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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be cross with my neighbour?

33 replies

mrsruffallo · 09/01/2010 21:48

Our driveways are icy,yes, I agree.
I was carrying heavy shopping and trying to hustle toddlers home.
Can I help you he shouts from his doorway.
I smile neighbourly, no, I think I'm fine, thanks
Next thing I slip (not over, just a shuffle)he runs and grabs my bags. In the struggle I slip again, onto my knees this time, bags split, I fall and he stands there grinning and says oh, fine are you?

OP posts:

FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 09/01/2010 21:49

He was trying to help you dear. Why would you be cross with him?

alicet · 09/01/2010 21:52

I would be cross with the 'oh fine are you' comment. What a twat. you WOULD have been fine had you not slipped - no need for the patronising comment. YANBU

YABU however if you are complaining about him coming over to help when you slipped (which is not how I read it - I thought you were pissed off with the condescending comment)

Original poster

mrsruffallo · 09/01/2010 21:53

I wouldn't have slipped if he hadn't tried to be 'helpful'

OP posts:

FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 09/01/2010 21:55

Maybe you would, maybe you wouldn't. Who's to know. Maybe he saw you struggling and wanted to help you.

Lilyloo · 09/01/2010 21:59

I thought he came to help after you slipped

scottishmummy · 09/01/2010 22:01

did he push you?trip you up?nope he not to blame

sorry you fell,but not the neighbours fault

Original poster

mrsruffallo · 09/01/2010 22:01

Bit of background. He is a busybody. DH hoovering his car, emptied some rubbish onto the pavement. Sillyballs comes running over "Can't you put that in a bin?" He yells
DH raises an eyebrow andforcesa smile "I am going to do that when I am finished"he explains.
SB seems furious. He goes on and on and on until DH has to get tough with him.
We are faced with things like this on a daily basis.

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 09/01/2010 22:02

charming anecdote,bears no relation to you falling

Original poster

mrsruffallo · 09/01/2010 22:02

No SM, while it's true he didn't push me he could have caused a nasty accident.
You wouldn't put up with him for a minute

OP posts:

Heqet · 09/01/2010 22:03

So you were struggling on a slippy surface, with bags and toddlers and declined help?

Mad woman! I'd have had him taking it in, unpacking and making me a cuppa

FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 09/01/2010 22:03

Ahh, I see.

He sounds like a lonely old goat. Have you tried suggesting age concern lunches/bowles etc?

Heqet · 09/01/2010 22:05

oh, x-post with your explanation!

AIBU by stealth!

OP - nice act by friendly neighbour rebuffed.

part 2 - neighbour is a nosy old crow and you are sick of him.

you should have put it all in your OP. go stand in the corner.

Original poster

mrsruffallo · 09/01/2010 22:06

I know, he is young, well, early thirtes I would say. Not bad looking but single. He has a good job.
Yet he takes any opportunity imaginable to come over to us.
I wouldn't invite him in, he would be too nosy and never leave

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 09/01/2010 22:06

sorry for your troubles but dont apportion blame to neighbour in bad weather

Original poster

mrsruffallo · 09/01/2010 22:13

Sorry didn't mean to do this 'by stealth' but it is how it seems
what do I do?

OP posts:

Heqet · 09/01/2010 22:20

There's lots of things you can do.

All out warfare by saying things like "I didn't actually ask for your opinion". "I'll do it my own way." "I don't want your help." and "Go away."
Even the most thick skinned would get the message.

The slightly more subtle looking at him with expressionless face (at the moment you smile, don't do that) when he makes a 'suggestion', don't respond. Just look at him. Just wait and then and carry on with what you are doing when he's finished.

Or the yes/no approach. Whatever he says, where possible answer with a yes or a no. No explanations, no further discussion.

Or you could always go out on a limb and befriend him. Maybe he's lonely and socially inept.

Hey - maybe he fancies you?

Heqet · 09/01/2010 22:21

I don't mean that he fancies you because he's lonely and socially inept.

Original poster

mrsruffallo · 10/01/2010 23:28

Yea, thanks a lot Heget

OP posts:

Original poster

mrsruffallo · 10/01/2010 23:30

Only joking...I have only just caught up with this, thanks for bothering to answer.
I guess befriending him is the nicest option, but he seems so keen, which puts me off.

OP posts:

Angelcat666 · 11/01/2010 00:07

"I know, he is young, well, early thirtes I would say. Not bad looking but single. He has a good job."

Is there no one you could introduce him too

kreecherlivesupstairs · 11/01/2010 07:34

I'd swap him for the mental who lives above us. At least you don't get nasty notes about your flat smelling of liquid cow shit.

Original poster

mrsruffallo · 11/01/2010 14:10

Really kreecher?
That sounds horrible.

He was salting outside our house this morning with table salt

OP posts:

Sassybeast · 11/01/2010 14:13

How awful. A neighbour who offers you help ? I'd sell up immediately and move.

Original poster

mrsruffallo · 11/01/2010 14:20

There's help and there's help isn't there?

OP posts:

ChickensHaveFrozenNuggets · 11/01/2010 14:23

I would love him. He'd probably offer to look after the chickens when we travel

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