To expect a 4yr old and 2.5 yr old to keep bedroom reasonably tidy?

[BusyMummyof3]

arrgh.....their room is a tip. My DD's share a room and it is so messy and I'm thoroughly fed up picking up their toys and clothes after them.

Just walked in and all the drawers are open with clothes all over the floor, duvet on floor and toys everywhere. They have toy boxes in there so there are places for toys to go. Yesterday, they finally tidied up after I lost my temper and gathered up all the toys on the floor and said they were going in the bin!

AIBU to expect them to keep it fairly tidy at such a young age?

YABVU.
Tidy up with them if you want them to learn how to tidy to your standards.

YABU to expect them to use their own initiative but YANBU to expect them to help you tidy it up at the end of the day. Part of being a kid is making a mess but learning to tidy it up again is an invaluable life skill

YABU. Not that you won't know this by now.

I really recommend the tidying as you go and not getting more stuff out until things are clearer method. Done throughout the day it makes toys more fun to play with and the house tolerable to live in. Whether or not it'll teach longer-term lessons I don't know. But then I don't have to tidy the questionable looking pit that is ds2's bedroom nowadays.

My dds share and they are 3 and 8. I have put their beds in the middle (dd2's little bed fitting under dd1's mid sleeper) and the room is divided in two. DD1 is in charge of her side and it is usually a hideous mess of kicked off clothes (dirty pants everywhere aaaarrghh!!), little toys, books and games. I have tried for years to instil some sort of pride in her surroundings but nothing works!
I have told her that unless she keeps it reasonable, ie I can walk across the floor to open the curtains, I shall draw a line down the middle and just redecorate dd2's side in the nice new fairy wallpaper!

If anyone knows how to fix this, please help, I am 32 and my bedroom is a tip. And the kids' room... shudder And yet I do nothing but flipping tidy and internet

YANBU about the 4 yo, they should know better and are older but YABU about the 2.5 year old, they are still only very young and do not fully understand, well my 2.10 yo does not but i do try and make her pick up things and put them back, and to help ME tidy her room, would not expect her to do it by herself imo.

I have 7 and 3 year old and they will NEVER tidy unless I (a) nag/persuade/threaten them and (b) do it with them. They just don't see the mess. And there is a place for everything ... a box for lego, a box for barbies, box for playmobil etc. It really isn't hard. So yes, YABU (but that doesn't mean you shouldn't expect that they help tidy, just don't expect them to do it off their own back)

yabu my dp's 28 and he cant keep our bedroom tidy!!

My 19 yo, now in university, commented on the messiness of her roommate. Funniest thing I ever heard, coming from her.

Children play in a very fluid way and don't even know when they've finished playing with one thing and moved on to another -- hence the toys out on the floor all the time. Plus, as far as I have observed, they don't really play 'with' anything per se until they get a bit older; most of their play at age 4 and 2.5 involves very loose and unstructured roleplaying, with the toys acting as props, so everything they own might be used and strewn around in the course of a day.

YABU.Ds this young cannot tidy/see the need to tidy independently of adult input. Think back to when you were this age-did you keep your room tidy without help?
My youngest is 4 and she now understands the concept of tidy-up-time, as she does this at nursery. At home I can ask her to help me with small chores, but with MY help. No way would I think shes 4, she should do this independantly.
I would say, that my ds do not take clothes out of drawers/ duvets off of beds-this is something I have said it is not ok to do, from when they are tiny. I explain these things are not play things. Toys-yes they are scattered all round room, even though there is a place for everything. Sigh.

YABU.

If I could get into DS1's room, I would take a photo of the mess to show you how it doesn't get better even when they are 19!

In fact, it gets worse - as they get older, there are piles of cups, plates and glasses abandoned in there with all the dirty, smelly socks!

I find DS2 (2.5yrs) is much tidier... no wonder I don't want him to grow up!

I'm going to go against the grain here, YANBU.

If you teach them to keep everything tidy and have a good storage system (we use Trofast from IKEA) then you can manage to keep them quite tidy. Everything has its own place.

My DS (5) and DD (3) share a room and do make a mess during the day but tidy up with a bit of help before dinner. They much prefer a tidy room and they don't damage toys because they are in boxes. Our house looks really neat and tidy but only because we store all our junk properly! And only because I've learned since leaving home, my family were very messy!

My 2DC can put dirty clothes in the wash basket, clean clothes back in drawers, hang jackets/bags/gloves etc up, tidy toys and put away books/games/dvds where they came from. They don't make beds or hoover although DD would love to, she helps polish surfaces and dry windows with kitchen roll after I've cleaned them.

It is good to teach them how to keep tidy and will be difficult at the start but keep going with it and you'll get results eventually. If they go to nursery or school then they will learn there to tidy away what they are doing before moving on to something else.

You can help them to develop better habits, but it just makes them sad and scared to threaten them with binning their toys. It takes lots and lots of input from parents, years and years of it -- you'll get tired of sounding like a broken record.