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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask someone NOT to take pictures of my kids without asking?

31 replies

whoops · 06/01/2010 16:29

I took my kids out earlier to play in the snow and there was a mother with her son (aged prob about 11ish) and she was getting close to my children while the were playing in the snow and taking pictures of them. If she had asked me and there was a reason, ie she was a photographer for a local paper, I might not have had an issue with it but I had never seen her before and I wasn't particularly happy with her taking direct picture of them.

If they had been in the background of shots she was taking I probably wouldn't have said anything but AIBU to have asked her not to take direct pictures of them?

OP posts:
LadyintheRadiator · 06/01/2010 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hando · 06/01/2010 16:31

Was she taking photos of your children or of her son and your children playing next to him were in the picture.

Why do you say if they were just in the distance you "probably" wouldn't have said anything?

zookeeper · 06/01/2010 16:31

I don't see the harm in it. Relax. YABU

Hulababy · 06/01/2010 16:32

YANBU

Did you challenge her? Her response?

I would have to challenge someone taking photos specifically of my child.

fernie3 · 06/01/2010 16:33

If the children were playing with her children and she was taking photos then YABU as she was probably just enjoying herself. If she just came up and started taking photos of your kids then you could have said no without being unreasonable.

Paolosgirl · 06/01/2010 16:34

Depends. If as Hando says my kids were next to hers and she was taking a photo of them all, then YABU

If she was taking a photo of my kids on their own, then YANBU. I wouldn't want anyone taking photos of me without asking me - why should anyone take photos of my kids?

travellingwilbury · 06/01/2010 16:34

We were out in the snow earlier and someone was taking pics of my boys playing . I actually thought it was lovely that for one someone wasn't being all weirdy and asking permission . They were here visiting family from a different country and hadn't seen snow for many a year .

Did you ask her not to take them ?

GibbonInARibbon · 06/01/2010 16:35

Lady, bad day perchance?

YANBU is you feel strongly about it whoops.

Buddleja · 06/01/2010 16:37

YANBU (as long as you were polite about!!) you didn't feel comfortable with something that involved your children

But saying that a lot of people into photography will take photographs of children and in all honesty they aren't viewing the children as children more subjects for photography (IFKWIM!)

Also on a tangent anyone is perfectly entitled to take a photograph of anybody (without asking first) as long as it is on public property. I discovered this years ago when I was flicking through a national broadsheet and got faced with a picture taking up half a page of my son that I didn't know had been taken and if I hadn't have happened to be looking at that particular paper I wouldn't even know existed

I phoned the paper in question and asked about the legality of it all and was told the above information. (checked it out too - it's fact) Even so it felt wrong that I wasn't asked first

SpookyMadMummy · 06/01/2010 16:40

I am with you, Whoops. I would not like anyone taking close pictures of my children without permission. Especially if I am in the vicinity. YANBU.

Original poster
whoops · 06/01/2010 16:41

No my kids were running down the hill and her son was stood next to her.

I was taking pictures of my children and there were other children in the background but she was taking pictures specifically of my children

I did ask her not to take pictures of my children without asking me and she kind of shrugged & I walked off! I was hoping it would make her think before she started taking them of other people's children

Oh How I love mumsnet

OP posts:
cornsilkscatholichamster · 06/01/2010 16:50

Buddleja - why was your son in the paper then?

whoops - YANBU. Good manners to ask anyway. Also apparently there are issues involved with children who are adopted/in care in case pics end up on the internet.

lockets · 06/01/2010 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

madamearcati · 06/01/2010 16:59

YANBU to wonder ,but I don't know what you can do about it.She would have had to have parental permission if she wanted to publish them but otherwise in a public place she can do as she likes.
Budleija- I don't think that is true.When my My DS1 has done modelling shoots in a public playground (with council permission) and they have always been careful to not show the face of any other children who might be there

Buddleja · 06/01/2010 17:00

cornsilkscatholichamster it was an article to do with the weather (the fact it had rained all summer) - he was taken because he had a brightly coloured little umbrella and brightly coloured waterproofs on (and it was pouring). This is the reason I was told when I phoned the paper to enquire. It's now on their website!!!!

Ivykaty44 · 06/01/2010 17:02

YABU

Hulababy · 06/01/2010 17:03

cornsilkscatholichamster - good point re. vuneerab;e children.

This woman did not know the children, nor say what the phtos were for. She should have asked. For some children this could be a real issue - children who are, in effect, "in hiding" from people for various reasons. Often locations are easily indetifible and it could out a child at risk.

cornsilkscatholichamster · 06/01/2010 17:06

AW Buddleja!

Ivykaty44 · 06/01/2010 17:07

shall I start another thread asking if I was being unreasnable to ask the lady with the children to get her children out of my photographs as they kept cominging into the shoots and were really close to my 11 year old? youn know I was out in the smow taking photogrpahs and didn't want someone elses dc in the shoot

Oh and no she doesn't need parental permission to pulish them...they belong to her and the copyright is the photographers as well and when they die it can be inherited by someone else as well.

nighbynight · 06/01/2010 17:29

YANBU

pigletmania · 06/01/2010 17:47

YANBU if this lady was specifically taking pictures of your kids, but vvvvvvvvvvvU if they might have been in the background and she was taking pictures of her own dcs. Its people like you that create this climate of fear about paedophiles. When i first went swimming with my dc i was taking pictures of her and was asked to stop even though it was her that i was taking, it was her first time swimming fgs and wanted to capture this moment forever.

MrsNarcissist · 06/01/2010 17:49

I think it is an invasion of your privacy, same as if she was taking a picture of you. I don't think this is a child protection issue, but common decency.

Ivykaty44 · 06/01/2010 18:41

putsit all into perspective

LynetteScavo · 06/01/2010 18:47

YANBU - she should have asked you...only good manners, and also for the reasons Cornsilk mentioned.

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 06/01/2010 18:52

Yanbu.

And fwiw not a "fucking stupid question".

Can't see what you have posted to warrant such a crude response. Sometimes it pays to pause and think before posting Lady cos to me at least you've just made yourself look incredibly immature and silly.