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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

and a bit soppy and non-MNy...

34 replies

SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 27/12/2009 22:03

...to feel a bit sad and tearful following the many posts on here about relationships breaking down over the Christmas period?

Some of the posts are very, very sad. Others have me feeling a bit scared for the OPs. Others have me fuming.

Not sure it's relevant but don't want to be accused of being "smug married" so will add that I'm single parent who has given up on the whole relationship thing.

OP posts:
tiredoftherain · 27/12/2009 22:05

It is really sad, but for some it's a positive that they're finally starting to talk about things, and realising how bad their situations are and making plans to change it. MN is amazingly supportive in these situations imo.

I guess the surge of posts is also consistent with the fact that Relate get their highest number of calls at this time of year.

Original poster
SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 27/12/2009 22:09

Tiredoftheraine - you're right, of course. I do think it's much better to be alone than to be unhappy (or worse) in a relationship. Guess I had too much wine with my dinner!

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2009 22:10

I feel the same sleigh

I have found MN very upsetting (and sometimes disturbing) over the past couple of weeks

tiredoftherain · 27/12/2009 22:17

It's disturbing how many socially competent and well educated women are tolerating physically or emotionally abusive or dysfunctional relationships, often without realising it, or because they're too scared to make any changes.

I hope the new year brings strength to those who need it.

Original poster
SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 27/12/2009 22:20

Much more eloquently put than the numerous efforts I was making to say much the same thing.

I share your new year wish.

Some very scary posts on here lately...

OP posts:
bibbitybobbitysantahat · 27/12/2009 22:28

Anyfucker - you know how much I respect and admire you, right?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2009 22:42

err...yes, bibbity....

< holds breath >

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 27/12/2009 22:53

I think you should stay away from the Relationships threads if they make you sad . It seems to me that Mumsnet is nowadays high on the list when you google "leaving husband" or "relationship problems" or whatever. We have all sorts of random people posting here with terribly sad stories. There are hundreds of em. You can't help them all, fucker, and it is very draining for you to try to do so. And I mean this all in the best possible taste, really I do.

BitOfFunWithRudolph · 27/12/2009 22:55

I go on them a lot less than I used to tbh- it can be a bit depressing.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2009 22:56

lol @ best possible taste (did you cross your legs and show your fanjo when you typed that ?)

you are right

I will go cold turkey (oh how seasonal..)

I will hide the relationships topic

consider it done

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 27/12/2009 22:57

I did

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2009 23:00

I might need to be policed...

VicarInaTinselTuTu · 27/12/2009 23:26

a job for me then! ha ha. (not!)

i tend to get a little involved in those threads too...

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2009 23:28

how do you stay away ?

they are horribly compulsive...

Original poster
SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 28/12/2009 08:26

I wondered that too... I thought when I posted that I should just not read them. I think, though, that if you're naturally compassionate then you do want to help. I find myself worrying about the OPs long after the thread has gone.

OP posts:
WhatFuckingYearIsItThen · 28/12/2009 12:01

have managed 12 hours so far.......

Jamieandhismagictorch · 28/12/2009 12:12

It's no good hiding topics once you have learned how to un-hide them.

I there a way of permanently hiding them ?

ImSoNotTelling · 28/12/2009 12:20

YANBU at all. So many desperately upsetting stories. The thing that has been a real eye-opener for me though is all the financial abuse. It's everywhere, and people seem to think as the man isn't hitting them, or being horrible verbally etc then it's OK to make her try and feed clothe etc herself and all children on child benefit or whatever while the OH swans around earning £££ and stashing it all away. Those ones really upset me for some reason. I want to shout "it's not fair" at someone who can do something about it. I had no idea that this sort of thing was so common in this day and age - it's just utterly depressing.

MitchyInge · 28/12/2009 12:29

yanbu

reading threads over recent days has had me wandering from smug single parent to slightly embittered loner and back somewhere between the two extremes again

(that's what I posted on the duplicate of this thread)

it scares me from ever trying to be in a normal relationship again, not that prospective partners are queuing up or anything

ImSoNotTelling · 28/12/2009 13:07

There are good men out there mitchy, just people don't post about them, as a contented home life just isn't very interesting.

It is hard to remember that sometimes when reading these boards.

MitchyInge · 28/12/2009 13:20

it might be easier if I could convert to lesbitarianism

WhatFuckingYearIsItThen · 28/12/2009 13:34

give it a try mitchy

although I don't believe horridness is confined to the male gender

ImSoNotTelling · 28/12/2009 13:49

You need to look in the daily mail and find out where homosexuality is being preached at the moment - if you go along then you will be turned gay instantly.

MitchyInge · 28/12/2009 13:53

hahaha

I don't think so really

just seems like there might be a bigger pool to fish in if so

ImSoNotTelling · 28/12/2009 13:58

Pets are fairly reliable, they never criticise your weight or refuse to tell you how much money they are earning.

Just a thought!