hairdresser was quite surprised but he has very fine hair though lots of it! Can't imagine such young children would have access to scissors that sharp so likely to take much longer.

Children do cut their own hair but, as in all the examples given, this is loose hair and usually a small section. It also tends to be done in secret (in their room) or with a friend playing hairdressers.

Is the way she is behaving something you have observed before? Not how any of my DCs would have behaved, tbh. I would back off (as it's not working) and keep a close eye on her over the weekend. Make sure that she knows you love her whatever, her hair will grow if that's what she wants and, in the meantime she can try out a new style. Whatever has happened she sounds distressed and I would try and focus on this first.

One technique my children have found helpful is to draw their feelings. My DS (now 12) still finds drawing his feelings helpful and will often talk about what is going on afterwards. She is possibly too small to talk in this way but drawings can also give clues as to what is going on, especially if a child is able to tell a story about the picture.

My son recently cut his fringe off and butchered his hair at school (he's in reception). The teacher was so upset I didn't have the heart to be angry. Plus they were plastic scissors so they didn't expect a child to cut his own hair off.

We got over it, life goes on plus hair grows back eventually. I was relieved he didn't poke his eye out!

My brother had his ear lobe cut into with reception scissors at that age

oh bless, thats a lot of hair then.

tbh i think id just take her to the hairdresser and then not make a fuss about it. if she is whimpering she is obviously upset by it so id play it down - its done now after all. it will grow back, and will soon be a lovely little bob style. she might tell you in her own time what happened. either way it wont stick back on, so id try and play it down but id quietly ask some questions at school.

Take photos.
This will go down in your family history as a very funny moment when you look back

As reception teacher, I can completely see how this could happen and a child in my class chopped off her fringe last year! The foundation curriculum requires that children have free access to scissors, staplers, glue, paint amongst other things to initiate their own learning. The children won't (shouldn't - cos obviously I wasn't there!) have been in the classroom on their own.

Sometimes I am the only adult in the classroom and I have to work with small groups which means I'm not standing over the others.

At 4 though, they should know how to behave with equipment - we spend enough time learning/establishing/reinforcing good behaviours. Unfortunately, it is one of those things. My own DD cut her hair in the living room the other week with a pair of nearly blunt children's scissors so they don't even need to be that sharp!

I'd be upset too, but not the teachers fault i'm afraid (unless she was the one with the scissors...)

ffs - scissors are available in a Reception classroom for children to use. They are not locked away, only to be used when the teacher brings them out in a grand ceremony to be used as she watched over those few children, not even looking away when the door opens or a child on the other side of the room starts crying.

This happens all the time in people's homes where parents have 1, 2, 3 children maybe to look after. But yet again, teachers should be all seeing super-powered beings, who can control what 30 children are doing all at once whilst trying to teach small groups how to read, write, count, behave etc.

She either did this herself or sat still while someone else did it for her (yes - shock horror 4 year olds make choices for themselves - it's how they learn).

I presume she's been in school since September (although she could have been a Christmas start) so will have had a whole term to have learned how to use equipment in the classroom - including being told the rules about the scissors.

Get over it (and yourself). So her hair has been cut - big deal. I'm sure it looked really pretty but it's hair. It will grow back. Be thankful that you have a healthy little girl physically capable of exploring and growing and learning. There are much worse things going on in the world.

Ok - so I'm in a really bad mood this morning and I'm sure I don't mean all of the above to be so harsh. And I'm sure I'd actually be quite upset if it happened to me - but I'm still going to press 'post message'!!!

I don't have anything constructive to say, except that I work in a nursery with 2 and 3 year olds and I let them have free access to scissors.
They are shown how to use them correctly and they are fantastic most of the time.
Hopefully, by the time they are in school, they will be able to use them properly and won't be tempted into diy hairdressing.
Then again, they are only children.
Surely, it will grow back?

When my DD did something similar (right across the fringe to the hairline! Looked bloody awful for months!) I checked with my hairdresser (vainly hoping she could "do something" about it - like stick it back on?) and she looked closely and surmised that the angle of cut meant that it was highly unlikely she'd done it herself. Step forward DS, who suddenly became very vague on the subject...

My dd1 cut her own hair when I was with her - just a few locks, quickly done, I was furious with her. I also know another child who did the same at a school, aged three or four, her mother was furious with her.

If she did it herself, then why are you blaming the teacher?

My DD cut her own hair off. Not the fringe but pulled it forward from both sides and cut off good sections from both sides!

I was devastated at the time but now we laugh about it. (4 years later)

TBH the teacher cannot possible watch all 30 children and teach indiduals all at the same time. MY DS was in Recpetion and he let someone draw with felt tips all over his forehead. TBH I was cross with him because he obviously let someone do it to him! Your dd's hair will grow back and hopefully she has learnt a lesson about telling people to stop doing things she doesn;t want done!

Im a teacher & as the others have said this is a fairly common event! I would say it is more common for children to cut their own hair rather than others. - that is not to say that they never cut other peoples hair. (and it has only ever happened with girls to me)

Without knowing your daughter, but going on her reaction I would be inclined to think she may have done it herself. If she was in trouble for something that she hadn't done would she usally keep quite???

It's not nice but hair does grow back!
I have a great photo of me as a bridesmaid with completely shocking hair - cropped to nothing as I had hacked of all my curls. I look like a boy in a dress. My (girl) cousins all did the same! (im hoping this family trait skips a generation!)

My DSIL still casts up mentions the fact that my DH cut her hair when they were little. He claims to have 'given it a bit of a trim' because 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'

It a horrid thing to happen to your little girl, but it will grow back, I'm sure the hairdresser will be able to give her a nice shorter hairdo.

I know hardly anyone whose child hasn't chopped at their hair - or been the "chopper"!

ds2 wandered around for ages with his lovely, thick, straight (properly cut!) hair converted into something a hamster appeared to have randomly nibbled. In some places he was almost bald, in others his hair just stood on end. All his own work and all done long after I thought he was quite sensible with scissors. I wasn't at all sympathetic, let alone suggest he "drew his feelings", and he left his hair well alone afterwards!

PS. Please don't blame the teacher for lack of supervision though. It takes very little time to make a complete mess of your hair!

Both my kids have done this, at around about the same age (4 for my son and 6 for my daughter)

Son did it when he was supposed to be asleep, crept into my room and got nail scissors out of a drawer....he had lovely, thick hair with fringe which was rapidly reduced to a spikey/bald look. When I checked on him, asleep with a half bald noggin, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He had his hair shaved the next day, down to the bone in an attempt to even it out.

My daughter did it when staying over at her dads one night....she had long curly dark blonde hair, halfway down her back and she'd never had it cut. She decided to chop a large section of fringe as short as humanly possible and bit on the left side up to her shoulder (about 3 inches off), the rest still really long. Her dad didn't notice but I did as soon as she walked through the door....I was really upset this time and had to cut her a fringe and into a shoulder length bob all round.

Your dd's reaction does seem that of someone who'd done something they know they shouldn't of but hope you get to the bottom of it

Have re-read the post and am now in a worse mood.

"Shiregirl Fri 15-Jan-10 22:03:57
Wow - This is awful. I would request immediate meeting with school head" "as for the teacher - well, just unbelievable that they have such poor supervisory skills to allow this to happen."

"Spannerweb Fri 15-Jan-10 22:02:49
Oh my God. I'd have gone apeshit"

"LetThemEatCake Fri 15-Jan-10 22:00:38
I would be fucking livid"

This is exactly the reason that I am looking to get out of teaching as soon as I can. (and I am a damn good teacher as judged by OFSTED and numerous lesson obsevations my headteacher). I am SO fed up of Fing parents! (some parent's are WONDERFUL, but there are a significant number, like those I've quoted above, that do my bloody head in - day in, day out.

To think that you should 'request an immediate meeting with the head'? WTF? Why? If a parent brought a child into school one morning, having done this at home, should the teacher 'request that you have an immediate meeting with social services'?
Shiregirl - have you ever held a child's birthday party and invited 30 children? You are lucky to get through the few hours of the party without an incident - and I bet that more than 2 adults are supervising it. Teachers do this for 5 days a week, so of cause things are going to happen. We are HUMAN - do you get it? We do as much as we possibly can do. Do you want us to strap children to a chair for 6 hours a day? I don't teach this age group, but in reception classes the children have many different areas around the class with different activities - there is NO WAY that 2 adults (teacher and TA) can be watching all activities. NO PHYSICAL POSSIBLE WAY.

"such poor supervisory skills to allow this to happen". How many parents have taken their eyes off ONE child at home for 30 seconds and it has resulted in a trip to A&E?

I tell you what - YOU try doing it - just for one day.

• note to self - don't log onto mumsnet when in a bad mood!

My niece cut off a huge chunk of dd1's hair last New Year, with plastic scissors from a 'pretend' hairdressing kit she had got for Xmas. They were both very upset and tried to hide from us so we didn't notice. Niece cried as soon as I looked at her. I didn't have the heart to tell her off.

These things happen (a lot to dd1 - you would think she would have learned by now ), they are annoying and upsetting at the time, but in a few weeks you will be laughing about it.

Should maybe also bear in mind, that when children are doing something naughty, they will deliberately try to hide the fact from any nearby grown-ups.
They're cunning that way

Yup, they were probably hid under a table/in a cuboard giggling. Just hope there isn't a repeat attempt, as in dd1's case.

YABU

I would be quite cross if schools restricted use of sissors etc in case they were misused. We have to start letting go sometime and it is only hair (don't all children have a go at cutting itt themselves). I expect there was involvement of another child but would assume a level of co-operation from your daughter -I'm sure if she was held down by 3 other pupils and had her hair forcibly cut the teacher would have noticed.

Give her a hug and a haircut - bet she won't do it again.

Quite so!

purplehef that is sad that you want to leave - I can't however blame you if the MN jury is a good barometer of how teachers are treated by children.

My DD had her hair cut when she was 3/4 - her teacher was morified, DD was in a class of 16 there were two TA's. Good supervision in my opinion but anyone who has children should know it is impossible to watch them every second.

I laughed it off - what else can you do? the scissors aren't dangerous but anything that cuts paper can also cut hair and would I prefer that teh children had no acess to scissors? absolutely not!

The sooner we have the little beggars restrained in their seats with a direct feed wired into their brains the better.
Far too much independent learning going on in that classroom.
Or the teacher could send a letter home...
'Due to the inappropriate use of scissors in the class, they are banned forthwith.'

You can stab someone with a good sharp pencil...wasn't that a thread a while back?

YABU, sounds hysterical to me. I would not take her to the hairdressers immediately, she wanted it cut it got cut - let her wear it for a week.

We did this sort of stuff all the time, either to ourselves or each other.

It is just hair, it grows back.