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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to think my boss has been unfair?

54 replies

Undertone · 08/01/2010 17:26

I work at a small marketing company of 20 people. I was hired in August 2008 at the same time as another chap (let?s call him G) ? both roles were entry-level (Account Executive), although I already had a year?s experience as an Account Executive at another marketing company. Very quickly I took on a lot of responsibility and gained the trust of the senior management. He, on the other hand, needed baby-sitting through even basic office skills. I am a bit of an Uber-Competitive Swotty Mc Teacher?s Pet, so I felt pretty chuffed that I was leaving this guy in my dust cloud.

I was working under an Account Manager who left in June 2009. The company didn?t replace him, I took over his role, and a couple of months later I brought up in my review that I would like to be promoted to Account Manager (I mean, I was doing the job already ? and very well at that, FFS). Senior management said they would promote me if I proved before the end of the year that I could do x, y and z.

In those five months I worked like a fiend to step up to their challenge. G, on the other hand, was often (3-4 times a week) in 10+ minutes late. He?s one of those laid-back but still-arrogant types. I know I out-performed him in every respect. He didn?t even make any kind of secret about the fact that he was actually thinking of quitting and starting another career.

In December I was told that I?d done a great job, and that as of January 1st would be an Account Manager ? I would even get an 8% pay rise. I had a lovely Christmas celebrating this with my family. It had been a tough end of the year ? plenty of late nights at the office. I was very proud of myself.

So ? I came back to the office this Monday. The MD sat us all down for a chat. At the end he said he had an announcement he was pleased to make; he was promoting me and G to Account Managers!

Later that day I took my line manager (who had been involved in the decision-making) aside for a quiet chat. I said I was confused ? I didn?t know G wanted to be promoted. Line manager said that he thought G had worked hard ? why not promote him? Now at this point I got a bit upset. As far as I was concerned, I had only been promoted because I had been working hard towards specific set goals for a long time. I didn?t see why he deserved it. It made me feel like all that work was for nothing. Line manager got irritated that I was upset, and honestly couldn?t see why I was complaining ? didn?t I just get given the promotion I was after?

So come on ? AIBU to be angry? Or should I just shut up and sit down?

OP posts:
shoulditakethisjob · 08/01/2010 17:29

I would think that unless you were his boss it wouldn't really be your place to assess how hard he works.

Ten minutes late doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't work hard.

TheRoyalty · 08/01/2010 17:29

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TheRoyalty · 08/01/2010 17:30

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smittenkitten · 08/01/2010 17:31

it does sound very annoying, but ultimately the fact he's also been promoted doesn't impact on your promotion. Ultimately if they don't differentiate, they will lose talent and it will be their loss. I am a huge believer that results do ultimately win out and you will get a differentiated reward. I think it was reasonable to make your point, but now you need to let it go and just concentrate on being really good at your job.

Undertone · 08/01/2010 17:31

He sits adjacently to me. He has not worked that hard. This was what was really puzzling!

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 08/01/2010 17:31

I think you should concentrate on you.

I know it's bloody annoying to see coasters when you slog it out. But I think your work/ reputation will suffer and not his if you get embittered about this. There's nothing worse than a bitter competitive colleague - don't be that person.

Have a rant this weekend. Get it out of your system then walk in next week chuffed at your own achievements and keep performing. Don't feel bitter, feel proud and enjoy the pay rise.

nancydrewrocks · 08/01/2010 17:32

Shut up and sit down!

You got your promotion. Unless you micromanage everything that he does how do you know he hasn't performed?

shoulditakethisjob · 08/01/2010 17:32

Well the level of work he has done is obviously good enough for them.

Just because he didn't work as hard as you (in your opinion) doesn't mean he hasn't worked hard enough to be promoted.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 08/01/2010 17:33

I think you do just have to accept your promotion graciously. Carping about what's happened to another employee just makes you appear to be negative and needling, imo.

I can see the annoyance in how hard you have worked but it's out of your control and you shouldn't try to control it because it reflects so badly on you if you do imo.

NotQuiteCockney · 08/01/2010 17:33

If your not his manager, it's not your problem, or your business.

(On a completely unrelated note ... how well did/do you get on with your siblings?)

porcamiseria · 08/01/2010 17:34

YANBU, at all. But my guess is that they want 2 AMs and they see its easier to hire him, than someone external. You have tried ti protest this, and the message is clearly that they have made their decision

Its a shame as you now understandably feel "why did I bother", and I get that.

But as my Mum always said, life isn't fair! and never is this proven so much as in the workplace!!!! so now you need to pick your battles and just get on with it. I know you feel disillusioned but competing and getting angry over this chap wont benefit you in any way, so try for your own peace of mind to park it.

I also think that if he is a bit shite, one day it will come out

so, YANBU to be annoyed, but YABU if you allow this to fester and annoy you.

I do feel your pain, very similar shit going on in my world too! I think women need to work 10 times harder to be ackowledged sometimes......

NotQuiteCockney · 08/01/2010 17:34

Ack, you're! Not your!

Undertone · 08/01/2010 17:35

Yeah - I realised how ridiculous I was looking to my line manager and shut up pretty sharpish! They won't hear another word out of me on the subject. Big smiles.

I am fuming internally, though. Agree I shouldn't get bitter about it. At the moment all I want to do is stamp my feet and have a tantrum, though!

OP posts:
FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 08/01/2010 17:36

Sorry, but grow up. You got your promotion, you got a pay rise and in todays work climate you were lucky not to be sacked. It is not your business who else is promoted.

Undertone · 08/01/2010 17:36

Hee hee NotQuiteCockney - would you believe it I am INCREDIBLY competitive with my older brother, but we've grown out of the worst of it now. He's a top guy.

OP posts:
Rindercella · 08/01/2010 17:37

Sorry, but I think YABU.

I really don't think that what G does is really any concern of yours. You worked hard and got rewarded for it with promotion and a pay rise - fantastic, congratulations & well done you - particularly in the current climate when marketing tends to be one of the first cuts organisations make.

Who really cares what happens to a colleague? His promotion has no relevance to you or your performance.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 08/01/2010 17:38

With the greatest of respect, you sound a teensy bit arrogant about your skills yourself. Well done on your promotion, but maybe be gracious enough to realise that others may have skills that you don't, which are valued by your employer equally to yours.

If you are as talented and hard working as you say you are, you'll go far. As long as you don't worry too much about what others are doing.

mummysgoingmad · 08/01/2010 17:38

what a shiity thing to happen! but as you said you a uber competitve so what i would do is do everything they expect of you and more, after a while they'l hopefully realise that he's not pulling his weight and maybe demote of fire him. If he's doing a shoddy job just now hopefully he'l be useless in a bigger role!

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 08/01/2010 17:40

Why is it shitty?

Undertone · 08/01/2010 17:42

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 - yes. But if they're seeing me as his equal (as is proven by their decision), and if they decide they have too many account managers later this year we'll both be up for consideration... I am lucky to have a job, but I was working so hard to prove I was valuable to the company.

OP posts:
Rindercella · 08/01/2010 17:44

If that's your reasoning Undertone, that you might be up for redundancy along with G, then you should think yourself lucky that they promoted him instead of bringing in an experienced hire. Otherwise, you may have found yourself to be the weaker of the two, rather than the stronger

Always look on the bright side of life

abitchilly · 08/01/2010 17:46

God I really hate it when people see an opportunity to come on threads like these and give the OP a kicking.

I can understand why you're upset, I would be too.

It IS your business if performance reviews within the company are not seen to be fair. If the processes leading up to promotions and appointments are not transparent then it's going to lead to resentment and morale problems.

Don't blame you. You couldn't help your initial reaction (and I think it's no bad thing the lack of equity was brought to your line manager's attention - even if unintentionally). Your subsequent plan is very mature and it doesn't strike me that you need to grow up.

But then I guess this is AIBU...

Undertone · 08/01/2010 17:46

Rindercella - I'll whistle that tune on the way to the pub now.

OP posts:
weddingdilemma · 08/01/2010 17:46

such is life. There are always jokers who seem to land on their feet, annoying but doesn't really affect you at this point!

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 08/01/2010 17:47

That is life, OP.