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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off with anti-social behaviour from DP at my parents?

70 replies

CoffeelikeTar · 28/12/2009 09:10

My mum invited me and DP for Christmas eve dinner. She doesn't know DP very well and knowing that he's not exactly life of the party, I told him I'd go on my own. He insisted however, on coming with me....even though he knows as well as I do that he'd be constantly clock watching and wouldn't enjoy it but god forbid I go anywhere without him.

So anyway, it was to be quite a big deal, my grandma had also made the effort to go just to meet him etc.

So when we first got there, he was quiet and looked a bit nervous. Fair enough but after a while he started to really piss me off.

My mum made him a cup of tea. He complained it was "too sweet".

After dinner, he sat there falling asleep on the sofa. I was so embarrassed. My poor grandma kept trying to talk to him and he was completely ignoring her. I had to prompt him a few times to get him to acknowledge that someone was speaking to him. When he "realised" he gave one sentance answers and prompty went back to sitting there with his eyes closed.

What pisses me off even more is the fact that he must have been aware of what was going on because as soon as we got home, he started questioning me on conversations I'd had with my mum whilst he was aparantly "asleep".

He never even thanked my mum for dinner or the presents or anything and had it not been for her shouting down the street at him as he was hurrying to the car, he wouldn't have even said goodbye.

My grandma will now think he's a tosser.

I've not mentioned it to him yet but I'm still annoyed by it. He also made us an hour late by faffing delivering presents at 11am when he knew we were meant to be THERE for 11am.

Then to add insult to injury, when we were due to visit HIS parents on boxing day, he started kicking off when we were delayed saying we couldn't be late!!!

OP posts:
hatesponge · 28/12/2009 15:24

From what you have said about him, I can't see what positives you get from this relationship.

I would get rid asap.

PrincessToadstool · 28/12/2009 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RobynLou · 28/12/2009 15:40

He sounds awful

catsdontscreetch · 28/12/2009 15:45

Another vote for dumping the tosser.

ThumbleBells · 28/12/2009 15:46

Any positives to this man? No? then why keep him?
He sounds like a real prize. Your grandma knows best. There is no excuse for such bad manners.

BoF - LOL at your classic e.g. of antisocial behaviour!

duckyfuzz · 28/12/2009 15:47

gran is right he's a tosser

put him in the boxroom - or even better, bin him

why on eearth would you want to be with soemone with so little respect for you?

overmydeadbody · 28/12/2009 16:34

is your self repoect really so low that you are actually in a relationship with a man like this? You poor thing. I hope you see sense and leave the tosser.

thisxgirl · 28/12/2009 17:46

He sounds like a complete pain in the neck - your relatives are bound to think poorly of him and that is embarrassing for you. My DP loathes doing the family thing - read: "being on his best behaviour for several hours in an unfamiliar and boring circumstance" and trust me, he is shy and can be very awkward, BUT he came to my mother and stepfather's on Christmas Day and was the epitome of politeness and contrived congeniality. It's part and parcel of Christmas and family relations and just good manners. Does he not care what you and your family think of him?

Squishabelle · 28/12/2009 17:55

YANBU - get rid!

Mishy1234 · 28/12/2009 17:58

YANBU!

He sounds rude and very dismissive of your feelings to have acted in such a way around your family.

helpYOUiWILL · 28/12/2009 18:13

so op what are you going to do?

RomillyJane · 28/12/2009 18:59

tosser. ditch him.

if you don't, you need to ask yourself why you are settling for someone who treats you with no respect

MadamDeathstare · 28/12/2009 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/12/2009 19:50

"but god forbid I go anywhere without him." Says it all really. You cannot see any family/friends without him, and he ensures that you have a rotten time. So, pretty soon you stop seeing family/friends because it is just too embarassing. He then has complete control of you.

You have no children with this man but you do have children. This is not a healthy environment in which to raise your children. For heaven's sake woman, agree with your gran and ditch the tosser pronto!

Paolosgirl · 28/12/2009 20:05

Dump him - the way we used to dump boyfriends when we were 15 and they acted like tossers. I presume from the way he behaved he's about that age?

Get out and move on.

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 28/12/2009 21:06

hes a twunt, dump dump dump ignorant fucker

sb6699 · 28/12/2009 21:11

I'm with Grandma too. Run for the hills.

scottishmummy · 28/12/2009 21:20

foul man.dreadful manners.what do you see in him

victoriascrumptious · 28/12/2009 21:37

My husband does this, he's not abusive in any other way but he insists on coming to my parents and then making me feel stressed and awkward through his lack of effort. He blames me for his behaviour by saying I didnt paint a good impression of my parents before he met them so he instantly took against them. I DID moan to him a lot about my parents as they were quite abusive in some respects when I was growing up. He's also quite socially awkward and so are my parents to be fair but he doesnt really help himself by making comments about wine glasses being dirty etc etc

I dont know really how to handle it.

potatofactory · 28/12/2009 21:44

I would not want this man around my children. What a loser. How could you like him, let alone fancy him after that display?

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