Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get the children to write their thank you letters before Christmas?

27 replies

Avendesora · 23/12/2009 13:13

I have asked the children to write their thank you letters today, they are keen to do them and we have the time. We will post next week.

However, they havent had the gifts yet.

On one hand I think it shouldnt matter what they get as they still need to say thank you. On the other hand its a huge assumption and cant be personalised.

OP posts:
BaronessBarbaraKingstanding · 23/12/2009 13:15

Blimey we don't even do thank you letters to santa.

You get prize for best and most organised parent.

TheMightyToosh · 23/12/2009 13:17

Hmm, I see your logic timewise, but personally I think it would be more rewarding to them/personal to the people they are writing to to have the specific gift in mind when they write each letter and mention it in the letter.

Also, this (I remember from my own childhood) reminds them to pay attention to who bought each gift as you unwrap them, rather than just tearing the paper off and throwing the tag in the bin without even looking at it.

It sort of emphasises the gift-giving aspect rather than just the receiving, IYKWIM.

merrycompo · 23/12/2009 13:18

Er how can you teach them to be thankful for things they haven't had yet?!!

Original poster
Avendesora · 23/12/2009 13:19

We are stuck in because of the ice and I had one of those brainwave moments but didnt think it threw. Maybe I can make up for it by including pictures of children opening said gifts?

OP posts:
TheMightyToosh · 23/12/2009 13:20

Photos of opening each gift is a fab idea!

Original poster
Avendesora · 23/12/2009 13:21

Parcels arrived by post from various god parents and great aunts and put under the tree so they know they are there and who from and who thought of them, and are already greatful to be remembered. They just dont know what is in them, and of course that shouldnt matter so much because its not the gift itself but the thought that counts.

Or so I keep telling myself

OP posts:
MUTTletoe · 23/12/2009 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MollieO · 23/12/2009 13:24

How do you know who is getting what or are you going to do 'thank you for my present'. I always interpret that as 'I can't be bothered to remember what you bought and I didn't like it anyway but I still have to say thank you.'

Ds will do thank you cards after Christmas Day with reference to the presents he has received.

hocuspontas · 23/12/2009 13:24

I hate receiving generic thank you letters. I'd rather not get them really.

BaronessBarbaraKingstanding · 23/12/2009 14:24

Sorry for some reason i tought the letter was to santa, don't know why.
ignore me.

hocuspontas · 23/12/2009 14:27

Try and keep up Barb, it's embarrassing

ImSoNotTelling · 23/12/2009 14:34
Grin
Original poster
Avendesora · 23/12/2009 15:41

Not to Santa, he hasnt been yet!

It was my panicked 'what shall we do now we cant go out' idea.

It doesnt teach them to expect gifts, they dont and are not greedy children. One asked for sausages for Christmas. They are gifts they have already redeived that are not opened yet. Its the same if you are handed a gift, you say thank you even tho you dont yet know what is inside.

They will be generic letters anyway as the oldest is 5 and not writing a lot yet, the youngest does some unique squiggles; I doubt they would be much different after Christmas as before.

I was uncertain when I posted about the validity of my last minute project. Having read the replies I am sure now that IANBU They are thankful for the gifts and the thought - it doesnt matter what the gift is.

Thank you ladies for helping me make up my mind.

OP posts:
purplepeony · 23/12/2009 16:08

Why not write them but leave a big gap so they can insert the right word- such as " selection box", "book" "CD"- or whatever they have received? Then fill in the gap after Xmas and post them then.

I think it is thoughtless just saying thanks for the pressie without any reference to it- the sender may have put a lot of thought into it.

Original poster
Avendesora · 23/12/2009 16:10

Yes it is a bit isnt it, but as they are so young they wouldnt be writing a lot anyway - so I think a photo of them opening the gift would be just as thoughtful and gift specific.

OP posts:
mustrunmore · 23/12/2009 16:12

We have been drawing/painting some little cards, which they know will be thank you letters. They are 3 and 6, so dont write 'letters' as such, ds1 will do a 'thank you for our xxxxxx it was lovely' kind of message in each one.
He has written 2 already, cos theywere cheques in cards, so have been opened.

littleducks · 23/12/2009 16:12

why dont they make THANK YOU cards and leave the writing bit until they have opened their gifts and then fill in the for XXXX bit later, then everyone can receive lovingly crafted things

LittlewhiskersCat · 23/12/2009 16:28

Can't be too hard on OP, yes, it's maybe ideal if the DCs know exactly what the gift is etc etc - on the other hand, DCs writing a thank you card FGS, why be picky over the details (at age 5 and under) ?!?

YANBU. My mum made us write out thank you letters and they always had to be long and include other news such as what we were doing at school and what our favourite dinners were etc we got thoroughly sick of it all and it turned into a major chore instead of a pleasure. A simple Thank You card is absolutely fine and quite appropriate for their ages.

butadream · 23/12/2009 16:37

You need to get them to write Molesworth style pro forma letters now and fill in the blanks later viz.:

Der Auntie Joan

Thankyou for the ......... It was very ........ and I plaid with it a lot
/ wor it on Chrismas day.

We had turkey for Chrismas diner, it was really nice, and I found a coin in the Chrismas puding but Daddy didnt. We went for a walk on Boxing Day, it was very icy and slipy.

Hope you had a lovely Chrismas too.

Love

Mini-Avendisora

purplepeony · 23/12/2009 16:39

but- I said all of that a few posts back, lol.

butadream · 23/12/2009 16:45

sorry purple, I did read the thread but missed that!

PaperChains · 23/12/2009 17:04

At least the OP makes encourages her DCs to actually write "Thank you" letters, which is, after all, basic good manners.
Maybe writing them before the actual event is a bit presumptuous, but it is something that I have, on occasion, considered myself for my DCs to do, with some spaces left for specifics, IYKWIM? The reason is that pre-Christmas, they are still manic enthusiastic and eager to please. Therefore they will generally do most of what you ask.
Post-event, they seem to go into a chocolate-induced slump for a few days. After that, the enthusiasm for writing letters is just jolly hard work for DCs and parents, who are in a different-type slump .
Tbh, I received a Christmas card the other day which incorporated a Thank You note. I could have been more thrilled, but as it was the first "duty note" that I have received from these folks despite years of presents, I was quite happy.
Anyway, enough of my rambling:

  • Thank you letters should be sent without fail (at least by New Year) - by DCs if they are old enough, otherwise by parents.
  • The very best letters do include a photo of the DC opening/enjoying the present.
Original poster
Avendesora · 24/12/2009 08:09

We always do a card or letter or something creative. Its quite sad tho, I have two God children and have never received a thank you anything from them.

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 24/12/2009 08:14

Why not just write a newsy letter saying they are looking forward to Christmas and then after Christmas add the last paragraph on each-thank you for ..... love from.

kslatts · 24/12/2009 08:36

YABU - it is very organised, but you can't say thankyou for something you haven't received.