Best age for Baptism

[Fibilou]

This probably shouldn't be in here but I would like some opinions. We're Christian so will be getting baby baptised; I don't really see the point in waiting to have it done (as part of the point of baptism is welcoming them in to the Church family so surely you would want it done earlier..) and would like to have it done when she is around 3-4 months old. DH won't countenance doing it before 6 months. So we seem to have reached an unexpected impasse over this.

There is no way I would not have her baptised so this is not an option, but I would be interested to know people's thoughts and experiences to see if I am being unreasonable for not wanting to budge from an early baptism.

I think any age is great. Mine were all around 5-6 months. Takes a while to sort the date with the vic and the godparents etc.

How old is dd now btw?

Oh. From the title I thought you meant 'as a child' versus 'old enough to make up own mind'.

What difference does 3 months/6 months make?

I got my DDs dedicated just before their 2nd birthday as that's when all the family (some from the US) could get together. We did it this way (i.e. dedication, rather than christening/baptism) so that they can decide for themselves when they are older whether they want to be baptised.

As soon as possible, some Catholic schools in London are so oversubscribed that they are taking the date of the baptism into consideration.

Anything after six months is late baptism. IIRC

The younger the better in my opinion. DD was around 9 months old as it took that long to convince DH to agree to it. DS was 4 months old

Hi Fib and congrats on your dd.

I'm not sure how to phrase this without it sounding confrontational, which it really isn't, but when you say that "We're Christian so will be getting baby baptised;" the two aren't really connected.

A Baptist would only have a child dedicated as a baby and then they would choose to have a baptism when they are older.

I'm C of E and have had all my three baptised as babies, but after spending some time in a Baptist church and studying about this decided that if I had another this would be the route that I would go down. It's only tradition that makes certain denominations of the Christian churches choose infant baptism, ther isn't actally a biblical reason behind it.

What is his reasoning for leaving it till 6 months? And what's yours for "3-4 months"? I've never heard of anything specific as being a better age than "as soon as can be conveniently arranged" if you're going to do it as a baby.

I'd say you're better off getting it done sooner, as baby will be less uncomfortable about being handed to a stranger - by 6 months (from what I recall of babies...) they can be a bit more "put out" by strangers holding them.

DS was baptised at about 2 months, because that was convenient for getting family together. If we hadn't had that reason, he'd have been baptised as soon as I was back going to church, which was based largely on the level of discomfort on hard pews...

But from a theological point of view, you don't need to get the baby baptised asap, or at all, as he/she is as much part of God's family either way.

What E45 said re the schools - it is getting a bit silly now. from that POV the sooner the better.

Everything else aside, and having just had my 2 baptised as a job lot (nearly 6m and 2.5yr) i did feel a bit of an arse lifting a huge toddler onto the font. Just didn't get around to it earlier for various reasons.

I also think that very small babies are easier/sleepier/don't cry so loudly etc so it's easier from that POV especially if you are at a church like ours which isn't actually that tolerant of children, no matter what their blurb may claim.

I now wish I had had DD1 baptised as soon as poss and same for DD2.

Lilibet, all I meant was that as we are a Christian household not having a baptism wasn't an option, so there was no point in people posting "why bother" ?

Sorry, should have said baby is due in 2 weeks. I mentioned the christening in passing today to DH and this came up.

It's not for a theological reason particularly, I just wanted to do it when she was little

We had a thanksgiving blessing at 5 months old. Most christenings I have been to have tended to take place around the 4 month mark although I have noticed a trend in older children being baptised which I am sure is connected with school places.

Traditionally baptisms would take place before the childs first birthday and Easter time used to be the most popular time for baptisms. I have no idea how I know that but for some reason it is stuck in my brain!

I think you'll need to find out why 6 months is a cut-off from your husband's point of view - leaving it till he/she was old enough to make an active choice I would understand, but the difference between one "infant" age and another doesn't seem that relevant.

He must have some reason for feeling it matters - you'll need to try to get him to explain what the reason is, then see whether you agree.

Also, and please don't laugh here, but I really love spring and have a picture of a spring Christening in my mind with daffodils etc.

Also I am a cake decorator/pastry chef by trade (now do something less interesting) and want to get most of the decorations for the cake done while I am on maternity before baby comes - and I'm not sure they would look as good by September. That really does sound like the most ridiculous reason, I know !

Why does your DH want to wait though? i don't understand why he thinks a min 6 months - that's not the norm, where does this idea come from?

I don't understand his POV TBH.

I will try and find out later ISNT. I was wondering if it was me that had the odd opinion and that it was quite normal to wait 6 months

We had DS in September and then wanted to wait until after Xmas to organise the christening so we didn't end up doing it until the weekend after Easter last year so DS was one day shy of 7 months.

I felt that it was a bit late and would definitely try to do it earlier with future LOs. If nothing else, he was quite heavy by then and it hurt my arms holding him at the font through the ceremony!!

I was baptized as an adult. My ds 2 and my dd 6 months. My ds was late because i decided to get baptized myself and spent some time preparing. It is up to you. I know some babies baptized at a wee old, othere a few months, i know teens and adults who have been baptized too. Just whenever you feel it the right time.

It seems a bit arbitrary, the 6 months!

Spring christening sounds lovely and due in 2 weeks, how exciting! Hope you aren't feeling too worn out.

Remember it also depends on how busy the church is. Ds was born in August and we met with the vicar when he was a week old to arrange the thanksgiving blessing, I was very surprised to be told that the earliest he could fit us was the end of January and if we didn't want January or February we would have had to wait until the following September!

I feel great. Feel v bad for SIL who is due in early Feb and having a rotten time. I think I have got the "good pregnancy" for both of us

We had DS christened at 3months. It was mainly because his godmother was going away, but I wanted to get him `done' sooner rather than later. Definitely while he was still a hold in your arms baby. I think a springtime christening would be lovely!

Glad you're enjoying it!

Ask your DH why 6 months and come back and tell us!

My two were baptised at approx 6wks. My mum is Irish and she is of the thought that babies shouldn't be out till they are baptised! Old wives tales! She would have preferred it done when they were a few weeks old- like I would have so much time to organise it post birth!

DD was six months as that is when we got around to organising it.