for thinking marriage is special?

[WashwithCare]

I'm not saying that there aren't good reasons, or that it shouldn't be permissble to end a marriage - sometimes marriages fail...

But to my mind, marriage confers a special status on a relationship with a loved one whom you have chosen to consciously make a public commitment. It doesn't matter how long you cohabit, you didn't do that - you're not married.

I have had a number of long term bfs, some of whom I lived with. I didn't marry them for good reasons. I would hate the thought that I would be legally bound to them in ways I did not agree to simply by living with them.

I don't believe cohabitees should gain automatic rights, however long they live together. After all, there is a simple process and legal framework already in place if you wish to confer this on another person - you can marry them! Do others agree?

What, the programme about Iris Robinson? I was watching it. What specific relevance does that have?

hocuspocus, the crux is whether opting-out can be unilateral or must it be consensual to be effective.

If it can be unilateral, then opting-in is not worth the paper it is written on.

If it needs to be consensual, you might as well get married because there is no difference to marriage and at least marriage has a whole legal regime in place for divorce ie opting out with or without the consent of the other party.

But you can't have unilateral opting in, because that would be putting legal obligations on people who don't want them. Of course it has to be consensual.

Marriage is special IF it is a happy marriage.

All types of love are special surely?

However, people should not be considered less in love or committed if they are not married. Some people fall out of love once married.

Noone can afford to be smug nowadays you know. What with a considerable number of people getting divorced.

relationships start, relationships run their course. Why stay married if you are not happy anymore.

Marriage is as special`as you both make it but not the only answer and completion of love. Many love each other but cannot marry for whatever reason.

I'd kind of like to see a rearrangement to the effect that 'civil partnerships' are the norm for the non-superstitious with the same registry office ceremony whether you're straight or gay as I think it's stupid to make any distinction WRT the legal aspects. And the superstitious who want to twat on about only heterosexuals being allowed to 'marry' because your imaginary friend says so - apply that to your own relationships all you like but leave it out of other people's.

Georgi, good point.

I assume opting-in in hocuspocus' example would be consensual. This is because it is at the start of the relationship and both parties are probably still lovey-dovey.

It is at the end of the relationship that the distinction between unilateral and consensual becomes crucial.

"If you see marriage as a shackle then you are definitely in the wrong relationship "

No I'm not - I'm in the right relationship. I just don't approve of marriage!

OP you seem to have a few threads going in AIBU to do with relationship issues. If you want to discuss these more seriously then I suggest you post them in relationships. Oh, that's right, you need something to write about!

To answer your question. Yes, I believe so, there are many reasons why personally but they are less to do with legal reasons.

NotAnOtter says "personally i think 'Mrs' sounds so staid"

For me, "Mrs" has been a godsend! It is so great just being able to call myself "Mrs GaelicSheep" to call centres etc. instead of going through the yawningly boring task of spelling out my unusual first name a zillion times. I could never do that with "Miss" or "Ms" as it made me sound like an old spinster.

Nothing wrong with being an old spinster. Not sure I even like that word.

I don't like the word either - wasn't intended as a slight on anyone!

i think if you want to marry do it.but dont expect others to concur with you.marriage isnt automatically the magic panacea,nor is living together indicative of none commitment.and no amount of smugalicious marrieds banging on about marriage makes it special or confers elevated status .

spinster lol

i am liking that!

God sorry, I never meant to call anyone a spinster! I meant it sounded like calling myself Miss Marple or something... But maybe others say Ms or Miss X and think nothing of it and I've just offended you all... Keep digging Gaelic!

no gaelic!! i quite like it!

bad attitude op

Oh no :(

good question stewie griffins mum
feel free to message me if you'd like to know

FrustratedHippy

spit it out, here please

A lot of people were hurt by WWC and you ought to step carefully

oh Bald?

What gets my goat is when some married women think that they are somehow more morally superior, worthwhile and socially upright than non-married or single women.

I actually had one married women tell me I must be desperate for sex as I wasn't married. At the time I was having lots of sex; with many different partners.

She also started banging on about how complete she was BECAUSE she was married. ugggggrrrr.

It is special but it dosn't mean that it is BETTER than any other way of relating to others.

my son has just come back from his first term at university and says he was in a room with a group of boys 'horrified' at his parents' unmarried status!!!

welcome to the 21st century!

Oh - troll thread? But I had to say it anyways!