To be Fedup that my DH is FAT, and lazy most of the time

[fedupinthenorth]

have namechanged, his weight is really getting me down, how can i get him to lose a few pounds?

Buy him a bicycle for christmas ?

Take up a sport together ?

It's probably best to forget about eating healthily for this Christmas - it is really difficult to stick to (and I'm talking from experience as an off and on dieter here)
Take action in the new year.

Agree wth wearthefoxhat- do it in the New Year.

Everyone eats and drinks too much at Christmas.

Everyone eats too much over Christmas, regardless of their weight. If you're inwardly steaming every time he has another mince pie you'll just wind yourself up into a frenzy. Put your wishes on hold until January.

Is his health actually at risk, or do you just wish he looked a bit more buff?

Talk to him in terms of your fears for his health. That you don't want anything to happen to him. How devestated you and the kids would be.

Your posts, tbh, come across like "he's fat, it's disgusting, he's a pig, he turns me off..." which if that's the message you're giving him too, well, trust me that is going to make it harder for him.

Feeling like your wife thinks you're fat and ugly and doesn't fancy you is very depressing and it's harder to tackle your weight when you're upset.

Why not suggest that a new year's resolution is for you to do more things together - one of those things being join a gym?

Tell him how great life would be if he was more active, the things you could do...

Just make sure you don't put him down. That damages his confidence and nothing will change that way.

sorry been out orginising toys for christmas

rockbird you sound pretty unpleasent yourself, first you dont like my tone, now you are accussing me of suggeting my DH discusts me, he doesnt, he is a lovely man, always cheerful, i just worry about his health

But it is his health, he is an adult and has to make his own decisions. Having said that the day that DH asked me if I thought he was too fat came as a relief, because he was. Do you control the shopping/cooking? If so make sure there is no junk food available in the house, no juices/soft drinks etc. If it isn't there he can't eat it.

DH will eat any food that happens to be around the place, so one of the ways I keep us all healthy is to ensure that the only options usually available are good ones. Christmas is of course an exception and there has been a lot of chockies and treats around the place, but that is OK.

Actually, having read your last post I now think this is a joke thread - ignore sensible advice and carry on!

fedup -I think you sound completely reasonable. Why on earth should you have to like some fat slob and say, oh yes darling, that's just fine, flobber about all over me - oh no, whoops, you've had a heart attack/ suffocated me?

I wouldn't put up with it if it was down to laziness and greed. It's repulsive.

I would like a serious thread on this subject please My DH is too fat as well and his dad has diabetes and heart trouble etc etc and it really scares me...

I can't tell whether this thread is a joke or not...

fedupinthenorth does your DH have a big bushy beard as well?

can't believe i didn't get it. I meant what I said, though.

Hmmm 4/10 i think and thats generous really! must be the jack daniels putting me in good spirits!! Geddit??!! oh i'll get my coat

Dh is fat. Not sure if he is obese or clinically obese or morbidly obese.
Doesn't bother me.
We are going to talk to our GP about it in the new year.
Thing is he eats not a disimilar amount to me, and I am a size 12.
Seriously, if you read those magazine articles about why someone is 25 stone and they say they eat 4 bacon sandwiches and a packet of biscuits pre 10am, then its no wonder is it.
My dh is not lazy.
A rough day is a cup of tea and two slices wholemeal toast. 2 slices breas as sandwich, youghurt , maybe 2 pieces of fruit and a packet of crisps. and then dinner, i will dish him up a big portion of pasta, spag bol, roast chicken, stir fry, chops and 3 steamed veg - whatever we are having.
some nights he might have a couple of biscuits with a cup of tea .
but nothing that warrants him being as big as he is - which is 18 stone, by the way.

I must be looking at his diet through rose tinted spectacles. mind you that would be odd if i was in denial, becasue I have been a diabetic for 35 years so grew up on a diet of high fibre low fat.

he rides to work on a bike - only a mile or so, but still.and takes ds swimming. he can run around quite easily and play with the boys.

maybe i need to record exactly what he eats to prove to Gp- maybe a few beers here and there and a few more choc biscuits might open my eyes.

He is also a type 2 diabetic. they want him to have a stomach band op !!all his brotheres and sisters are huge aswell.

I just don't get it. do you all think I am in denial then ?

what are the REASONS why all your dh's are overweight ?

No offence, but aren't you a little plump yourself? But jolly with it

Give him a break, his job involves a lot of travel and a huge amount of responsibility, even if it is very seasonal. Refusing all those mince pies could be construed as rude, and make a lot of children very sad.

Oblomov, I know it isn't very popular but for us the answer really was cutting right down on the carbs and not worrying about fat anymore. DH also started weightlifting (as opposed to more cardio) the change in his body was dramatic and he has found it easy to maintain over the years.

Eat healthily as a family and do lots of walking-take up sports.

Is everything OK in the bedroom department fedup?

Perhaps if not, he has self esteem issues and is just letting himself go even further because he thinks you just don't fancy him anymore?

With all this snowblowing around maybe it is time to liven things up , maybe dress up yourself a bit, add a bit of spice to kissing under the mistletoe.

Er, you are the one implying that he disgusts you. If all he means to you is whether he's fat or thin then really, leave the poor sod, find someone suitably skinny and give him a chance to be himself.

I quote...

"...his weight is really getting me down
and he only gets fatter at christmas
i am so fed up i am thinking of leaving him
christmas is just a night mare..."

And then you write...

"...you are accussing me of suggeting my DH discusts me, he doesnt, he is a lovely man, always cheerful, i just worry about his health"

Ha ha ha ha ha. Seriously, that last post is the polar opposite of what you are saying. You haven't once mentioned his health, just how fed up you are. Whinge whinge whinge whinge.

If he eats and drinks too much it's probably you driving him to it. Poor poor sod. I did think this was a wind up but I don't think so now, because it's a crap one if it is.

Mine sounds like yours oblomov, up to a point. But I know where it comes from.

He grew up with his mum baking a lot, they always had big bags of sweets for car journeys (why?), he has a real nice food=treat unhealthy relationship with food going on.

I feed him well (more or less) and i don't have a sweet tooth so he doesn't get puddings. But I am sure he snaffles sweeties and things while he is out at work without even realising he's doing it. He is always trying to persuade me to buy all sorts of crap in the supermarket like a little child "can we have these biscuits? NO" and so on and so on. When his mum comes round she will bring a cake for him etc. His dad is enormous, he has type 2 diabetes, and still he snaffles sweeties...

So my DH is too fat because he eats too much. And he doesn't do enough exercise. I am also too fat (not as bad as him) as I also eat too much (savoury my downfall though) and don't do enough exercise.

Get him to do a food diary - it may be that he is consuming more than either of you think. Get him to do 1/2 hour exercise a day.

I also wonder about what norloth says - DH is a rugby build - he is a big lad generally - the idea of him jumping up and down doing aerobics is preposterous TBH. Maybe weight lifting etc is the answer.

I should also add at this point that he has been doing teh Wii and is really pleased with himself but frankly the things he does are a piece of piss and don't even get him out of breath so frankly he is deluding himself and I am too nice to go on about it say anything

Sorry that post got a bit long!

The half hour exercise a day thing, getting properly out of breath, as a start i mean to see if it does anything.

(She types from her sofa)

Rockbird
I think you could be fed up, turned off AND worried about someone's health all at once.

It would be lovely if we could all see past the physical all the time and see/be in love with/fancy the person underneath, but we are all human, and love and desire are complicated.

It is worrying when someone you love trashes themselves. And OF COURSE we all still want to be able to see the eye candy that we saw when we first fell in love with our partners.

Of course you can and I would understand if that was the case and if that was what the OP said, but among her first words were that she was so fed up with his weight that she was thinking of leaving him. That's not worried, that's pissed off. I've not got any sense of worry and that's what got my hackles up

Fat, lazy most of the time, cheerful, and she has been out sorting the toys for the children....... waves to Mrs Clause

Good one.

However, if the shoe was on the other foot and a man came on moaning about his wifes weight most of MN would go mad. Come on ladies be fair, if the OP was being serious then it is fair to say she is also being a cock!

Oh and Hully your attitude sickens me.