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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want my own towel?

48 replies

ShutUpandDrinkYourGin · 04/01/2010 11:52

This is my first AIBU so please be kind... ah who am I kidding? do your worst...

This is not really a big problem and has been resolved (from my point of view) but DP thinks I'm being terribly precious.

DP has two younger brothers, one on gap year, one at sixth form, who both live at home with both his parents. They have five or six towels in the bathroom, all exactly the same, which they all share, and DP does too when he stays. We've been together for six years, and until recently I had always been given my own towel (or had one with me). When we stayed for a few days between Christmas and NY, however, none materialised (NO ONE is allowed in the airing cupboard except MIL), and when I asked DP's parents they said 'oh you're one of the family now, you can share ours'. Very sweet of them to say that, and not wanting to be difficult, i did use a towel on that first occasion, but felt a bit funny about sharing towels with five other people (have no prob sharing with DP, but a bit weird about the rest of his (admittedly very nice) family) - and the towels were a few days old and are used as hand-drying towels as well. At home and at my parents' everyone has their own towels.

Later that day i went to the supermarket for his parents, and i put a cheap towel in the trolley and used that for the rest of the stay, took it home with me and washed it myself. I said nothing to his parents, didn't create any more work for anyone else and will always bring my own towel in future. Not a problem - no need to make a fuss about it. Dp says i'm being terribly precious and silly about it and should just get on with using the available towels. Me, I think i've resolved something that was a small problem for me alone very simply and there is no need to make a big deal about it. We haven't had a big argument about it or anything but i do object to being called precious and silly under the circs - so am I?

OP posts:
MamaLazarou · 04/01/2010 12:34

Maybe she has a cat living in her airing cupboard: I have one in mine, and I shut the door when people come round as I'm a bit embarrassed about it (I do always keep the same hairy towels at the top of the pile, though, to protect all the others).

kingprawntikka · 04/01/2010 12:35

It is totally reasonable to want your own towel, can't imagine anyone thinking asking you to share was ok!!

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 04/01/2010 12:36

God I've truly never thought about this (I must be a minger)

When I'm at someone elses house, unless the towels (or the people!) seemed dirty I'd assume the towels were fine and just use them. Never occurred to me to picture anyone's bollocks on them whilst getting dry!

As a family we share towels in our house, they get put on the heated towel rail after they've been used once or twice then washed. After all, you rub your clean freshly washed body dry with them, not a shitty arse or anything!

However, YANBU to want your own towel op, it's a small issue and you've resolved it. My mum used to take her own coffee cup and teaspoon everywhere with her too (she was phobic of tea) She did no harm bless her, everyone has their quirks.

Pikelit · 04/01/2010 12:39

I'd not go unwashed for the sake of sharing a towel with people who appear to be clean and I don't think I'd want a domestic over the issue. But I'm rather surprised that "being one of the family" = no towel of your own. I don't go near dp's towel other than to put it in the washing machine and when we had 5 of the "children" staying on Christmas Night they all had their own towels. And I gave birth to two of them! The children that, is.

You (OP) came up with the best solution though. Own towel taken and brought home.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 04/01/2010 12:43

Yuk!!

There is no way I would share a towel with anyone, let alone relative strangers.

We all have different coloured towels, no confusion in this house

Sassybeast · 04/01/2010 12:48

Euuughhhhh - fungal nail infections, skid marks, athletes foot- ewww ewwwww ewwww -sharing towels with your partners teenage brothers ? Are they mad ? YA SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NBU!

FourArms · 04/01/2010 12:53

I like to have a clean towel. DH couldn't care less. So I use a clean towel, hang on a heated rail, and he uses whichever towel comes to hand. I use mine on the DSs too, and then wash them. So usually they'll get used by me, then DH or a DS and then they get washed.

Visitors always get clean towels (and regular visitors know where they are and can get their own ).

There are seperate hands towels in the downstairs loo, but none in the upstairs (I'd just use the towel on the drying rail).

fillybuster · 04/01/2010 13:01

Yuk! YADWNBU....ick, ick, ick.

Shared towels?

Ick.

Have I made my feelings on this clear yet?

JulesJules · 04/01/2010 13:04

Sharing a towel with a load of teenage boys???

YAsoNBU.

Like Doyouthinktheysaurus, we all have our own bath towels in this house, a different colour for each person. It's the only way!

The airing cupboard - aren't you tempted by a midnight raid? Or is it alarmed?

Numberfour · 04/01/2010 13:08

yuck yuck yuck!!!

YAabsobloodylutelyNOTBU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vomit vomit vomit

BratleyGaveInToBaubles · 04/01/2010 13:09

At first I cringed reading the OP, but, then I realised... that sounds like my parents house.

Theres a couple of towels in the bathroom and they seem to be used for everything.
Things have changed since I used to live there!

YANBU, it gave me goosebumps imagining my stepdad getting out of the shower and then sticking his towel back on the towel rail, me going to the loo and then washing my hands and.... ugh... nasty.

Will take a hand towel in my bag in future!

GetOrfMoiLand · 04/01/2010 13:13

No, this would have made me feel itchy. Clean towels all the way here.

SkipHopJump · 04/01/2010 13:13

AAARGHHHH YAsoNBU!!
My DP's family do this and it drives me insane. He has two brothers, one who is younger and relatively clean and one who is older....who isn't lol. Also would be sharing towels with his dad and two male lodgers....just the thought of old man testicles rubbing on them gives me the heebie jeebies. Also I have HSV anyway and I'm sure if they knew that then the idea of sharing a towel with me would give them the heebie jeebies too!

I take my own and leave them in the bathroom to dry, and then his mother takes them straight away and washes them AND KEEPS THEM and when I ask for my towels back she just says.... 'What towels?' All sweetly.

In all other ways I get on with them like a house on fire so I have learnt relinquish my towels haha

Bicnod · 04/01/2010 13:14

Bleurgh. You are YANBU at all. EWwwww.

Morloth · 04/01/2010 13:15

YANBU, we each have a colour here. Sometimes DS nicks mine, because I always remember to put it on the heater, but not a chance I would be sharing with so many others.

What is in the airing cupboard? I would have to be like Bluebeard's wife I think and go and have a peek...

Bicnod · 04/01/2010 13:15

Obviously I meant YANBU at all

Bicnod · 04/01/2010 13:16

Obviously I meant YANBU at all

Bicnod · 04/01/2010 13:16

Oh no. And now I've posted twice.

aJumpedUpPantryBoy · 04/01/2010 13:20

YANBU
I won't even share a towel with DH.

Mind you, last year I had several bouts of very bad impetigo, so I doubt he would have wanted to share one with me

ShutUpandDrinkYourGin · 04/01/2010 13:29

i have seen in the airing cupboard - is just meticulously organised as far as I can tell. it's in their bedroom and I've only been in there once too. If anyone needs anything from there she jumps up and says 'oh no don't worry I'll get it - don't want you messing up my system!'

i'm not really that intrigued about it tbh

she is really lovely in many other ways and spoils me rotten

OP posts:
JustAnotherManicMummy · 04/01/2010 13:37

YABVVVU. That is the lates in eco-chic. I expect they are trimming their cabon-footprint to save the planet.

What's wrong with rubbing a few extra dead skin cells, pubic hairs and other bodily juices onto your nice clean face?

I am also assuming these towels are brown so they don't show the dirt.

roulade · 04/01/2010 13:39

Yuk minging!
We've all got our own hooks on the bathroom door plus one on the rail for hand drying.

sherrytom · 04/01/2010 13:47

YANBU it's horrid- DPs Dad always uses my towel when they come to stay despite me providing them with clean towels in the guest room- I hate it because the towel is soggy when I go to use it after my shower but now I'll also have the image of him drying his arse and balls on it because of this thread

They also leave the hand towel completely soaking- not sure how/why

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