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Original poster

Best age for Baptism

80 replies

Fibilou · 04/01/2010 14:37

This probably shouldn't be in here but I would like some opinions. We're Christian so will be getting baby baptised; I don't really see the point in waiting to have it done (as part of the point of baptism is welcoming them in to the Church family so surely you would want it done earlier..) and would like to have it done when she is around 3-4 months old. DH won't countenance doing it before 6 months. So we seem to have reached an unexpected impasse over this.

There is no way I would not have her baptised so this is not an option, but I would be interested to know people's thoughts and experiences to see if I am being unreasonable for not wanting to budge from an early baptism.

OP posts:
Awassailinglookingforanswers · 04/01/2010 23:16

mumof2boys..............that's ok - my vicar had to chase DS3 around the church at his baptism as he wouldn't stay in my arms, and when I put him down ran off to investigate the chalice that was laid out ready to be taken up for communion later in the service

claw3 · 04/01/2010 23:28

I was about 9 years old when i was baptised and felt like a right lemon leaning my head over the font.

Dont wait too long!

MadamDeathstare · 04/01/2010 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Fibilou · 05/01/2010 09:36

Thankyou for everyone that posted - I think we will bring this up again when baby is actually here. I am going to explain my reasons, no matter how silly they sound. But I suppose it really wouldn't be the end of the world if we waited a bit - I will just make DH buy a new christening robe

OP posts:
TiggyR · 05/01/2010 11:22

If the child is being baptisted before it is old enough to form an opinion or choose for itself then it really is irrelevant whether it's 3 months six month or three years!

FlyingReindeer · 05/01/2010 11:38

Fibilou - a thread after my own heart. I am due in about four weeks and DH and I have been having this discussion, although I keep ending it as I don't want to discuss it too much. The problem for us is that everyone will have to travel so we need to to give them a bit of notice but I don't want to wait too long and Christening gowns also play a part.

Is there really no religious need to do it earlier - I don't want to put it off too long? I am Church of Ireland, DH is RC although lapsed and has embraced CofI a bit more and is happier for babe to be baptised CofI.

I don't want to hijack your thread but I have a question too - are there any 'rules' on the denomination or religion of godparents, and do they themselves have to have been baptised?

WinterWonderland · 05/01/2010 12:11

Within the first 3 months I think. Always nicer to see a proper tiny baby being baptised rather than a great lumping child in a sailor suit! I think if it really matters to you, then why would you wait? It's also a lovely way to properly introduce your baby to everyone while they're still relatively new-born and novel.

When I and my sisters were born, we were each baptised within a month - it was just the way back then. But it was a bit much for my poor Mum who had to entertain a host of family and friends afterwards, whilst still nursing her stitches!

WinterWonderland · 05/01/2010 12:14

FlyingReindeer I do know that in the Catholic church only one godparent needs to be a baptised Catholic. I presume it's the same in an Anglican church but you will find the answer to this very easily somewhere on the web.

JumpJockey · 05/01/2010 12:26

We had DD baptised at 7 weeks, we felt that as it's a sacrament and both welcomes her into the church family and gives her into God's special care, why would we wait any longer?

lovechoc · 05/01/2010 13:34

to give them a chance to decide for themselves, JumpJockey. If you are confident they'll follow in your chosen faith then they'll probably be happy to wait and have a better understanding later on in life.

What's the rush?? this is what I don't get. I've nothing against baptism but I do think people just jump on the bandwagon and because so and so does it means we have to do it mentality is quite common.

RockBird · 05/01/2010 14:01

The rush is that it's traditional to baptise babies. I think saying that people are just jumping on the bandwagon is quite offensive actually. If you've read this thread properly you'll see that many people on here are Christian/Catholic and it's part of their religion to baptise their child. How is that jumping on a bandwagon?

Lotster · 05/01/2010 14:16

My MIL (Catholic) had all 7 (!) baptised in the first fortnight - most without her there as it was tradition for father/family to take them whie mum rested up.

I had my children baptised last summer aged nearly 3 and 5 months. IMO both were at good stages, my little boy was old enough to stand still a little while (although he mainly sat in the front pew and just came up for his little bit which was good in hindsight) and the my baby girl was young enough to be sleepy for some of it/not too wriggly.

I am aware that my son was considered to be a very late baptism for the school I'm applying for though, so agree earlier the better if you plan a church school at all/ Even if you don't then hedge your bets..

When it suits you and the family is the most important factor though, and if you want a Spring or Summer Christening for catering/chilren playing outside/nice photo reasons, then why not remind OH what you've recently been through to produce this little bundle?!!

Original poster
Fibilou · 05/01/2010 14:20

Lovechoc, I specifically said that "not baptising was not an option" as the point of this thread was not to discuss whether children should be baptised, simply whether there is an optimum time to do so. Furthermore your argument that the child should be allowed to choose later in life is not really valid - because they do choose this at around the age of 13, it's called confirmation. This is when the young adult chooses to become a full member of the church

OP posts:
shockers · 05/01/2010 14:21

We had a welcoming/dedication ceremony for them both at about 2 but baptism is something I would like them to choose for themselves. DS has been asking recently, he is 9.

Original poster
Fibilou · 05/01/2010 14:21

"then why not remind OH what you've recently been through to produce this little bundle?!!"

Lotser, that's by far and away the best argument I've heard so far...

OP posts:
shockers · 05/01/2010 14:24

Baptism according to the Bible is choosing to be obedient to God. Jesus was about 30 I think.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 05/01/2010 14:26

I'm sure he got baptised quite some time before he died..........and he was 30 when he died they reckon

madrose · 05/01/2010 14:27

mine dd was 5 months, mainly because we had to do a course - and that was the only date available, i was still on maternity leave and it was the summer holidays. It was also an opportunity for the rest of the family to meet her.

PurpleEglu · 05/01/2010 14:33

Fibilou, did your DH come up with a reason as to why he wanted to wait so long

shockers · 05/01/2010 14:33

I shall ask my FIL who is a pastor

shockers · 05/01/2010 14:37

He reckons that he was around 33 when he died and had been in ministry for around 3 years. He was baptised, received the power of the Holy Spirit and began performimg miracles.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 05/01/2010 14:38

shockers - but then you have the disaprity between the Baptists and many of the non-denominational churches who don't baptise children, and the others that do........but irrc many of those that have adult only baptism don't tend to have "confirmation" as well do they?

flyingcloud · 05/01/2010 14:38

Just to answer my own question - in the anglican church godparents have to be baptised christian and preferably confirmed as well and they recommend at least three (two the same sex as baby).

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 05/01/2010 14:43

but it is only a recommendation,

DS1 has one godparent (my brother)
DS2 has 3 godparents (one who I loathe - but that's a whole other thread ) a former family (female friend) and H and I are also his godparents
DS3 has 3 godparents - 2 females, 1 male.

hormonalmum · 05/01/2010 14:47

dd was 5 months (and I was christened too at the same time - I was 30)
ds was 5 months