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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with my best friend's BF for insinuating....

67 replies

WobblyWenchisBEHINDYOU · 21/12/2009 19:27

that we are both imbacilles.

I went to see her today, she lives in an area that has been affected badly by the snow, so do I but it's not too bad in my area.

So, I went to leave, my car got stuck as fresh snow had fallen since I had been there, and we didn't realise. After trying everything to get the car out, we decided I would take her car as I had to get back to collect DD.

Cue, ranting phone conversation between best frien d and her bf... Saying us women ar "chaos" are we both stupid driving each others cars in these conditions and that we would be facing high insurance bills after crashing each others cars wtf??!!

Fact of the matter is, I have 20 years driving experience and (touch wood) never had an accident, and neither has best friend.

Why do men assume that women are so brainless and only men are capable of driving in adverse conditions.

Am so , he doesn't even know me to judge me this way.

OP posts:
WidowWadman · 21/12/2009 19:37

Maybe it's not that he thinks only men are able to drive in averse condition, but that people shouldn't drive in these conditions full stop.

nellie12 · 21/12/2009 19:38

nah he's got a point.
since you both live in areas affected by heavy snow and the advice is not to drive unnecessarily, yet you go on a trip and have to get back in time to pick up dd despite the road chaos.

And unless you are both used to each others cars (in which case I take it back) then it is a bit daft to start driving unfamiliar cars in adverse conditions.

Original poster
WobblyWenchisBEHINDYOU · 21/12/2009 19:48

Yes, but the main roads are all clear, it's just the small residential roads, i left 2 hours to get back to DD "just in case" I think it's his attitude that has really got me, but I see your points.

OP posts:
ImSoNotTelling · 21/12/2009 19:51

YANBU if he was saying you'd done it all wrong because you were women, which it sounds like he was

Original poster
WobblyWenchisBEHINDYOU · 21/12/2009 19:55

yes he said "you girls are chaos"

OP posts:
Pikelit · 21/12/2009 19:58

Did he mean "you girls" or "all girls"? Because you and your friend had got yourselves into a somewhat chaotic situation, hadn't you? It would be wholly unreasonable to suggest this was a gender specific chaos, mind.

Original poster
WobblyWenchisBEHINDYOU · 21/12/2009 20:02

I wouldn't consider it a chaotic sitatuation we were calm and tried to deal with it, so are you saying a man could have got the car out? I doubt that very much. We had to push her car out of the car park for me to get home, she drives a mini, a drive a 3 series BMW, made sense to get the mini out.

OP posts:
Casserole · 21/12/2009 20:08

I think YABU to put yourself in a situation where you did 2 unneccessary journeys in exceptional weather conditions, one of which was in a completely unfamiliar car which you were also going to be carrying your child in.

I think he was just responding to the stupidness of creating that situation when it didn't need to occur.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 21/12/2009 20:14

I agree that I wouldn't think it was a particularly good idea to drive to an area 'badly affected by snow' when you had to get back for your child. I think he was probably annoyed at the unecessary risks being taken. Sounds like he just lost his rag a bit. Which I can see good reason for tbh.

TisTheSeasonToBeHully · 21/12/2009 20:16

Bastard. I hope you drove straight round there and told him that he was the imbacille.

Casserole · 21/12/2009 20:22

hully

CirrhosisByTheSea · 21/12/2009 20:25

...

Pikelit · 21/12/2009 20:31

Seconded @ hully!

What I was trying to say, Wobbly, is that a chaotic situation had occurred as a result of you driving from one area already affected by snow to another where the conditions were worse knowing that your trip was time limited by the need to collect your child. Not that you had dealt with the consequences in a chaotic manner.

IMoveTheStarsForChristmas · 21/12/2009 20:33

So.. you drove without insurance? What if you had had an accident?

He is BU with his attitude, but you shouldn't have driven someone elses car, especially in this weather.

diddl · 21/12/2009 20:40

I think he could have phrased it better.

But my goodness, how long were you there for so much snow to fall that you couldn´t get your car out?

Weren´t you keeping an eye on the weather at all?

hobbgoblin · 21/12/2009 20:44

i think he has a point

jasper · 21/12/2009 20:47

I think he has a point so long as he did not mean all girls!

MsHighwater · 21/12/2009 20:56

He was wrong if he was suggesting that the chaotic situation was the result of you and your friend being female.

But you made an unnecessary journey in adverse weather conditions when you needed to be back by a particular time. Now you have your friend's car and she has yours and, presumably, you are both driving with only 3rd party insurance cover so, if you do have an accident, any damage to the cars will not be covered. I'm sure lots of very experienced drivers who have never had an accident before will have prangs in this weather. Not surprising he is not impressed, really.

Original poster
WobblyWenchisBEHINDYOU · 21/12/2009 20:58

No, we did not drive without insurance!! Goodness me!! We are both fully comprehensive. OK, as I said, main roads and motorways (which are 95% of the journey) were clear, no ice, salted roads. I am not stupid, and neither is my friend. I did not drive on Friday or Saturday as they were the worst days to travel. No snow has fallen since Friday, hence, the decision to travel today as after checking travel reports, there were no major incidents.

The PROBLEM lay with my friends communal car park, it has not been cleared, salted or dug out. A shower of snow caused my car to get stuck. THIS was the only problem, not the roads, not the conditions, I am more than capable of driving in the dark, snow or fog as I have done on untold occasions over the last 20 years.

My friend has also experienced adverse weather conditions. We both have experience of driving many different cars on many different occasions.

OP posts:
Original poster
WobblyWenchisBEHINDYOU · 21/12/2009 21:01

Also, no snow was forecast for our area whatsoever, so no, we did not look out for it, otherwise, there is no way I would have tken a risk of being stranded.

OP posts:
IMoveTheStarsForChristmas · 21/12/2009 21:02

Fully comp only covers you to drive another persons car in an emegency, and it's only third party insurance. (unless you have special insurance to say otherwise)

ImSoNotTelling · 21/12/2009 21:02

Even if fully comp you usually only get 3rd party insurance for other vehicles that you are not named driver for. So if you had crashed you would have had to fork out.

That aside "you girls" thing would have riled me too.

hobbgoblin · 21/12/2009 21:03

you will only be 3rd party fire theft so not good if you crash

course you'd know that being so femininely smart an'all

IMoveTheStarsForChristmas · 21/12/2009 21:05

xpost ISNT

doesn't matter about the state of the roads. You would have been unreasonable to do this in the height of summer with 100% visability. In your situation I would have had my friend ring their insurance company and add me for a day/week whatever and paid for it. wouldn't have taken more than a few mins. (I do it when I get a courtesy car from the garage, to make sure I'm covered)

Original poster
WobblyWenchisBEHINDYOU · 21/12/2009 21:05

cheers

OP posts: