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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pick the Freecyclers I want and not the most 'deserving'?

69 replies

Rosieeo · 03/01/2010 15:10

I'm replacing a few things in the sales and have Freecycled my fridge freezer. I had masses of replies, most vaguely rude and demanding, some sob stories and one 'I'll be there at so-and-so time as I need it the most, for my insulin'

In the end I picked the politest person who could remove the fridge easily and safely. Young lad and his mate turned up on time, very nice, wanted the fridge to put in his garage for their beer. Fine.

When telling my cousin about this, she was disgusted that I gave it to the bloke for his beer and not the rude woman with diabetes. She thinks it should have gone to the person who needed it the most. I went for good grammar/spelling.

Was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
pinkmagic1 · 03/01/2010 17:50

I always give to the person that asks most politely. I also prefer it when the individual tells me what they want the item for. I gave a cot bed away recently and it went to the lady who wrote 'I would really like the cot bed for my 18 month old DS' as opposed to the one who wrote 'could I have the cot bed please'. I feel a lot of people take stuff they don't really need just because its free so I like to know the reason, although I also don't like the sob stories.

zapostrophe · 03/01/2010 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SoupDragon · 03/01/2010 17:55

I do the same. I ignore rude people and demanding people and those who think I'm going to text them to let them know if I've picked them. I tend to ignore sob stories too and just go for someone who's polite. Having said that, if it's baby stuff and someone says it's for their first baby, I'll give them priority as there is a chance it will get more use with any subsequent children.

ImSoNotTelling · 03/01/2010 18:09

Were the council trying to source grit from freecycle?

ImSoNotTelling · 03/01/2010 18:10

bit late there my last post made sense at the time!

eatsshootsleaves · 03/01/2010 18:20

To me, the most deserving freecyclers were the ones you chose so no YANBU.

Whenever I reply, I also put those with manners above those who probably need it more but are demanding and rude.

BigBadMummy · 03/01/2010 18:30

YANBU.

I do exactly as you do, and ignore the bad spelling and grammar or the "when can I collect" emails. I also don't believe all the sob stories.

I would have done just as you have.

tethersend · 03/01/2010 18:39

Can someone enlighten me as to how I actually join Freecycle? I have tried to sign up about 3 times, and heard nothing.

Is it a bit like the masons?

onebatmother · 03/01/2010 18:46

Hmm. I dunnno. I half think that if someone has the drive to make a living out of freecycle, good for them. We're unlikely to be talking about much more than £30, right?

Although I am a sucker for an email that includes the correct use of the subjunctive

TrillianAstra · 03/01/2010 18:53

Choose on whatever basis you like.

For most people I assume this would be 'will pick up at a convenient time with no hassle'.

Politeness is always good.

If your motications for freecycling include wanting to feel that you are doing good for the world (rather than just getting your stuff taken away) then you might go for the most 'deserving' sounding.

Or you could pick them because you like the pun in their email address, or because they have the same first name as your best friend from school, or because the email arrived at 11.11 exactly.

It's your stuff. Do what you like.

TrillianAstra · 03/01/2010 18:54

Er, motivation. What's a motication? A holiday involving some kind of motor sport?

FairyCakeBump · 03/01/2010 19:01

YANBU

I'm very specific when I list things. I'll state the times that the item is available for collection and that I'm unable to consider any requests for different times. It usually works.

onebatmother · 03/01/2010 19:03

But not entirely sure why everyone's so keen on this 'it's yours do what you like' thing..
I mean, just because it belongs to you doesn't mean that you shouldn't think about the consequences of its disposal, either for good or ill, right? Hence freecycling and plain old recycling, etc..

TrillianAstra · 03/01/2010 19:14

You've already thought about the consequences, you've thought 'I'll give it to someone who wants it'.

onebatmother · 03/01/2010 19:20

yeahbut.
why the big thing about 'after that point I've got no responsibilities'?

e/o seems to get a bit of a bee in their bonnet about this (few threads over the years). I think the OP is perfectly reasonable in her choice, but I'm interested why everyone has such strong feeligns about it.

TrillianAstra · 03/01/2010 19:24

I think it's more about priorities. Would you rather give it to someone who (claims to be) more deserving, or to the person who makes life easiest for you?

And in reality it is not your responsibility to provide fridges for diabetics, or whatever story is coming up this week.

onebatmother · 03/01/2010 20:12

yy - but people seem to feel really strongly about it (not just on MN - everywhere), as if society/govt were trying to make them responsible for those less fortunate etc.

Which I don't think really is the case. But it's clearly quite a common feeling, and completely genuinely felt by good people, and so I'm interested in why.

notanumber · 03/01/2010 20:17

There are two or three people who always reply to every 'offered' posting of mine - always worded in exactly the same way.

They must just blanket respond to every single item that comes up, and that irritates me a bit because they can't need all the stuff they ask for, they'd be drowning in crap after a week.

I have to say that I never offer the item to those people just on point of principle.

slummybutyummy · 03/01/2010 20:57

thethersend - I've tried to join several times too - at the Masons - what do you think we should try next time?

slummybutyummy · 03/01/2010 20:58

Meant to write at the Masons gag

alkiezrus · 03/01/2010 21:01

This is a prime example of what annoys me on freegle...

Hi Everyone

I have just moved into a new house and I don't have anythink. I would be very greatful. I was just woundering if any off these varous items.

Dinning room table and chairs
3 piece sweet sofa aka (1 seater, 2 seater, 3 seater)
Waredrobes
Chester draws
Lameriting flooring
Dish washer
Tumble dryer
French cabnits
Sittingroom cabnits
Curtains, blinds, net curtains
Double bed base
Kitchin untenstals
Crockery
Fridge freezer
TV and stand
Computer/Laptop
Single bed and mattress
Shelfs and shelfing unit
Painting and pitchers
Electric cooker
Tosters
Kettle
Lamps
Wall paper
Toy cabnits
Cd player/stereo

Many Thanks

LunarSea · 03/01/2010 21:06

slummybutyummy / tththersend - try looking for freegle in your area. A lot of the uk freecycle groups renamed themselves as this late last year when there was a bit of a split with the US freecycle lot over some cultural differences.

Stephief · 03/01/2010 21:08

I always give it to the person I want to,not neccesarily the one with the best sob story.

I used to be a sucker for the sob stories. I gave away a larder fridge once to a woman who said she had cancer, couldnt work, hers had broken down etc. Sounded like she needed it. It was collected by a couple of blokes in a work van (had the company name emblazoned on the side!) Wasnt too worried as maybe with cancer it was fair enough she wasnt there and had sent someone else. Later saw the fridge advertised for sale in the shop run by the company who had collected it!

Never again (though I did report them to the mmods!)

I give to whoever I like the sound of now! MMy stuff, my choice!

ChilloHippi · 03/01/2010 23:09

Alkiezrus, you misspelt 'curtains', it's usually spelt 'curtins' on my Freecycle group!

Meglet · 03/01/2010 23:11

yanbu. I pick the person that seems the most sensible. I've been messed around too many times.