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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that nearly 3 year old DS should

75 replies

Annya · 15/01/2010 08:57

be able to play for a few minutes in the morning by himself, while I lie in bed dozing, er, I mean waking up slowly.

He has a bottle of milk and a cuddle in bed with me and DH but is reluctant to even get off our bed without a clear commitment from one of us that we are getting up too. Now.

OP posts:

displayuntilbestbefore · 15/01/2010 13:35

My younger two are 5 and 2 and neither of them will wake up and happily do their own thing. Their first concern is how soon they can get breakfast so any chance of staying in bed is immediately out of the question. They don't function well until they've had breakfast (DH and I are the same ) and always wake up starving! Easier to get up and sort them out with food IMO.
I wouldn't let them turn on the tv unsupervised in case they ended up seeing something unsuitable and with ds3 being so boisterous we tend to instill in him the dangers of touching any electrical switches, including the ones on the tv, as he's something of a loose cannon!

oranges · 15/01/2010 13:41

christ, my 3 year old still has bottles. i keep telling myself he'll give them up before he's 16. he is very good at amusing himself though.

upahill · 15/01/2010 13:51

Mine gave up bottles at 12 months to theday and went onto the plastic cups with two handles.

They started coming downstairs at about 4 and a bit I think.

It all works out!

OtterInaSkoda · 15/01/2010 14:25

Do (almost) 3 yos all need entertaining as soon as they wake up these days? Can none of them amuse themselves for 20 minutes? Because mine bleeding well did - and so did my friends'! Perhaps it's because we started weaning them at 4 months or something

YANBU, op.

I find the bottle outrage highly amusing.

Pikelit · 15/01/2010 14:51

If a child is old enough to go to school, they ought to be old enough to be trusted downstairs. However, it very much depends on whether there are other influences. Only ds1 was as sound as a pound getting up and quietly playing with his cars from 4 onwards. DS2 was the classic child who would feed the dog into the DVD player or flood the kitchen by checking that the taps were still working. Fortunately he was never an early riser!

Undercovamutha · 15/01/2010 14:51

Otter - my mum claims that once I wasn't a baby anymore, she never got up early with me. I was either left in my cot to play, or as I got older, played in my bedroom until my mum and dad felt it was a decent hour (about 8 o clock!).

FimbleHobbs · 15/01/2010 15:03

LOL at bottlegate. I am lucky, my DC get up and go downstairs and make themselves turkey twizzlers.

shivster1980 · 15/01/2010 15:45

My DS is 3.5 and still wont play on his own in his room in the morning. He gets us out of bed with the gentle shout of "COME QUICKLY MUMMY AND DADDY I NEED A POO!" Such a relaxing way to start our day

LadyintheRadiator · 15/01/2010 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wheresmypaddle · 15/01/2010 16:02

Just to add my bit- my 2.5yo DS still has a bottle of milk before bed and in the morning.

I discussed this with my HV recently and asked her whether it could do him any harm- she said that as long as his teath are brushed a 5 min session with bottle twice a day would do no harm what-so-ever. She explained that problems occur when older babies and children spend lots of time sucking on a bottle- this can affect both their teeth and their palate, causing what she called a 'parrot mouth'.

Yes, ideally I would give him a cup but he is very attched to his bottle of milk- and he sleeps like a log after a cuddle, story and bottle of milk- I am not keen to rock the boat as yet!!

coldtits · 15/01/2010 16:30

Bloody hell my six year old makes his own toast!

happymatleave · 15/01/2010 16:55

My eldest 2 dcs went onto a cup at 12 months because I did everything by the book. They pretty much gave up drinking milk from then on as they would not drink it from a cup. My dsd who is younger still had a bottle of milk at night when she was 3. I always thought this was great bacause it meant she was still having a good drink of milk everyday and getting the calcium. I think that swapping to a cup is fine if they drink from it but surely milk in a bottle is better than no milk at all.

Triggles · 15/01/2010 17:17

I'm slowly working on increasing what our 3yo can do on his own, but he is currently nowhere near ready for this. We like to have breakfast at the table as a family anyway, so I'm not too worried about it right now. I have to get up early (5am) for our 5 month old, so I really only need him to amuse himself until after DS3 has had his bottle.

I've got to get working on having him drink from a open topped cup at the table, as we generally have him drinking from a sipper cup there as well. He tends to get a little wild with cups, and I can't say I like to have milk showered all over me 3 times a day, no matter how good it may be for the complexion.

shivster1980 · 15/01/2010 19:26

I have a 3 year old DS who is 'wild with cups' too Triggles I swear he will be drinking his first pint in the pub from one at this rate!

Boys2mam · 15/01/2010 20:22

My DS1 will be 6 in 5 wks and he is a dream, he would play in his room for at least an hr from getting up but DS2 (16 mths) wants to be up and at'em from opening his eyes.

As an aside, DS1 thinks that 'Adults' on the Sky tv guide is the alternative to 'Kids' - not good when he "allows" us to watch 'grown up programs' and clicks on Babestation at 8am.....

cupofteaplease · 15/01/2010 20:37

Ok, I haven't read the thread, sorry.

My girls are 4 and 2. Most mornings, they wake very early, before 6am and this is what they do between them:

Go downstairs and turn on channel 5
DD1 makes them both a small bowl of cereal which they eat
They check to see if the dishwasher is dirty/clean. If dirty, they add their bowl and spoon. If clean, they occassionally unload and put away the clean crockery and cutlery (not touching the knives...) then they add their bowls and spoons. Otherwise, they just put them in the sink.
They then come back upstairs and dress themselves in the clothes I have laid out the night before.
Finally, they make their beds and pull the curtains beofre coming to jump on me, so I can help them wash their faces and necks and brush their teeth with them.

I have NEVER asked that they do any of this, they have gradually built up a routine where they do all of the above things quietly, and they take great delight in doing as much as they can without waking me.

As I am a WOHM, they often don't get past step 2 before my alarm goes off and I can supervise them by ear as I get myself ready.

I'm not ashamed that they have a sense of responsibilty so young.

QOD · 15/01/2010 20:41

Hahahahahaha
sorry - hysterical laughter here. I think dd first went downstairs & put on the tv alone at hmmmmmmmmm probably 10.11yrs :D

SHe HATES being alone

Turtlesmum · 15/01/2010 20:53

I don't know if YABU or not but if you want your DS to stay in bed a bit longer have you considered one of those night/day clocks that tell your child when it's sleep time and when it's okay to get up? A sun means it's okay to get out of bed/leave the room while a moon means they need to stay in bed/stay in the room. You set the time it changes from moon to sun and you can gradually make it later and later.

I don't have one but I know people who swear by them. My nephew had to have his moved closer to his bed as he fell out of bed trying to read it. Works a treat for him. Obviously won't work for all kids but may be worth a try.Don't know what age they work from but I think it's around three and a half.

Undercovamutha · 15/01/2010 20:57

Turtles - we bought DD the gloclock one for Xmas and it has worked like a dream. She literally comes into our room on the dot of 7am so is obviously lying there waiting for it to change to a sun. I can't recommend it enough. DH wants to set it for 8am but I think that's a bit mean!

logi · 15/01/2010 21:38

My son is 6 and doesnt even sleep alone never mind get up on his own...and he still has bottles of milk ...oops

campion · 15/01/2010 21:53

Do you get taken to court, then, if your child has a bottle beyond 12 months?

DS2 - nightly bottle till 4. Teeth still intact, strong and healthy ( cos of the milk!) and has reached the age of majority.

cupoftea - you need a couple of boys too

logi -lol

megapixels · 15/01/2010 22:02

YABU. My daughter is 3y4m and I wouldn't expect her to get off the bed and play by herself at this age. She does though, but that is because she has an older sister, who's 7.5, and they play together in their room for quite a long time. I wouldn't let a 3 year old potter about downstairs unsupervised.

Oh and contributing to bottlegate - Neither of my two have ever had a bottle. They were breastfed and when I started weaning them they had water in a sippy cup and then later when they moved on to cow's milk also it was first from a sippy cup and from about 2 years a normal cup.

helpYOUiWILL · 16/01/2010 20:59

ok ....i admit.... now logi has said it.....my ds aged 6 also has a bottle of milk before bed.

hangs head in shame....

ok ...over it now... disclaimer

his teeth are perfect
tried to put it in a cup and didn't drink it
he barely drinks anything during the day so am glad he has the fluids
he will drop it when he is ready

lucyellensmumagain · 16/01/2010 22:03

oh, this makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up

Now please don't flame me, this was 17 YEARS ago! And i was STUPID!! Stupid STUPID, lazy cow.

Installed DD1 in front of TV watching videos, lit calor gas fire (you can see where this is going yes?) Went back to bed something (dont know what) made me get up a time later and go downstairs, DD1 cowering in corner of room whilst bit of paper on the carpet BURNING!!!

WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!

Sorry, totally irrelevant to OP, but just remembered it - still makes me feel sick.

lucyellensmumagain · 16/01/2010 22:05

blimey cupofteaplease, do you think i could borrow your children for a while

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