to think it's quite common for men to behave really badly after the birth of a child?

[caen]

I'm a member of another forum and I've noticed how many women are really struggling with their husbands after having a baby. The men are refusing to help out at all, having affairs, telling the women they're fat, drinking until all hours, being tight with money and that everything is the women's fault. I don't hear about this from any of my friends in RL. My DH is wonderful and has supported me brilliantly with our DD, taking her at night since early and letting me sleep in when needed (I do reciprocate of course but he has done nearly all the tough nights).

Am I just a lucky cow (I know I am!) and there is a high proportion of women who are not shown love and support or are most men pretty good?

I think what happens in a fair few cases is that the woman hadn't really realised how selfish and sexist her partner was, she had just become used to letting him have his own way, and the relationship revolving around his whims and preferences. All of a sudden, the baby arrives and the man finds that he is no longer the centre of his wife's universe, so he starts trying to claw back the attention and service and indulgence, sometimes with whining or threats of infidelity, sometimes with abuse. Unfortunately, the idea that a relationship consists of a woman pleasing a man and prioritising him over everything is still worryingly prevalent.

i don't think its uncommon for men to be twats after the birth (particularly of the first)

but then, twattishness is far from unobserved behaviour on other occasions...