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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think it's ridiculous that children have Facebook accounts

147 replies

WhatNotHot · 12/01/2010 09:01

Whats the point of having an age limit?
I noticed on my DB profile that a child he has connections with, had been asked the question 'would you have sex with ....? The child is 8 ffs

And before anyone comes on spouting about how their 5 yo DD needs a FB account because of them having family that don't live in the same room, then don't bother, people managed to keep in touch before social networking sites were introduced Surely there are sits more appropriate for children, like this one

OP posts:
ronshar · 12/01/2010 23:07

Fish, you cant rely on them. Flighty buggers.

Fizzfiend · 13/01/2010 01:40

You have to basically lie as a parent to let your child on FB if they are underage...so what is that teaching them?

My 9yo dd begs me for a FB account. Her 9yo friend has one and plays innocuous games. However, I have seen extremely rude (and funny IMO) posts and have posted stuff myself that I would hate for a child to see. I don't want to have to censor myself, but on some occasions I have exluded the 9yo from viewing some of this stuff.

You can't tell a kid you don't want to be their fb friend. Parents need to get a grip. DD wants a farm. Tough! She has a wii, a dsi, club penguin. She probably wants a convertible mercedes, but I'm not going to buy her one!

Treeesa · 13/01/2010 01:42

I'm with you Fizzfiend - but then I didn't let my DD have a mobile phone until she was 15..!

MsSpentYoof · 13/01/2010 02:01

My DS has his very own fan page, it's a good way for his twat dad to follow what he has been doing

Plus, I think everyone loves my posts pretending to be him his updates

TheLadyEvenstar · 13/01/2010 02:12

DS1 has had a FB account for almost 18m now. he first got it when i found his twat father on there after ds1 had been asking to see him.

Things got a bit sticky for ds1 when his twat fathers latest slapper girlfriend started messaging him and being quite nasty. However he has a new account now and this is how he keeps in touch with his fathers family, ds1's aunt, uncle, cousins and grandfather.

I check his account daily and know exactly who is on his friends list, also have him on mine so i can keep a bigger check lol...he is 11 1/2

nappyaddict · 13/01/2010 02:14

My cousin let her DC have one when they were 6 (year 2) and I would probably allow the same. I don't see the problem with it. They don't post any pictures and there's no personal info on there apart from their names.

nappyaddict · 13/01/2010 02:18

BTW Treesa Did your DD go to many places without adult supervision before she got her phone? I would have agreed 15 was a suitable age before all the public phone boxes seem to have disappeared but now I would worry they would not be able to get help/contact someone in an emergency.

Treeesa · 13/01/2010 02:28

No she didn't really go anywhere.. She has a couple of friends close by and they used to live in each others pockets.. We bought her a phone when she started earning money baby-sitting, which marked the beginning of her having more independence and so being able to afford to go out for the day shopping with friends.. When she used to go out before she had a phone I would give her my trusty Nokia that I have had for 10 years or more.. I only carry it in my glove box when I'm driving to/from a night shift anyway.. My DH goes mad because he can never get hold of me when he wants me to stop off andbuy milk for the morning etc..!

differentnameforthis · 13/01/2010 02:54

Don't need facebook to play farmville.

www.farmville.com/

youwillnotwin · 13/01/2010 05:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinchmeimustbedreaming · 13/01/2010 06:57

my SB daughter is 9 and she has an account. we all begged him not to set it up but he wouldnt listen. its not safe, people can still message you without being a friend and she did actually get a really rude message from a 39 yo man. turns out it was a case of mis id. or was it? her profile pic is close up and she looks very underage. the thing is that was a close call and her father still didnt cancel it. with all the 'no charge for facebook' groups going on 1 has been sent out and apparently if you open it, it is a virus and opens unstoppable graphic images of human mutilation. now im not very internet savvy and dont know if this is possible but i dont want to find out. what if she did that couls scar a kid for life.

dont know about anyone else but i love a game of buckaroo with my ds

crankytwanky · 13/01/2010 07:10

I'm not suprised about the graphic images, pinchme. Some of the things I've been sent have burned themselves onto my retinas, including a close up of a bottle up some chap's arse, and a video of a man being eaten by a lion.You heard the crunching and everything. He was still alive.

at Step-niece btw!

pinchmeimustbedreaming · 13/01/2010 07:29

feel i am going against the grain by accepting her friendship cos i dont agree with kids on FB but as he isnt gonna keep an eye on her i feel maybe i should do my bit from a far. some of these status shuffles are really rude too, her other auntie has 1 on her page as we speak.

bebemoohatessnot · 13/01/2010 09:01

While I agree to a certain extent with what you're saying about it not being necessary. I do think you're being over the top in your vehemence.
Farmville is not like SIMS and it's free on FB and while you can purchase similar things the key word is 'purchase.'
But my key point is:
My dd 9m does not have a fb site, but I thought about it as often the things I post on mine are actually about her. My family lives in another country in another time zone and while, yes, I do tell them a lot of things over the phone, in emails and snail mail about what my dd does, by tuning into FB they can get more of a day to day account of our lives. I've been able to post videos of her first crawling, walking, taking a bath, her first words other cute things so that they can see their granddaughter, cousin, niece, and even daughter! since dh is away on business during the weekdays. Which they sure aren't going to get otherwise. And let's be honest, it's just easier communicating this way then any other way because people can come on when they have a moment and no one needs to coordinate schedules.
I suppose your comment "...needs a FB account because of them having family that don't live in the same room, then don't bother, people managed to keep in touch before social networking sites were introduced..." applies to mobile phones, hell phones in general, as people managed to communicate and get information to each other before those too. (see how over the top that is? and utterly ridiculous sounding?)

Once again I agree there's a lot of stuff on fb not for kids, but as others posted, if they are willing to police the site for their child then I too agree that it's better to allow them access and let them socialise and interact and let them know of possible dangers then to deny them something that is part of their world.

bebemoohatessnot · 13/01/2010 09:08

I would have to say if you're getting images, videos and comments on it that you're finding rude, then perhaps you should also look at who your friends are...

mummyloveslucy · 13/01/2010 09:09

3 of my friends on my facebook are children, so I'm aware that they can see my page. If I'm sent any dodgy clips, I have to delete them so that the children don't see them.
I doubt many other people would.
I do think it's a bit dodgy, but I suppose if you keep a close eye on them then it's not too bad.
I do think it's a bit sad that the days of writing a good old fashioned letter seem to be a thing of the past, but I guess that's the world we're living in now.

lowenergylightbulb · 13/01/2010 09:17

YANBU, mind you I'm a bit suss of FB for adults too

It was great when it started, but the level of personal info that it's encouraging people to publish on the web is scary. And IME facebook/msn cause lots of unnecessary arguments/hassle amongst school age kids and allow issues/bullying to continue beyond the school gate.

RumourOfAHurricane · 13/01/2010 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mrsruffallo · 13/01/2010 10:25

YANBU
It's ridiculous and unnecessary.

LynetteScavo · 13/01/2010 10:37

I think I give in quite a lot to my DC's but if something has an age restriction on it, I stick to it.

I don't let my 11 yer old watch 12 Cert films (although I know his dad has let him watch Harry Potter behind my back).

If something has an age restriction, it's so much easier to say no.

Original poster
WhatnotHot · 13/01/2010 10:37

bebe I actually meant that people could keep in touch via email too-use the internet without needing social sites.

So nobody can actually give any valid reasons to allow kids to use these sites. As some people have stated, it is teaching children that bending the rules a little to suit-is fine.

posted by TheLadyEvenstar "Things got a bit sticky for ds1 when his twat fathers latest slapper girlfriend started messaging him and being quite nasty. However he has a new account now and this is how he keeps in touch with his fathers family, ds1's aunt, uncle, cousins and grandfather."

You still let him have a FB account, just changed it to a different one?

youwillnotwin It's the same at college, if you go in through Google its not blocked.

From what I can gather, since FB changed the rules on privacy-many more peoples profiles are open, so if you do have your children on Fb, I suggest that you check the settings very carefully.

OP posts:
LittleMrsHappy · 13/01/2010 10:40

Each parent to their own, Id rather worry about my own children, that get up in arms about a net account!

MarineIguana · 13/01/2010 10:41

You will never stop kids from getting onto these things if they really want to, and you could make it more attractive by banning it. (Though that doesn't mean you shouldn't ban it - just it may have that effect)

But what I do think is importat is talking to children about what these sites actually are, what they are for, how people use them, the risks and the fact that what you put up may be impossible to erase and could be seen by someone you don't want to see it, etc. Parents should be aware of and on top of all these sites so they can help their DC understand them.

I am always shocked by bullying on these sites - kids should understand that if they have an account, they are in charge of it, they can block people, they can log off if they are being upset, they can go elsewhere. They are not obliged to FB and take whatever shit is thrown at them.

TheLadyEvenstar · 13/01/2010 11:05

whatnothot yes he does still have an account, he has his friends from school on there and also the family members stated as well as my sister, bil, mum, dp, and a few other family members on my side. I have always monitored his account since i allowed him to have it and i continue to do so.

Why would i close his account? i wouldn't i simply blocked the person concerned.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 13/01/2010 11:24

You should close it, TLES, because the age set by FB for account holders is 13, and your ds is 11.
You should close it because your ds has already received nasty messages from nasty people.
You should close it because there are plenty more age appropriate and less risky ways for your ds to keep in touch with his family.
You should close it because whilst you can check on his FB activity after he has used it, unless you sit beside him at the computer you cannot guarantee his safety. Checking after the event is too late.

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