to really hope sil gets a HUGE reality shock!

[snowedinwithJjandtheBean]

Me and df are young parents 21 and 23 our dcs are 2 and 1. When announcing our pregnancy the in laws were 'devastated' in there words despite having our own home, jobs and car at the time, pretty good situation for a suprise Imo!

Anyway sil is 19 and she got a suprise meal and champagne on ice to tell the rest of the family,

The past few days over christmas i have heard, 'mine wont do that, whens it bedtime x 30000, mine will be polite, mine wont expect presents, mine wont beg for my food, mine will go to sleep on time.

By the end of two days me and dp were in hysterics, and calmly told her being smug before youve been there isnt clever, and also that she thinks its that easy!
DS is just 2, hes just realised christmas means presents, hes not rude, he sayes peeease and ta!

Saying present peeease isnt rude when your 2 imo!

And after a day of excitement loads of family feeding you sweets, juice etc, all after an early morning and a 2hr drive to get there he was a bit stressed at bedtime in an odd place, me and dp trying to pacify him can hear sil saying 'how hard can it be, say night and shut the door'

We then have another one of the in laws decide to stay at pils uninvited meaning me df and dd are then having to share with ds whos been in his own room 18mnths, he was very upset to find us in his room at 2am and screamed the place down, next morning sil is saying hes spoilt and so on!!!

SO AIBU to want her to have a non sleeping new born, and fussy eater and a general brat of a toddler?

Also may i add my two are not perfect and me and df do mess up, we will admit that, but theyre polite and ds has a fantastic routine, AT HOME!

YANBU but to be honest I am sure we all had a rose tinted view of motherhood before the reality hit us. I am sure you don't really hope she struggles.

next time she does this, smile sweetly and broadly and say, calmly, "someone once told me that the best parents are the ones who don't have kids. I wasn;t sure what she meant. But now I am"

(it's ironic speak for shut the F up)

Next time she does this - just ask politly

"Am I alklowed to laugh when things don't go quite to plan when your dc is born?" Cos if I am not then please dont keep comenting on how we do things - smile - It would be so much nicer if all the cousins could play together

I'm with you
though don't agree with the wishes of colic because thats not fair on the poor innocent baby

Am I on the only person in the world who really never though I could do better before having kids? In my defence I spent a lot of my childhood doing work with special needs kids and had always assumed that it was bloody hard work. In fact in some ways I have found it easier than I thought it would be though admittedly in others it may have been harder its on balance

Just smile and nod. If you must comment say 'wait and see'. My best mate used to say that and it drove me crazy - but she was right. Not that I ever made such rude comments about her children!
My DS is pretty much a dream child (so far) but that doesn't mean my eyes haven't been opened about the realities of parenting. She'll get hers [bwahahahahahaha]

most of us have idealised visions of motherhood pre children.i certainly did.fortunately i only shared with other child free friends

some laugh out loud stuff,too
toddlers crying in restaurant etc - just firmly calmly quietly tell em to behave

HAHAH!...

fast forward: i am that comedy mum you see squawking/pleading and chasing around restaurant to other diners bemusement/horror

hatwomen that is the best statement ever! i will remember that!

Id never wish her to struggle, just realise its HARD work not i want a child like this, and it happens, my kids IMO are perfect and actually the best behaved in the family, we are lucky, we did nothing to earn such chilled children, however there is time, and of course the fact that my dd still sleeps in my bed 5 nights in 7! LOL!

DF is dear/darling fiance, newly engaged so a bit soppy lol!

I hope she has the child from hell

I never vocalised any "I could do this better" type thoughts. but I did used to think "I'd never dress my children like that". Then one day a friend sent me and her then 2 year old upstairs for me to get her dressed. I offered the choice of plain dress and patterned tights. or patterned dress and plain tights. no amount of cajoling would persuade her of the style and wisdom of these choices. nothing but patterned tights and patterned dress would do. I learned an important lesson that day - mainly that sometimes patterned dress and patterned tights are, in fact, the right thing to do...

She is very young and has no idea-she will learn! (try not to say 'I told you so'!)

Congratulations on your engagement.

I don't think it's unusual that she thinks these things - we all think we know better don't we - but it's the saying them out loud that grates on you and that will come back to bite her.

I tend to think, 'Bless, how naive are you' when I hear a childless person making comments like that.

She will look back and cringe. Try not to be too smug when she does realise what an utter idiot she was.

LOL at aspirational mince.

Scottishmummy - love that "aspirational mince", and intend to use it soon.

Hatwoman - I know what you mean about the clothes, Missecht was always very, ahem, decided about her chice of clothes from a very early age. I used to be sick with envy about her supine/compliant friends and rels who dressed in chic navy, grey, white or black, as selected by their parents. : o

I meant

oh sil had many a dig at the dcs clothes, they were in mr and mrs santa outfits on boxing day ''oh i suppose you think thats cute'' ''mr and mrs santa, isnt that a bit wrong'' and so on...

Her main thing was a huge row,

there are 6 children in the family, 2 of mine, 3 of her closest brothers and 1 of anothers, the only child is very spoilt so she refuses to buy for him, he is ONE! On boxing day his parents were hurt and said so, she said shed never feel like that and they were being unreasonable... we will see! (shed spent £20-30 on the 4 and a huge amount on her favorite)

And also me and the sil whos son wasnt given a gift are close, and we both have a strong liking for debanhams, pumpkin patch, next and so on, she wrinkles her nose in disust at anything the children wear from them, stating we are snobs and should shop in primark, i do, socks vests and so on, and anything else i like! Its not the label its how it looks!

I am in serious rant mode now, sorry!

Tell her she's right. Not only that - labour, it's pretty painless if you do it right. And, sex with hubby, should happy on about day 5 post-birth, right? And the baby should be talking by ten months, obviously.

If fact, I suggest you get her a prospectus for Eton forthwith, in case dear baby isn't stimulated enough at home.

Alternatively, sit back and prepare to laugh a lot

Lol littlered!

Although i cant do the ''labour, it's pretty painless if you do it right. And, sex with hubby, should happy on about day 5 post-birth, right?''

because in her words, ''you cheated yeah, how come, can i do that?''

Basically because ds showed up as no growth for several weeks at a late scan i was rushed for a section, dd was a planned section due to such close age gap, she loves making me feel shitty and a 'fake' as she puts it!

I do laugh here because from what im told by my mum friends, i was damn lucky esp after dd where i had NO pain from the section at all!

Here, what on earth, i ment i do laugh then!

She'll learn

Ahem I was a little like this before ds was born although not that extreme.
My children were only going to eat organic food ever
I would bf for at least a year
They would sleep 12 hours a night never waking up
And I would despise those with out a routine and firmly believed discapline was the way to go

I soon learnt

not that I'm against bf full of admiration for women who do.. I just never managed to do it for very long

my brother and sil were vile to me when i was pregnant. and very dismissive of having a difficult baby. i just kept thinking, its cool, when it their turn i will laugh my ass off.

SIL had perfect, pain free pregnancy and their baby sleeps through at 6 weeks old.............

sometimes there really is no justice in the world!!!!!!

Write everything she says down.... and save it for her dc's first birthday.... then smile

Do't worry she'll find out the hard way!!

I wouldnt let it get your back up tbh.

Can you honestly say you never thought or said your child would never have a dummy,sleep through the night in its cot etc...?

I know i did, but thats just naivety.

You are older & have more experience,just ignore her comments

YANBU my brother said recently that having a baby was like having a cat-cant wait for their DC to arrive!

Snowedin, don't think you're a "fake" for having sections. If they're necessary, they're necessary. I had one with my first, for developing pre-eclampsia (luckily at 38 weeks, almost full term so DD is a lovely girl of 9). My BP was too high for an induction to be risked, so I got on with doing what was necessary for DD to survive.