to think that staying in the same school just because you can is not necessarily the best for our DC?

[thedollyridesout]

Is is so bad to for our DCs to change schools more often than is necessary (as dictated by the state or a house move)?

My DD is 8 and she is on her 3rd school. She appears to have coped admirably with the changes. We could in theory have left her in school number one.

I am interested to hear from others about the possible implications of such a course of action.

Is there a name for a serial school changer ?

I thibk that it depends on the child, however I moved loads as a child and hated being the new girl, everyone looking at you and going though eveything all over again. Didn;t help that my name at that time was quite unusual. Also in my last school was bullied quite badly and didn;t really have my own group of friends to turn to.

I would recommend not moving schools quite so much unless necessary. I feel that my changes have had an impact on my life. I still find it tricky in situations with lots of new people and its taken me many years to get a good set of friends.

Don;t know if this helps you or not, your DD may be very different to me, and maybe its just my personality that would have found these things tricky but there you go!

I went to 4 primaries (am in Scotland, usually kids go to one primary from 5-12). All due to house moves. First change was ok but second inside a year completely knocked my confidence and I started vomiting every day on the way to school and again when I was there. Fourth school was lovely, I built my confidence again.

I have to completely disagree about not making strong bonds at young ages - I am still in regular contact with two close friends made at age 8 (in school 4); and semi-regular with 2 more. One now lives in America and we've kept contact for years even before facebook made it easy.

It's not very clear from your posts why your dc has moved so often - what prompted the moves?

I've never thought of it from the point of view of the children who stay . Thankfully DD's arrival/departure will have been a mere ripple to those around her. It just wouldn't work on a larger scale, would it?

FimbleHobbs
"I changed schools frequently as a child. Mostly due to house moves but also schools closing down, and once was a school that didn't suit me.
I cannot stress how much I hated being the new girl all the time. I never felt like I fitted in because the friendship groups were always in place before I arrived. I never spent more than 2 years at any school.
I did well academically but wasn't happy socially at a lot of my schools, particularly the last one. I didn't go to university as I was sick to the back teeth of different educational establishments.
It has had a long and lasting effect on me and I will do whatever I can to make sure this isn't repeated for my DCs."

FimbleHobbs are you me in disguise? I couldn't have put it better myself. Between parents changing jobs and deciding which one of them I'd live with as a teen, I went to 11 different schools between reception and GCSE's!
In early adult life I always got itchy feet in relationships, jobs and houses. It was a hard habit to break! Yes, I moved house a lot when DC's 1&2 were younger, but kept them in the same school thankfully, I did start to realise how much it was affecting them.
A few years after DC3 was born we made 1 big move from one end of the county to the other, but that was a well thought out decision based on better education and way of life for the dc's. Nearly 5 years later, we're still here in the same (now extended) house, DS1 is doing his A levels & expected to do very well, and all other DC's are happy, settled and well established in their local friendships etc.

Please note, in no way am i judging you OP, just thought you'd like the perspective of one who's been through it, and the after effects. but now !

Fist move was at the end of preprep. Moved to a more suitable prep school (no Saturday school and less emphasis on boarding)

Second move was to the state sector for a variety of reasons.

Third move will be a natural end of stage move after two terms in state primary.

3 years plus nursery in first school, 1 year +1 term in second school, 2 terms in third school.

fourth school will be for 4 years (or 2 if DD does 11+ for possible grammar school entry).

fifth and final school = 11+ grammar or 13+ comprehensive.

Why are you asking?

Surely you can't avoid your DD having to make the next two moves, unless you just move her once - back to a private sector 5-18 school?

Well that doesn't sound so bad. I had 7 different schools aged 4 - 16, where the majority of my peers had 3 and that was due to moving up to the next school

tdro I think its true about the effect on the kids who stay but if its a popular school that may well be balanced out by freeing up a place for a local child or one recently moved into the area, so its probably OK to focus on your own child rather than worry about the rest IYSWIM

I have 2 younger DC, the first of whom has followed DD and the other hasn't started school yet.

That is why I am asking. Although there are apparently no ill effects, I just want to make sure that I am not missing anything.

Do I think that DS2 would benefit from going to the local primary since preschool with no changes until absolutely necessary? I honestly don't know.

It seems to me that DD is in a far better position than her peers at the local primary school for spending her first few years in the private sector - who knows?

At the moment we are contemplating 1 preprep for nursery, Rec and YR1 then local primary from YR2.

Am I mad?

Depends upon the child but on average it takes 6 months to recover from a move... they're too busy fitting in to concentrate on school work.

I went to 3 first schools, 4 middle schools, and 3 secondary schools, as a result of parental whim, house moves and in one case bullying. I do firmly beleive that these had an adverse affect on me, and as a consequence am very keen to avoid moving my own DC's unless I felt it was absolutely necessary. The moves knocked my confidence and although I do have good friends, I have always felt like a bit of an outsider.

I can't see it taking anywhere near 6 months for my DC to fit in but maybe I'm deluded.

JemL your situation sounds quite extreme. I can see how so many moves would have knocked your confidence.

Like other PP I moved schools a lot and went to 5 different primary schools (up to age 11). Then I moved to a different secondary school where thankfully I did stay. Only one of these was a natural progression (infants to junior with most of the class moving to same school).

I'd echo that I hated it. The first couple of moves were ok but after that I just lost all self confidence and the ability to make friends. I spent the rest of primary school feeling very excluded and an outsider.

Not moving my DC unless absolutely necessary (and even then I'd question and requestion the necessity) is a strong priority of mine.

In answer to the response about whether adults around me noticed, the answer is probably "no" - my parents were very unlikely to have taken any notice of me in any case - the last couple of school moves were because of their deep rooted belief it was to a "better" school. A school that is better on paper is not a "better" school if you end up feeling miserable and alone there.

6 months is what research indicates.

Part of the reason for move number three was so that DD could get to know the children that she would be moving to the next school with.

I am now beginning to think that the catchment middle school may not necessarily be the 'best' school.

It is useful to have other perspectives on this. Thank you all for your responses.

Best does not necessarily mean better on this occasion. I am off to ring the primary school now to find out where the other children in DD's class are applying.

Is that 6 months to settle in to a new school if other things remain unchanged i.e. no house move or change of family/personal circumstances?

Could you possibly direct me to the research posieparker?

It's the educational impact, I'll find it for you... I have moved my ds too many times and two headteachers have told me about 6 months.

here's something I'll have to find something better later as soon going to be cooking for 8... when the dcs arrive home!

Have you asked your DD how she feels about it?

Or get someone else to ask, so she doesn't feel she has to say what she thinks you want to hear.

"It seems to me that DD is in a far better position than her peers at the local primary school for spending her first few years in the private sector"

Why do you think this?

She has had opportunities to play in team sports and orchestra that they haven't had. She has also studied French to a greater level and met teachers who have travelled widely and taught in/ lived in other countries. Of course I am not entirely aware of all the experiences that her peers at this particular school have had so I could be wrong.

Perhaps I will get her new teacher to ask. Or do you think it should be someone not related to education?

She seems to be fine about it all and she is very excited about the current new school (lots of girls and hardly any boys in her class).

Good idea to get her teacher to ask. Or a friends mum / dad?

I still don't see why you moved her to the state school, though. Those types of opportunities just arent on offer in the same way in the state sector, so she's lost out compared to her old friends, hasn't she?

So she's had opportunities that she no longer has? And you think this is a good thing?
As for the research, which I will find and post, it's common sense that children would be a little behind when having to settle in again. Established friendships can be difficult to penetrate. I speak from the experience of moving my, most popular boy in the year, ds who is still recovering as someone on the outside.

Reasons for making the move to the state sector were financial/quality of life related and I am amazed at how much of a 'burden' (that I hadn't really realised existed) has lifted.

Because of her experiences in sport she has been allowed to join an established town netball club now rather than having to wait until she is 9.

She is still pursuing her music outside of school and has opportunities to perform. We are still in search of an orchestra but getting closer all the time - right time wrong venue last time for the county one .

My reasons were similar and turns out the state school is far better than the private.

Was she happy in her other schools ?