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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that nearly 3 year old DS should

75 replies

Annya · 15/01/2010 08:57

be able to play for a few minutes in the morning by himself, while I lie in bed dozing, er, I mean waking up slowly.

He has a bottle of milk and a cuddle in bed with me and DH but is reluctant to even get off our bed without a clear commitment from one of us that we are getting up too. Now.

OP posts:
LadyintheRadiator · 15/01/2010 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thrifty · 15/01/2010 11:07

ha it makes me smile that this has gone off on a bottle tangent. Good old mn.
Op. He is still too small to play by himself in the morning. I only know from experience. Ds used to just trash his room or loiter around our bed until we got up. Very annoying. Around 3.5-4 he started to be able to amuse himself without making too much mess. Since he's turned 4 he's discovered he can operate the dvd player downstairs and we finally got a lay in on the weekends. However, we've had to ban him from going down on his own now :-( because he put an entire roll me paper down the loo and picked all the sealant off the bay window one morning over christmas. Ho hum. Our fault for leaving him too long.
Oh, and nowt wrong with a bottle if thats what he likes.

LadyintheRadiator · 15/01/2010 11:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Undercovamutha · 15/01/2010 11:14

OP - it would be nice if they could entertain themselves at age 2/3, but sadly not realistic!

Keep a box of toys under your bed, after he's had his cuddle/milk kick him out of the bed and encourage him to play on your bedroom floor, and then hide under the duvet. That's what I do!

memoo · 15/01/2010 11:20

Get a tv in your bedroom, put cbeebies on when he comes in. put in ear plugs. sorted.

fernie3 · 15/01/2010 11:27

Mine 3 year old will not stay upstairs on his own,he WILL play with his sister for half an hour (she is 5). Although the noise they make I might as well get up anyway as i certainly wouldnt be sleeping lol.

my son ripped our our tv off the wall by "swinging from a vine like deigo". so now I have a hole in the wall where our tv used to be (havent got round to fixing the plaster he ripped off). I was ill and trying to rest, that didnt go well.

spookycharlotte121 · 15/01/2010 11:28

OP my ds will play in the mornings untill he gets bored or hungry and then he gives me a shout.

He has just gone into a bed so once he has woken up in the morning he has the freedom to roam around his room although he usually chooses to sit and read quietly or plays with his cars.

Now if only I could get dd to do the same and sleep through the night.... my life would be lovely!

nickytwotimes · 15/01/2010 11:34

Seriously...I don't give a shit what age other people give their kids bottles.

I just couldn't imagine being arsed with the faff of cleaning them for years on end. And ds was never a sooky kid. So it was easy.

But I also wonder at the logic of a kid being young enough for a bottle yet old enough to amuse themselves.

katedan · 15/01/2010 11:36

Annya - I think expecting DS to look at a few books for a few minutes is not unreasonable but anything longer than 5 mins is unlikely with a child so young.

I am shocked by posters on here who let there 3 and 4 year olds put on a DVD or the telly while they lie in. DS is 6 and I don't let him go downstairs in the morning till we get up. Obviously we never get a lie in but I don't think I would be able to rest in bed while DS and his 3 year twin sisters were downstairs on their own. Do they just sit still or is your lounge "rearranged" when you get up and do you actually go back to sleep?

helpYOUiWILL · 15/01/2010 11:37

a bottle at 2 years old!!! that is absolutely terrible!!!! it reminds me of a friend whose son has one and he is 2years old............

oh wait a minute - that's me i am talking about

potatofactory · 15/01/2010 11:42

arrrgggggggghhhhhhh

mazzystartled · 15/01/2010 11:48

oh give over with the bottle fascism

a bottle in the mornings (presumably with teeth brushed after breakfast) isn't anything to get your knickers in a twist about. sippy cups are virtually no improvement wrt teeth anyhow.

op enjoy the company. unless you and dh had other (patently unrealistic) plans for your morning. he'll get to the stage where he's happy to play alone within a few months

mazzystartled · 15/01/2010 11:50

DS has been pottering off downstairs on his own since he turned 4 or so. He's 5 and a bit now. He usually goes and plays with his lego. But sometimes he sets the table for everyone's breakfast.

helpYOUiWILL · 15/01/2010 12:00

dummies!!!! i know another friend whose son has a dummy and he is nearly 3.........terrible.........

oh wait a minute.... thats me again!!

on a serious note, i was concerned about the teeth and dummy issue. I did some research and also spoke to my dentist and as long as it is not permanently in the mouth and the child does not have a speech delay then it is ok. It should be ditched before the age of 4yrs however as it gives the mouth, jaw and teeth a chance to regain the correct shape before adult teeth are starting to come through.

i had a dummy until i was 5yrs and my teeth are perfect unlike my sister who sucked her thumb and hers are ruined.

Hopefully · 15/01/2010 12:01
Original poster
Annya · 15/01/2010 12:09

OK. So totally unreasonable expectations from me, then. Damn. I like the box of toys under the bed and then back under the duvet suggestion.

Or the telly on, me lying on sofa idea, too.

OP posts:
helpYOUiWILL · 15/01/2010 12:18

my ds (3 in April) has a gate on his door and a child friendly bedside light that he can turn on himself when he wakes in the morning. He then has toys to amuse himself with for abit.

sound smug don't i!!

however....

my eldest son now age 6yrs, however also had this "routine" but would never ever play alone in his room so our day would start at 5am - full on straight away.

Think it really depends on their personality if they are happy to be alone or not for abit

potatofactory · 15/01/2010 12:52

That makes me feel MUCH better, thanks, HELPYOU. My daughter does look a little bit goofy but then that's a family trait anyway (joyfully enough) and I'm not even sure she is goofy - my guilt my be projecting a certain goofiness upon her!

I've already told her it's going to the fairies when she's 3 as children don't have dummies after three. She seems to understand and nods sagely. I don't think she has a CLUE! At the moment she has one in her mouth and one in each hand at bedtime

Triggles · 15/01/2010 12:54

I agree, it depends on their personality. Our 3yo son could absolutely NOT be left alone downstairs while we were dozing upstairs. Never ever in a million years. He is far too fascinated with the remote controls, the buttons on any and every electrical item, the DVDs (which for some reason he thinks he needs to take out of the case and spin), the oven (cool knobs on the front - let's turn them!), and has worked out that he can reach things that are on shelves by moving things to climb on.

His bedroom, however, is pretty much child proofed, and we have a monitor, so if I hear a noise I can't identify, I peek to see what he's up to. I don't mind him spreading his toys about his room in the morning. It's a little bit of clutter, but he's generally fairly cooperative about putting it back in the toybox before we go downstairs for breakfast anyway.

He does have a sippy cup, but mainly because he drinks lots and lots of water during the day. And I don't want an open cup floating about my living room. So the sippy cup is a compromise for us. And since it's just water, I'm not too worried about it.

Marne · 15/01/2010 12:55

Dd2 3.10 will put the tv on and please herself but her sister (almost 6) won't.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 15/01/2010 13:05

I had a bottle until I was about 5, seriously. I wouldn't eat much proper food and it was the only way my mother could stop me fading away. My teeth are fine, I never even had a brace.

carocaro · 15/01/2010 13:11

YABU, DS2 is nearly 3 and won't do this, too much to ask really.

He does however go down with his brother sometimes who is nearly 8 and he gets breakfast sorted and flicks on the TV and weekend. One of us usually checks them and we slip back to bed for a bit.

Jelous?

He still has a bottle most days for all drinks, tried to kick the habit but to no avail. But he's 3 at the end of Jan and the bottles are going in the bin and he agrees!

lovechoc · 15/01/2010 13:27

my DS is nearly 3 and will play in his room (he has a safety gate at his door though!) when he wakes at 7am and will stay there quite happily til 8am playing with his toys and looking at all his books.

If you give them something to play with or look at, you find it makes life much easier for yourself and you get extra time in bed.

frozencold · 15/01/2010 13:30

I am surprised at the poster who won't let her child go downstairs on their own at 6!!

Why ever not? Unless they have a disability where they would genuinley struggle what is stopping them going downstairs from the age of 4 1/2 to 5 and playing wiht their toys?

DS was making hisown weetabix occasionly at the age of 5.

alana39 · 15/01/2010 13:30

Blimey I wouldn't let Dcs put the telly on - who knows what they'll end up watching?

Would second a box of toys and books in your bedroom and lower expectations!

At 6 and 5 ours now play or read in their room or downstars and can't remember exactly when this started but probably only gradual over last year or so.