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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to spend our xmas gift money on the mortgage

44 replies

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 27/12/2009 14:48

We were very lucky that my mum and ILs gave us money this year - they knew we were strapped as my builder DP was left in the shit by a client pulling out at the last minute - he managed to pull it out of the bag though, thanks to a friend putting work his way and we managed last months mortgage payment despite thinking we couldnt. So, my mum is V generous and gave us £400 between us and DPs mum £100, our mortgage is £750. We have about £200 on us until DP gets some more money, probably the end of next week. So without this money we would have been ringing the mortgage company to make arrangements not to pay it - we already in arrears and have an arrangement in place to sort it out - they have been very good actually.

Thing is, our mattress has had it, we have had it for 15 years, its knackered, it has holes in it ffs that i can get my hand in!! I wake up each morning feeling like ive done ten rounds with mike tyson So i thought when we got the money - kerching!!! new mattress - and thats what we decided to do - buy a new mattress and ring the mortgage company and arrange to pay this months at the end of the month (They said to call them if we had difficulties this month as i pre warned them that this was a possibility due to work situation).

My DP has lots of work lined up this month - more than he can really cope with ironically, so we would probably be able to manage it - BUT, it puts us on the back foot - the mortgage company have been more than understanding and we have avoided repossession by the skin of our teeth.

So, i have had to be a grown up person today and say to DP, look, the matress is going to have to wait, we can't pay our mortgage and we have £500 sat in an envelope.

Maybe we can get a matress when he gets paid, but it never bloody works out like that, weve been sleeping on a holey matress for six months now and my back is suffering for it.

GRRRRRRR - its shit being a grown up sometimes isnt it

Its not all doom and gloom, DP has work lined up, which is more than some people we know - we consider ourselves very lucky indeed but he is now grumping around sulking because i have pissed on his blow out bonfire

OP posts:
RubysReturn · 27/12/2009 14:51

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oldraver · 27/12/2009 14:54

Could you compromise and buy a mattress topper, and put the rest toward the mortgage ?

Original poster
ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 27/12/2009 14:54

arrrrggghhh ruby!! dont make me think along those lines - the mattress would be about £300 for a half decent one, cant see the point in wasting the money on a cheepo one - worse than not buying and waiting iyswim -oh oh, what shall i do????????

OP posts:
RubysReturn · 27/12/2009 14:56

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Fibilou · 27/12/2009 14:59

"I'd buy mattress for £300 and pay £200 towards mortgage, then top up as soon as dh was paid. You need somewhere to sleep"

Like a house ? I would definitely pay it off the mortgage, I'd rather be sleeping badly than not pay it.

RubysReturn · 27/12/2009 15:00

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Fibilou · 27/12/2009 15:01

And if you've only narrowly avoided repossession I can't even imagine how you could be considering not paying it off the mortgage

Sandy22 · 27/12/2009 15:02

For me this is a no brainer - you pay your mortgage - I would rather have a roof over my head than a new mattress. You have waited this long for a mattress surely you can wait until the end of the month to get one.

Original poster
ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 27/12/2009 15:03

thats what i said to DP, its all very well having a nice new mattress, but if we have no house to put it in.....

My DP is already in a foul mood because of the money thing - i hate it when he does this! So if we put more stress on ourselves by not paying the mortgage its going to be shit.

But then, if we dont get the mattress now, we probably never will....... well, maybe not never because our mattress is almost falling apart so there will come a day when it does actually fall apart - oh bollocky bollocks

OP posts:
bb99 · 27/12/2009 15:04

Consider the house the MOST expensive Xmas present ever and wrap up the mortgage statement or stick a bow on the front door?

Yes, being grown up can be a bit shit at times. Hope you and DH have better luck with jobs and stuff next year.

Original poster
ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 27/12/2009 15:04

Fibi - we aren't considering not paying it, lol, i said AIBU to not to WANT to pay it - two very different things

OP posts:
Fibilou · 27/12/2009 15:05

Point out to him the worst option - sleeping on the floor but still in your house or sleeping on a new mattress on the street.

AnAuntieNotAMum · 27/12/2009 15:05

Normally I'd say pay the mortgage but a good mattress could be the difference that makes you both be able to function better so, especially as your DH has a physical job, as long as you are sure that you won't get repossessed, I'd go for the mattress.
I paid £200 for an IKEA top of the range a few years back and suddenly I didn't wake up with lower back pain anymore. That made a big difference to my life.

Ewe · 27/12/2009 15:06

You don't have to spend £300 on a mattress! Pay your mortgage and at the end of the month buy a cheaper mattress.

Ivykaty44 · 27/12/2009 15:07

I would telephone the mortgae compnay and ask if you can also make smaller payments through the month when you dh gets paid, especially if he has lots of work through the month. The mortgae people will see you are paying frequently and this may help

Then buy a materess in the sales and pay some of the mortgae with any money left over.

free delivery

Original poster
ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 27/12/2009 15:08

nup, im putting my foot down - we NEED a new mattress, but of course we will pay the mortgage i am simply going to insist that we get a mattress the minute DP got paid. My mum was quite forceful in saying we had to buy ourselves something with the money - i think a house is something enough I do feel sick about it though.

Heres to a better 2010 - i have a good feeling about it

OP posts:
bearcrumble · 27/12/2009 15:09

I'm really sorry that you are in this situation and have to choose between two absolute essentials.

I'd pay the mortgage though.

I know people chuck out servicable mattresses all the time - have you tried FREECYCLE?? I bet you'll find one on there and as hubby is a builder I'm guessing he's got a van so can collect from a wide area. Why not sign up for a few freecycle type things - I'm sure you'll get a free secondhand mattress pretty quickly.

Ivykaty44 · 27/12/2009 15:12

I would go for a second hand matress, borrow a dyson and give it a really good going over to get ride of the last people. Then just purchase a matress protector really cheap and use it.

other though don't like this idea and each to their own...it's not for everyone.

Sandy22 · 27/12/2009 15:12

I know what you are saying about the mattress this also happened to us - but honestly I would rather sleep on a blow up bed than be behind on my mortgage.

Original poster
ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 27/12/2009 15:14

I don't think i would be able to persuade my DP to go for a second hand mattress - i would as im a sucker for a bargain, but actually the thought of sleeping on a matress containing several years of peoples sloughed skin even makes my skin crawl.

OP posts:
Ivykaty44 · 27/12/2009 15:19

I know there is no logic - but 5* hotels also have beds that have been slept in by hundreds of people yet for our own home a second hand one seems weird...

gizzy1973 · 27/12/2009 16:12

try freecycle and see if anyone is getting rid of a matress that you could make do on for a few weeks

skihorse · 27/12/2009 16:31

300 quid for a mattress when you're skint?

I'm not sure my entire bed cost more than 300 from IKEA including frame et al!

justaboutisfatandtired · 27/12/2009 16:34

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MitchyInge · 27/12/2009 16:40

I have a free secondhand bed that someone DIED in - it was v timely as had been sleeping on the floor for ages (this was during hard times about 13 yrs ago but is still a great bed!)

your partner is being ridiculous to put the mattress before the mortgage, obviously the mortgage must be paid especially if you have been anywhere near to repossession

can't someone lend you a futon or something if you are that desperate?