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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want my own towel?

48 replies

ShutUpandDrinkYourGin · 04/01/2010 11:52

This is my first AIBU so please be kind... ah who am I kidding? do your worst...

This is not really a big problem and has been resolved (from my point of view) but DP thinks I'm being terribly precious.

DP has two younger brothers, one on gap year, one at sixth form, who both live at home with both his parents. They have five or six towels in the bathroom, all exactly the same, which they all share, and DP does too when he stays. We've been together for six years, and until recently I had always been given my own towel (or had one with me). When we stayed for a few days between Christmas and NY, however, none materialised (NO ONE is allowed in the airing cupboard except MIL), and when I asked DP's parents they said 'oh you're one of the family now, you can share ours'. Very sweet of them to say that, and not wanting to be difficult, i did use a towel on that first occasion, but felt a bit funny about sharing towels with five other people (have no prob sharing with DP, but a bit weird about the rest of his (admittedly very nice) family) - and the towels were a few days old and are used as hand-drying towels as well. At home and at my parents' everyone has their own towels.

Later that day i went to the supermarket for his parents, and i put a cheap towel in the trolley and used that for the rest of the stay, took it home with me and washed it myself. I said nothing to his parents, didn't create any more work for anyone else and will always bring my own towel in future. Not a problem - no need to make a fuss about it. Dp says i'm being terribly precious and silly about it and should just get on with using the available towels. Me, I think i've resolved something that was a small problem for me alone very simply and there is no need to make a big deal about it. We haven't had a big argument about it or anything but i do object to being called precious and silly under the circs - so am I?

OP posts:
LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 04/01/2010 11:54

YANBU. That's weird not dealbreaker weird just weird.

coldtits · 04/01/2010 11:55

I don't think you're being precious. I wouldn;'t want to share towels with 5 other people.

ninedragons · 04/01/2010 11:56

You are not being precious. Sharing towels is disgusting.

nickelbabyjesus · 04/01/2010 11:56

YANBU.

that's just a bit gross.

msrisotto · 04/01/2010 11:57

I wouldn't share towels! Wrong, sick and wrong!

Mermaidspam · 04/01/2010 11:58

Ew

YANBU

MamaLazarou · 04/01/2010 11:58

Of course you don't want to share communal towels with 5 other people! Why would you want to dry your face on something someone has potentially just rubbed their arse/bollocks/whatever on? IMO, you dealt with the situation calmly and practically, and your DP is being a bit weird about it. YANBU

2010aQuintessentialOdyssey · 04/01/2010 11:58

how odd!?

What is the point of one towel each, if they are shared by all?

Why not just ONE towel, ONE fresh towel a day?

Imagine drying your face where somebody else have dryed their bottom. Euuuu!

2010aQuintessentialOdyssey · 04/01/2010 11:58

great minds think alike, eh madame?

ShutUpandDrinkYourGin · 04/01/2010 11:59

oh good I'm pleased other people can see the ick factor

they're not dirty people iyswim, I just want my own towel

def not dealbreaker - they are lovely in lots of other ways (as is DP of course, despite his strange towel upbringing)

OP posts:
PavlovtheCat · 04/01/2010 11:59

OMG you are so not being precious! Why on earth would you want to share a towel with anyone else, let alone 5 others! That is a bit gross tbh.

I don't like sharing a towel with DH even. I do occasionally if I need one and mine is not to hand (he does not care and uses mine all the time however). I cold deal with it if i had to, but not with that many people.

I think the solution you have is fine, not causing offense by spurning what they obviously consider to be a privalege and an acceptance into the family (all families have their little quirks don't they?)

mumeeee · 04/01/2010 11:59

If the towels were clean I wouldn't have a problem for a couple of days. But I can see your point.

ShutUpandDrinkYourGin · 04/01/2010 12:00

to be fair to him, he's not going on about it, just mentioned it a couple of times

OP posts:
TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 04/01/2010 12:01

Ooooo what's MIL got in airing cupboard? I suspect a previous DIL who has died of towel-sharing-itis.

I hope none of them have verucas, athletes foot, crabs, whatever. Bit gross, take your own next time.

ShutUpandDrinkYourGin · 04/01/2010 12:04

god knows about the airing cupboard - for a woman who's lackadaisical about towel hygiene, she's anal about her airing cupboard system and no one touching anything

good point about only one towel per day - I never thought of that. Perhaps they don't do that because they don't want to have to use a sopping wet towel after someone else has just used it - THERE IS A MESSAGE HERE PEOPLE!

OP posts:
HappyBump · 04/01/2010 12:12

I think you had a good solution. Well done for not saying anything. I think YANBU.

I don't particularly like sharing towels, especially when there is no need.

Pineapplechunks · 04/01/2010 12:15

YADNU.

DP and I have this discussion. I have my towel, DD has her towel, there is a towel for drying hands on so DP should also have his own towel, right? But he thinks nothing of using my towel and will never, ever get himself his own one before he goes for a bath, it irks me.

As for using a towel that, potentially, 5(!) people have already used and then expecting them to use it after I have too, I couldn't bear it.

OP, you dealt with the situation beautifully, ignore your DP.

mumeeee · 04/01/2010 12:17

Just in case you were wondering. I do provide my guests with thier own towels. We have hand towels and bath towels in our bathroom.

Laquitar · 04/01/2010 12:18

YANBU

I rather not have shower at all than share the towels!

2rebecca · 04/01/2010 12:21

We share towels at my parents and at home. I have to be reminded to get friends staying with us individual towels.
A towel lasts a few days as well.

Bettymum · 04/01/2010 12:22

Ewww, YADNBU. My skin is crawling just thinking about sharing a towel with DH's brother. I would rather clean myself with wetwipes for a week.
I think you handled it well and your solution was a good one, calm and polite.

StayFrosty · 04/01/2010 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyNameIsInigoMontoya · 04/01/2010 12:30

Ew! I'm sure you can catch things from other people's damp towels... sure you are meant to be careful with things like ringworm, athlete's foot etc! Quite apart from having to think about where they've been, them being all wet etc....

Makipuppy · 04/01/2010 12:31

I wouldn't even share a bathroom with DP let alone a towel.

beyondfurious · 04/01/2010 12:32

that's beyond disgusting

who wants to rub someone-elses-arse-towel on your face