to ban MIL's new rescued Rottweiler from the house?

[PaddlingMadly]

MIL and SIL came to stay with 5yr old Rottweier bitch from rescue centre, she'd been abandoned.

I have DD and DS both under 3, the dog growled at them a few times then properly snapped (but not an actual bite) after DD toddled too close on her way past. I whacked dog and got very cool treatment from MIL as a result. I now insist dog not welcome in our house.

MIL thinks dog's just "a bit grumpy" and I overreacted. Bearing in mind I am a long term dog owner, have an MSc in Animal Behaviour, will forgive dogs most things, (but not this) can anyone reassure me I'm not just another neurotic mum?! How on earth can I get MIL to understand?

Very odd. They haven't been called NCDL for years.

NCDL? Surely its been the Dogs Trust for eons now?

What do you intend to do when you visit MIL with your DCs, Paddling?

She's in her 70's, perhaps she used the old word?!? I wasn't with her and don't live anywhere near so can only go on what I was told, no matter how odd!

I don't have time to read more than your first post, but I would not let my DC anywhere near the dog. Supervised or not. How much more do we have to hear about dogs and children to understand that there is always a danger.

Wrestling with that one myself. Earlier posts have good suggestions. But will have to assert myself and it will be hard to finesse .

My instinct would not be to hit a growling Rottie!

A friend, who has small children, last year re-homed her Rottie who was just uncontrollable, not aggressive but completely la-la, haring round the house, leaping furniture and trying to bounce into laps, not good if you're three yrs old and dog sends you flying every few minutes. Friends were reluctant to visit. She and hb were experienced Rottie and other large dog owners, had automatically replaced the last Rottie that died of old age, but in hindsight she says, "What was I thinking?"

Personally, would never have the breed around young children, unfair to both dog and children really, responsible dog owners would have to be forever watchful, not sure if that's possible? With a rescue dog showing wariness/aggression to children surely it's just logic that the two never come together, ever.

Perhaps its a blessing that she doesn't live near you so you aren't obliged to visit her regularly with your DC. Its one thing to lay down rules or bar the dog from your own home, another thing altogether to do so in MILs house, no matter how reasonable your concerns.

i am afraid to say that i wholy disagree with the dogs trust policy of never putting down a healthy dog - i went there when i was looking for my dog (our rottie had just died) and there was the most beautiful rotweiller there - i enquired about him and was told by a very patronising rehomer "oh, he is one of our dangerous dogs, he wont be suitable" the woman knew nothing about me as i hadnt completed a questionairre! Anyway, i had actually heard about this dog from a friend (it was her friend who rehomed him there - the dog was MENTAL, chewed and ate everything in sight, including beer glasses!!) Anyway, just before i was pregnant with DD (unplanned)we went back to dogs trust as we wanted a second dog - this was about two YEARS later - that poor fucking dog was STILL THERE! I was devestated, he had lost loads of wait due to kennel stress - he just continually walked around in circles and was clearly distressed. Yet they still kept him - That dog had the chance to come home with me two years previous , i have extensive experience with dogs and would have been prepared to give him a chance at least - i left there in floods of tears. It still upsets me to think about it, he was a magnificent looking dog when we first saw him and only 18m old so he had a chance.

So completely that they rehomed this dog with your MIL.

I love rotties, but in all honesty, they are not a dog i would trust with children out of the immediate household and a rescue dog with unknown history - never.

Thanks Vallhala. Some superb advice and support from you and others on MN but thrown up questions too - why so evasive re dog's origins? Am glad people care. Advice duly taken. Cheers.

YANBU, and I think your instinct to whack is completely understandable

lol at your friends rottie heated - this was what our rescue lad was like - he would just run in circles growling (rotties do like to "talk") until he collapsed in a heap - he was crrraaaazzyyyy. he had some other issues to - we think that whoever abandoned him thought it was great fun to play fight etc with him when he was a puppy and then got shot of him when they couldn't cope with ten stone hairing around their house at full pelt!

YANBUX1000000 do not have that dog anywhere near your dcs or in your house. Your dcs are the most precious things in the world yoru MIL can have someone else to look after it.

whatever the dog breed, if it has growled at your children i wouldn't have it near them again, you never know what will happen or what mood it is in.

my mil has a westie that snapped at my ds's face as he tried to climb onto grandmas lap. she went mad when i said i wanted the dog out of the way when we visited. i put my foot down though and eventually she did it, albeit stroppy about it. you cant take a risk when its your children.

my only experience with rottweilers is that i was bit by one 1 hour after a friend picked it up.i was stroking it and it just lunged at me when i went to get up, it bit right through my leather jacket and ive still got scars on my chest.it went mental for no reason and then started attacking other people too.

any rescue dog that is not rehomed as a puppy needs constant montioring, no one can know the past in full and what does and doesnt provoke a reaction from it.even a dog you have had all your life can react aggressivly towards a child and needs to be watched in my opinion. it only takes a few seconds for disaster to happen.

your mil should put the dog out of the way when you visit if that is your request and not bring it into your house.she should respect your decision. good luck.

Lucy you and I must agree to differ there. I am very pro no-kill policies although I agree with you that the Rottie you met deserved a chance, as did you, as you know your Rottie "stuff".

One of those in my local rescue is there for life - he is a GSD, and not suitable for rehoming, a soppy date with the rescue owner but not to be trusted with others (you just can't get near him, he has no trust with and reacts very badly to strangers).

However in the rescue he has love, warmth, food, play, exercise, the copanionship of the rescue owner and canine friends (something which is a shock to us all, it took time to get him to trust other dogs too). Perhaps he's lucky that this is an independent, small rescue, where they have more time and commitment than the DT? I don't know... I'm just glad he is still alive, albeit that he will never be on a sofa in a house as my 2 dogs are tonight.

Paddling, as you've gathered, I'm very pro dog, but I still maintain that until your MIL has got on top of this issue YANBU in saying that the dog isn't welcome - MIL can put in a routine and training programme and the Rottie will hopefully find her place in the home, her safe space to escape family life and discover that there is no need to bare teeth to safeguard herself (as my own previously abused dog has here with me and my DC). To come to your house where everything, rooms, safe space, people, rules, are different, is clearly not an option.

Have I missed something, but where is your Dh in this. Can't he have a word with MIL. She might take it better from him

Valhalla - that was a fab and constructive post. I have two rescues who are brilliant tolerant loving dogs. one we got as a 5month pup and is dependable/reliable/trustworthy. the other as an 18month old with no background. since we have had kids the 2nd dog loves the outside but doesnt like noise. she is happy to stay out of the way in the kitchen behind a baby gate. she has never showed aggression but does show fear. However we did have 3 dogs prior to DS1 being born and the 3rd dog was terrified of children and DH made the sad decision to rehome his beloved dog as he couldnt honestly say he trusted her 110%. she was unpredictable.

I think the whole key to experience dog ownership is remaining in control and OPs MIL clearly isnt despite her affirmation of years of experience. I really dont understand why the dog and child were meeting in such circumstances for the 1st time where either could be cornered and/or afraid.

Having read that you weren't there when the dog growled, then itis your MIl's judgement as serious fault, and I wonder if she is the right person for this dog. It is sensible to keep your children seperate fromt he dog at least until the issue is properly resolved, although your MIl's relcutance to give the full history of the dog is worrying and makes me wonder if she won't bother to sort things out.

What really upsets me is the way people view dogs and the replies some peopel have given. It is no suprise there are so many dog bites int eh Uk. Growling is not a sign of aggression, it is merely a way of communicating for the dog. A way of saying it doesn't like something. What is the dog supposed to do?! Blink it's eyes three times? Or are dogs supposed to just like and be comfortable with any situation we put them in? It is dogs that don't growl (most often as they have been told off or punished for growling) that are dangerous, as these will bite ;without warning' as the body language a dog uses to say it isn't happy with something is usually too subtle for most humans to notice.

I think your MIL has more serious behavioural issues than the dog, tbh.

i know what you are saying valhallah, and that shepherd sounds like he has adapted to his life well, some dogs don't live in houses and they are dogs after all, i dont have a problem with that. But when a dog is showing clear signs of kennel stress and with no improvement it is not kind to keep that animal alive. The dog that we eventually rehomed from battersea was begining to show signs of kennel stress and his behaviour deteriorating, they basically said to us once we agreed to take him that we were his last chance as he was not doing well in kennels. But there has to come a time when enough is enough - like you say, some dogs will do ok in that environment, others wont. Im not saying that all dog should be put to sleep if they dont get homed or they are "unhomable" but if they are distressed in kennels then their quality of life is compromised.

Its a hard call Lucy and not one I'd ever want to make. I guess I'm lucky insofar as I work closely only with no-kill rescues and that the one I literally "work" for (ie get my hands dirty) is a small one which can deal with and prevent such problems, albeit that this means that the owners work a minimum of an 18 hour day, 365 days a year.

you do give some good advice there valhallah btw. its not fair on the dog actually to inflict the children upon it - its not something she is used to. Definately insist that when you visit that the dog is locked away as even with supervision, i defy anyone to be able to stop a rotweiller that is hell bent on biting, they are heavy and STRONG and have a cast iron will. I love them, they are my favourite breed of dog but i have a healthy respect for them too.

Saying that - 95% of the rotties I have met have been big daft teddy bears

It is heartening to know that there are people who are so dedicated to dog welfare valhalla There are ways of avoiding the long term kenneling situation - i have worked with a rescue who rehome through managing foster carers and linking up potential owners with dogs needing a home. This woman has taken on some real basket cases and found them good homes.

Lol Lucy, I think that you might agree with me that equally we have to be basket cases to do what we do!!!!

The rescue I get my hands dirty for* are more than happy to work with foster carers. The problem is that suitable ones are hard to come by as I'm sure you know.

(* I also do "network rescuing" - ie getting dogs across the country out of pounds and finding them rescue spaces before they're PTS, likewise dogs whose owners don't want them/can't keep them).

what i did now im afraid, i dont work with dogs anymore, i dont half miss it

I have actually heard that the Dogs Trust don't actually have such a strong 'no kill' policy as people think, from someone who worked for them. Apparently, their version of 'healthy' isn't everyones...