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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in being disappointed with what DH has got me for christmas

66 replies

Tizzyjacko · 22/12/2009 16:32

Its a mercedes driving experience. I'm not a car fan, only drive an automatic, see it as a way of getting from A to b and hate going fast because it scares me.

I feel like crap because I know he means well and it is a very generous present which we really can't afford and suspect he has got it because I was saying how much I hated driving in the snow and ice.

A year or so ago he got me a trip in a glider knowing I suffer from vertigo and I made him get the money back. He was really hurt so I can't do that again. I know he would love to do this so how do I "regift" without coming over as an ungrateful cow? Or do I just grit my teeth and get it over with?

Oh I know I am an ungrateful cow but I can't help being disappointed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tizzyjacko · 22/12/2009 17:09

Fakeplastic

OP posts:
diddl · 22/12/2009 17:11

YANBU.

You should change it if possible.
You told him what you would like & he took no notice!

He´s feelings aren´t more important than yours!

Original poster
Tizzyjacko · 22/12/2009 17:14

Clearly will have to go back to buying my own, wrapping it and putting it under the tree.

I am however training my 3 DSs to be good givers as well as receivers. they have spent ages planning what to give each other and me and DH for christmas and gone shopping and bought it.

I didn't marry him for his present buying ability. I knew he and his parents exchanged cheques on christmas day (true!). But I do envy those whose DHs put loads of effort into finding the right gift and wrap it and everything!

OP posts:
Hassled · 22/12/2009 17:14

He's getting you the presents he wants himself, isn't he? You're not being an ungrateful cow at all - see if you can get the money back. He needs to think about what you want, not what he wants.

ChickensHaveNoTinsel · 22/12/2009 17:17

What have you bought him? I would suggest some silver earrings

Tortington · 22/12/2009 17:22

i got exactly what i wanted for xmas. becuase i picked it.

i don't know why women put themselves through this ridiculous dance every year

Hassled · 22/12/2009 17:26

DH is freaking me out somewhat - he said that he's bought me "what I asked for". I haven't asked for anything, to the best of my knowledge. I think he's dreamt it.

BouncingTurtle · 22/12/2009 17:35

Sorry but I really do think your DH is confused and has bought a present for himself!!

Surely he should know how you would feel about this...

then again my husband bought me a clarinet when I was pg. Because I mentioned when I was a child I wanted to learn to play an instrument other than the recorder, but lesson had to be paid for and my mum couldn't afford them.

It did NOT mean I wanted to take the clarinet up now!!

So I guess I am to talk lol.

Flightattendant · 22/12/2009 17:37

Ok, go along and then back out suddenly being too scared and girlie. He will then take the wheel and love every minute on your behalf.

But seriously he sounds completely insensitive, or sadistic...not sure which without more information. Gliders? Was he kidding?

juicy12 · 22/12/2009 17:42

I wouldn't fancy the driving or gliding and I'd be disappointed, too, esp if DH knew I wasn't going to like either. Swap it, or, next time drop some really heavy hints. I've spotted a Figleaves box in DH's wardrobe, so I'm hopeful!

purplepeony · 22/12/2009 17:43

Perfect solution- change your husband, as well as the present.

purplepeony · 22/12/2009 17:44

juicy- Figleaves- you have man who knows that Figleaves exists? did you tell him, did he see you buying from them, or is he just a god?

juicy12 · 22/12/2009 17:47

PP, he is lovely! He's bought me Rigby and Pellor stuff before, not sure how he's stumbled across Figleaves, perhaps he does a lot of research !

MrsBadger · 22/12/2009 17:54

hmm

mine did this for a while - bought me things to take me out of my comfort zone because he would enjoy that sort of adrenalin rush...

escortss · 22/12/2009 18:22

I know exactly what my Dh has got me for Christmas. He hid it in my wardrobe, behind my make up bag, and then got slightly disgruntled because i had looked!!! WTF!!

PfftTheMagicDragon · 22/12/2009 19:42

I'm not one to boast but DH always buys me a thoughtful present and I always love it. he is good at picking up on conversations through the year and then getting something I will like. He hides it well and it's always a surprise.

lovechoc · 22/12/2009 19:47

oh come on, he's doing this on purpose, it's so obvious! first the gliding thing then this. is he a really joker?

Pikelit · 22/12/2009 19:48

I've just come back from choosing my Christmas present. Sounds unromantic I know but dp tends to find a trip to the drum shop rather stressful! So I've put the perfect selection of percussion stuff together for him to collect tomorrow and me to be "surprised" and delighted with on Christmas Day!

Have to say he is a very thoughtful present-giver but already taken.

Portofino · 22/12/2009 19:50

I sent DH the link to my Amazon wish list with a few pointers. But due to a strange expression on his face earlier when pressies were discussed, I get the feeling he forgot to actually order anything......The lame excuse that he never had the chance to get to the shops as i "always" have the car - will not wash. But hey ho, I need some perfume and some new family tree software so will be helping myself if nothing is forthcoming.

Pikelit · 22/12/2009 19:52

PS. It does strike me that the OP is being given her DH's ideal present. Either that or it's the latest in a series of gifts that could end up with a "Toxicology for Beginners" course.

pagwatch · 22/12/2009 19:54

is he doing that dense thing of assuming that if he likes it then everyone will? Some people really can't do that different perspective thing

You have to explain to him. Don't hint. Tell him the kind of things you like and list very clearly the things you don't

DH bought me a bike once. When he gave it to me I looked at him and said
" have you met me?" What on earth do you know about me that makes you think that I would like a bike?"

never did that again.

In fairness he is usually bloody brilliant

( A fucking bike!)

PeedOffWithNits · 22/12/2009 19:54

this is how it works chez nous

i buy presents for me, and sellotape, and paper

give them to DH in a bag, he wraps them with the kids

voila, mummy got exactly what she wanted/needed for christmas

oh, and I do get the occasional little extra surprise too, if i am lucky

pagwatch · 22/12/2009 19:56

I couldn't buy my own presents and just get them wrapped. I know some do - my mum does that - but I couldn't.

If DH couldn't chose I would prefer that we just went out shopping together after christmas.

I couldn't do the unwrapping, mock surprise shit.
My mum can. It is a bit weird for me

lovechoc · 22/12/2009 20:06

I couldn't imagine wrapping my own present either and going 'wow - thanks for that, i love it!' when really I knew all along what it was...you have to be seriously good at acting.

Maleeka · 22/12/2009 20:16

i'd love that pressie!!!Gimme if my OH got that for me, i'd be ecstatic!

Finally a chance to put my foot down and not get arrested for speeding

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