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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pick the Freecyclers I want and not the most 'deserving'?

69 replies

Rosieeo · 03/01/2010 15:10

I'm replacing a few things in the sales and have Freecycled my fridge freezer. I had masses of replies, most vaguely rude and demanding, some sob stories and one 'I'll be there at so-and-so time as I need it the most, for my insulin'

In the end I picked the politest person who could remove the fridge easily and safely. Young lad and his mate turned up on time, very nice, wanted the fridge to put in his garage for their beer. Fine.

When telling my cousin about this, she was disgusted that I gave it to the bloke for his beer and not the rude woman with diabetes. She thinks it should have gone to the person who needed it the most. I went for good grammar/spelling.

Was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
NoahAndTheWhale · 03/01/2010 15:13

YANBU - you are giving something away and you can give it to whoever you want to.

If I am freecycling something that more than one person is interested in (sadly rare ) then I don't give it to someone who demands it, or who tells me their phone number and expects me to call them.

MamaLazarou · 03/01/2010 15:13

Ha ha ha

YANBU

You gave someone a free fridge! End of story.

gingerkirsty · 03/01/2010 15:14

Nope I completely agree with you, did a similar post not long ago which did prompt some controversy, mainly (I suspect) amongst people who aren't actually Freecyclers and who thought that people are doing you a favour if they come and collect your stuff! The least I would expect is someone making the effort to ask nicely, diabetes or no!

ProfYaffle · 03/01/2010 15:17

tbh, you have no idea if the diabetes lady was telling the truth anyway. I always say I'll give to whoever can collect quickest and/or take the most stuff in one go.

Hulababy · 03/01/2010 15:19

I am often quite sceptical of the sob stories. I often just give to the first who replies who seems in best position to collect asap.

mel1981 · 03/01/2010 15:20

I dont think you are.
I freecycle a lot and am suprised how rude people are when they ask for things...I also have a disabled man who asks for a lot with the same email every time, explaining that he is disabled and can collect anytime etc. I offered him a few items once and he didnt turn up at agreed time he just turned up to suit him. I hate to say it but I think some people say things like that to give them the edge over others. Ive also been told by my moderator of a few people who sell stuuf on .
Alot of freecyclers who want stuff have never offered anything. I know I want rid of my stuff but also want it to go to the right person.

Uriel · 03/01/2010 15:24

Yanbu.

Who says storing beer in the garage is not a good cause?

Good grammar and spelling would do it for me every time. Politeness and punctuality a bonus!

wannaBe · 03/01/2010 15:27

no yanbu.

I've never used freecycle, but i hate the sense of entitlement that seems to exist on there (from posts I've seen from people on here).

I would imagine the woman with diabetes was talking bollocks anyway. After all unless she'd been diagnosed yesterday where does one imagine she'd been keeping her insulin until now?

TheCrackFox · 03/01/2010 15:27

Maybe he has very low blood sugar levels and he needs to boost them with a constant supply of beer, hence the need for a beer fridge in the garage?

Hando · 03/01/2010 15:28

Good grammar and spelling has nothing to do with who I pick to give my stuff to - why on Earth would it?

Politeness, a please and thank you and ability to pick up at a time that's good for me are what I base my choices on.

I do not believe sob stories, nor those who are "desperate for a sofa as their 5 kids are sitting on the floor" but it must be fab condition, leather and dark brown. Makes me laugh. If you are desperate for something then colour and style are irrelevent.

2shoes · 03/01/2010 15:29

yanbu
I gave our stereo to the person who could pick it up first.
I did feel sorry for the one who was really keen, but you have to choose some how

BratleyGaveInToBaubles · 03/01/2010 15:33

I've just freecycled 3 seperate items this morning and I went for the people I liked the sound of the most!
People who were polite, who didn't demand and who didn't ask for a photo first so they could decide if they liked it or not first.

YANBU, if you're going to give something away surely you should be allowed to give it to someone you like the sound of?
I'd hate my stuff, that I'd paid money for, to go to someone rude!

Original poster
Rosieeo · 03/01/2010 15:34

I didn't think I was! When my lovely (but sensitive) cousin said that, I was surprised.

Some of the things you've mentioned are constant bugbears for me: the leaving mobile numbers and expecting me to call them, the sense of entitlement etc. I once freecycled my friends sofa and I was actually emailed by someone asking why I hadn't given it to them and saying I was 'unfair'!

Still, I am glad the fridge is going to have some fun in it's final days

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 03/01/2010 15:35

I often just give to the first person to repond. Can't be arsed with the sob stories to be honest.

JaneS · 03/01/2010 15:35

Please please give it to the person who's least trouble to you. My parents decided to freecycle some old child-size wardrobes (finally, with children all comfortably into adulthood!). My dad thinks you have to choose the most deserving case and ended up with a couple who turned up, took one look at my mum (in her late fifties, walks with a limp) and asked her to load it into the car for them as they couldn't lift anything heavy! The heck did we think they were 'deserving' after that!

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 03/01/2010 15:35

well - I@m not sure about the "good grammar/spelling" - but YANBU to give it to whoever you please, and if the bloke that wanted a beer fridge was the politest then no reason at all he shouldn't get it.

I'm not sure he really needs a fridge in the garage for his beer in this cold weather though does he

notquitenormal · 03/01/2010 15:38

I gave away a box of household stuff once. Got about 15 replies. I got one reply from someone saying they needed it because she and her 3 kids had nothing due to having to leave their violent partner and set up all over again.

All right, well I probably would have gone with her (and delivered too, location was on my way to work) if the email address wasn't [email protected]

If they guy had said he wanted it for a carboot I would actually have picked him...I love carboots that's why I have so much crap to give away.

Original poster
Rosieeo · 03/01/2010 15:41

I was being a little flippant on the spelling/grammar front, although I have to say that an email that says:

'Hi there, I'm really interested in your fridge freezer if it's still available. I can pick up at any time and I have a van. Thanks for considering me.'

Reads a lot better than:

'hi im interesting in ur fridge if u still have it i can pick it up in my van thank u'

Starts to get a little worried about own spelling/grammar

OP posts:
wannaBe · 03/01/2010 15:53

ah no, text speak would be a no-no for me.

Spelling and grammar could be indicative of english not being a first language or other things, but text speak is just bloody lazy.

ChilloHippi · 03/01/2010 15:57

YANBU. You are entitled to give it to whoever you want. Like you, I would go for the most polite requests first. Manners cost nothing, afterall.

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 03/01/2010 16:02

no the ones that got me this week was "wanted wii" wanted DS games!!

I hate rude people, terible bunch of idiots

Bathsheba · 03/01/2010 16:21

I agree completely - you give it to whoever you want to on whatever criteria you pick.

I have quite a big bit of furniture to giv e away soon - a double futon that can be used as a double bed or a sofa. I'm aware that it could make quite a diffrence to someone who really needs furniture.

However, I'm 38 weeks pg, its heavy and its big - so priority will be given to someone who can come and collect it at a sensible time and date, and who can collect it and load it without ANY HELP FROM ME - I cannot help them with it at all.

There is an amazing amount of people with "nothing" and "premature babies just out of hospital" and "very ill Aunties" and the like on our freecycle.

Pikelit · 03/01/2010 17:40

Freecycle is such a good concept but I can't actually be doing with the shite that goes with it! Which I realise is the wrong attitude to take.

But if I could steel myself to use Freecycle, I'd put polite over allegedly deserving any time.

Bathsheba · 03/01/2010 17:46

Its been very controversial up here as far as the council's refusal to grit pavements,

Bathsheba · 03/01/2010 17:49

Whoops, wrong thread..>!!!!!!!!