to think that staying in the same school just because you can is not necessarily the best for our DC?

[thedollyridesout]

Is is so bad to for our DCs to change schools more often than is necessary (as dictated by the state or a house move)?

My DD is 8 and she is on her 3rd school. She appears to have coped admirably with the changes. We could in theory have left her in school number one.

I am interested to hear from others about the possible implications of such a course of action.

Is there a name for a serial school changer ?

I think the thing is, you don't know if they're going to find it hard to cope until they do, by which time it's a bit late.

My friend moved her daughter to a different school about 3 years ago when she was in year 2. She went from being happy go lucky to naughty, in trouble lots - it took her about a term and a half to settle and make friends.

My friend's just moved her again, in year 5, because they've moved house again. I saw her the week before she was due to start and she seemed quite a brittle little girl to me; prone to tantrumming or bursting into tears quite often that afternoon, which wasn't usual, and she might have been having a bad day, but I wonder if she was freaking out at the prospect of doing it again.

It's like any of us really, to some people moving house or changing jobs is nothing, whilst to others it's a massive upheaval. But with young kids they're not in control of it so it's even harder if they ARE the personality type to struggle.

Soooo.... I wouldn't do it if I could possibly avoid it. But if I had to, equally I know it wouldn't be the end of the world and there are things you can do to mitigate the effects.

I can see that moving school and moving house might be quite be unsettling - too many adjustments.

What about the situation that involves just changing schools i.e. no house move or other major upheaval?

Why do most people choose a school and stick to it? Obviously if you are entirely happy with a school there would be no need to change but schools change, as do our DC.

Am I wrong to be somewhat 'fluid' about this and will it come back to bite me?

While I am not dead against changes of school I would start to feel a bit anxious if I thought my DC was going to be starting his/her fourth primary school, especially if he/she was happy and settled.

dd did 4 primaries, one of which she hated, but loved the others.

ds did 3 and only loved the first. moving schools was the worst thing we could have done with him.

I'd avoid changes unless they were necessary, ie due to a house move or because of falling standards in the old school. I went to five different primary schools, due to house moves and having to live with grandparents temporarily while my brother was in hospital long-term. I coped well with four of them but the last one was one move too many. I went from being very confident and out-going to being incredibly shy and insecure. It affected my confidence throughout secondary school and uni and I didn't really get it back until I started work.

have you had to change schools due to house moves etc, or because you felt other schools were better, or your DCs were unhappy etc

i thikn that being on a 3rd school when there was no reason to change could potentially unsetlle even the momst hardy of children, but if your DD is ok, then it is ok, but why would you change that often

children do seem to thrive on being stable, settled and with continuity, where possible

DD will start her 4th school in September. For most of her peers it will be their second school (or possibly 3rd) as some of them attended a different preschool. Some of her friends (from schools number 1 and 2) have been at the same school since they were 2.5. She seems as well adjusted as any of her peers.

What should I be anxious about Bonsoir?

What telltale signs should I be looking out for that might suggest the negative impact of such changes?

Ist school: Lovely little PrePrep with

so how old is she now? Is the state middle just a progression from the state primary rather than a 'complete' change of school? i,e her friends are going with her and she was too old to stay at the state primary?

sorry i see she is 8 at the moment. do they normally change to the next level of schooling at this time?

They normally change school at the end of year 4. We moved DD mid year four (i.e. now) to our small local primary to finish out the year and make the move with her peers. But realistically they may not end up all going to the same state middle school.

The next move will be quite different to her earlier moves in that everyone in her class will be new at that school and some of them will be from her old school too. I wouldn't worry about it too much - growing out of a school is quite different to leaving it for other reasons.

I have a friend who thinks that some children thrive on moving schools (outside of the usual moving school times) - that they get a kind of 'honeymoon period' where they are the new kid and teachers and other children all make a special effort towards them. But against that there is the disruption to education and established friendship groups. Maybe it suits the kind of child that eventually tends to fall out with everyone best?

I hear what you are saying snorkie. DD is not the type of child who falls out with everyone. On the contrary, she still has friends from her first school and she is making an effort to keep in touch with a girl from her last school.

I am aware that it seems madness to move a child around like this when there is no real need. Can someone convince me what it is that she will be missing?

Isn't the idea that children attend only one school up until age 11 merely for 'convenience'? There is no such requirement on the staff of a particular school. What is so wrong with a child changing schools more than the state deems necessary?

I changed schools frequently as a child. Mostly due to house moves but also schools closing down, and once was a school that didn't suit me.

I cannot stress how much I hated being the new girl all the time. I never felt like I fitted in because the friendship groups were always in place before I arrived. I never spent more than 2 years at any school.

I did well academically but wasn't happy socially at a lot of my schools, particularly the last one. I didn't go to university as I was sick to the back teeth of different educational establishments.

It has had a long and lasting effect on me and I will do whatever I can to make sure this isn't repeated for my DCs.

I'm sorry to here that FimbleHobbs. Did you manage to convey how you were feeling at time to the adults around you?

Do you think it makes a different what stage the changes are made at? Pre or post eleven for example? I don't envisage DD changing schools once she has reached this age.

hear and difference oops

Erm, no I don't think I did really - probably lots of childish tantrums but not actually sitting down and saying how I felt. It wouldn't have made any difference anyway tbh.

The post eleven moves were definately a lot worse than pre eleven.

Depends

My friend is coping with what must feel like the most horrendous marriage end ever (her H is in prison for a start....)and will almost certainly have to move out of the village; if she can keep her kids in the village school for continuity I think they willm assively be better off.

But if a local schoolmans no silly drive each day, or parents being able to help out, or local friends.... thats all helpful too.

I did note amongst the kids at college that those whose parents moved them often due to forces lifestyles were almost all more confident, whethe r thats linked or no I dont know but was interesting.

I dothink the younger the better formoves though- ds1 slipped into this school in R year (at Whitsun so far in) almost seamlessly asdidds3when he shifted to SNU, but I know a similar move now would be hard.

Well DS1 is currently in y1 of school where he did his nursery year and could stay there until he does a'levels (provided he gets in to the senior bit).

For me I think its a good thing - its not about convenience more about finding a school that we all like and where he'll have friends who he'll have known forever.

I changed schools a fair bit and never seemed to have the same depth of friendships as those who'd known each other since the primary school stage.

Obviously some moves can't be helped. We're currently doing private but who knows if we'll be able to do that forever. Also dc's may not be academic enough to get into the senior school.

Thanks for that Peachy. I agree that school can play a huge part in providing a stable environment for children whose lives are otherwise in turmoil.

It is fine for some children and some people. Ds really stuggles with changes and whe we moved house at the beginning of last nyear he took about 6 months to settle properly in his pre-school. Now he is reception (which is on the same site as the preschool so the disruption was minimal) and he is still not completely settled 4 months later.

I think moves are sometimes unavoidable but I want my son to have a stable place he remembers as home. He doesn't have siblings (and won't have any) so he needs the time and space to make local friends and keep them.

I would have to very unhappy with his primary school (which I am not as I think they have been fantastic) to move him now just as he is beginning to settle down.

Depends on the child I guess. I would have hated it. But I was quite a shy child. I hated change. My DC are more self-confident. They'd still struggle with it but they'd probably settle down more happily and quickly than I would. DS#1 has been fine (more than fine actually) moving to secondary though DD is more concerned about it.

Does seem a lot of moves though.

As a teacher I'd probably avoid changing my child's school if she was happy but wouldn't hesitate if felt she was in the 'wrong' school for her. The children I've encountered that have changed school frequently have also tended to be those who've been excluded/rehoused urgently/under other traumatic circumstances and whilst the change may have been necessary it can take a long time to get the appropriate support into place for them, especially if they've changed LA. With some frequent movers there can be issues with them assuming that they won't be in a school for long so they never really allow themselves to be part of that school community and I don't think that does anyone any favours.

From the other side of the coin, the 'static' children in the class can IMO suffer from others dipping in/out of the class. One of my Y6 classes (which had 28 pupils at the end of the year) had had a total of 78 children go through their class since Y1! That has an enormous impact on friendships and the emotions of the existing class as they never really know if their classmates are in for the longhaul or will be whisked away at a moment's notice. In terms of allocation of support and adult help children arriving/departing frequently is a nightmare to co-ordinate so that every child gets what they need when they need it. Oh, and Ofsted take no account whatsoever of the impact of mobility i.e. the children who arrive after the end of KS1 but leave before the end of KS2 - to them it never happened!

So, it may be fine for a well-adjusted, confident, articulate, well-supported child who needs no additional educational support to change schools regularly but there is an untold impact on the other children and if everyone does it then even the well-adjusted, confident, articulate, well-supported child who needs no additional educational support wll probably struggle.

tracybath I think there are pros and cons to your scenario.
For as long as things are good then it is fine.

I am not sure it is necessary to have friends from your primary school when you grow up - I imagine there is no real depth to those early associations in most cases.

What goes for friends can apply to enemies too .

I think there have been studies on how moving house has an adverse affect on children (a german friend told me about this probably 10 years ago so it could be a german study???) if that is a proven thing then in general moving schools would similarly not be a good thing. Most children thrive on routine and familar rather than change IYSWIM.

My eldest was in a junior school class that had a very transient population and it was a nightmare for the pupils and teachers alike. 20-24 in the class consistently but only half of them started in year 3 and stayed until the end of year 6 so probably another 20 children at least had been and gone in those 4 years, it was very unsettling.