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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be surprised that no other parent at pre-school sent the children cards/little gifts?

61 replies

deaconblue · 16/12/2009 19:21

I put a packet of treat size buttons in every child's folder with a label on it from ds. He hasn't received any cards or anything similar at all. So either he's the most unpopular child there - in which case I still think the parents would be mean to not include ds - or no one else did anything for Christmas. Also only 1 parent thanked me for the chocolates. Is this a bit odd or am I being overkeen bothering in the first place?

OP posts:

lockets · 16/12/2009 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Morosky · 16/12/2009 19:32

I am sure this gesture came from a nice place but it is a little over the top.

LizzyLordsALeaping · 16/12/2009 19:33

YABU
With DS1 I sat and wrote 25 cards for all his preschool class.
I won't be doing more than a few ( that he asked for ) with DS2.

It was a nice gesture, yes you should be thanked but is not the norm to give gifts to everyone in the class (in these parts anyway).

Original poster

deaconblue · 16/12/2009 19:33

did check no dairy intolerance with the teachers
Willie Walsh when did you ring? Am out tonight too (life is just a social whirl )

OP posts:

lockets · 16/12/2009 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bootsmixandmatch · 16/12/2009 19:34

I asked DS2 who he wanted to send a christmas card to and he chose 3 people. so that is what we did with one for the staff from me.

DuchestnutsOfAvon · 16/12/2009 19:34

YABU to be surprised that others haven't done this. Heavens above, it wouldn't even have entered my head. DD has made cards for pre-school friends of her own choosing but that's it. Its been hard enough work sorting out the family and close friends.

And I fall into the category described by Axiom above - the tidal wave of chocolate has been ludicrous. I am getting to the stage where I am resenting having to battle DD over unsolicited treats. The house rule is that everything has to go in a box to be eked out but I still have to endure the pestering.

Bah humbug.

(I like to think I'd have least attempted a civil thanks if I'd bumped into you in the playground, though.)

Original poster

deaconblue · 16/12/2009 19:35

shall go for zero effort next time and graciously receive the gifts inspired by my "over-competitiveness" this Christmas

OP posts:

lockets · 16/12/2009 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

morningpaper · 16/12/2009 19:39

I would assume it was a birthday thing

Morloth · 16/12/2009 19:40

Zero effort is the way forward, because we can all manage it - is more inclusive that way.

AboardtheAxiom · 16/12/2009 19:46

good thinking morloth

pagwatch · 16/12/2009 19:47

The gesture is nice but I have three children in three different schools - DS has four teachers, a driver and an escort plus a therapist. If I do presents for all the childrens friends, plus cards to write and presents for teachers. Ds2 and DD also need help with gifts to their siblings etc.
Plus each child has had a drama or nativity costume to get together, carol concerts (x3), christmas assemblies, gym displays etc etc
I would just be on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

People are loveley but most of us just don't have that kind of time.

Plus. Did you stick the cards to the presents?
DD has come home with chocolate from gym club and her teacher, DS had some from santa and from a cinema trip
Are you sure that parents knew it was from you?

Bonsoir · 16/12/2009 19:47

Totally OTT. Imagine if all the children in the class gave all others a small bag of sweets - the children would be drowning in the things.

Personally I think all sweets and chocolates should be banned from schools, in the interests of health.

mazzystartled · 16/12/2009 19:53

YABU - it's totally unnecessary.

It adds to all of the escalation of Christmas/birthdays etc which somehow ends up making everything less special even though the reverse is intended.

flowerybeanbag · 16/12/2009 20:02

YABU. DS goes to 3 playgroups with our nanny each week and has come home this week with a couple of cards. When I saw the first card I believe my words to our nanny were 'Good grief don't tell me I have to produce umpteen cards for all these children? Her response was something along the lines of 'good grief no not at all don't worry about it'.

That was the right answer!

hotCheeseBURNS · 16/12/2009 20:06

Ds had received about 7 christmas cards "from" children at nursery. I was astonished! Why do mums sit and write out cards to three years olds who can't even read them?! Personally, I've got better things to do with my time.

NancyDrewRocks · 16/12/2009 20:21

hotcheese I think what happens is younger sibblings see older sibblings writing cards who got the idea from someone at school who sent a few chocs out and before you knot it you have self perpetuating chaos!

I don't have the heart to say no to DS when his sis made her cards and has been carefully copying out what she wants to say in them. Tis a bloody pain in the bum but appears to make them happy...

WillieWalsh · 16/12/2009 20:29

they are banned from schools

theyoungvisiter · 16/12/2009 20:37

our pre-school discourages things like this - partly because it's a very deprived area and puts pressure on parents who can't really afford gestures like this, and partly because lots of people don't want their kids getting deluged with sweets without their consent.

WillieWalsh · 16/12/2009 20:38

i think the op got the message

LilySwalLoosHerTurkeyBaster · 16/12/2009 20:39

willie what's banned ?

We do usually give out sweeties , chocs when it's my dc's birthday for the whole class.

At pre school i only did cards for teachers but at nursery i did write them to dc's friends.

I think it was a lovely gesture and i would probably get my dc to thank your ds.
I don't think it's overkeen tbh just unlikely to be reciprocated by many others so depends on your reason for doing it!

pigletmania · 16/12/2009 20:49

Chocolates in kids folders didnt know know parents had access to kids files then! You are being a bit U, a thank you would be good but to expect parents to do the same is a bit too much. I have sent cards to the children in dds preschool who she knows and not everyone, anyway i dont know all their names as some come on different days to my dd.

verytellytubby · 16/12/2009 20:52

Bit OTT but nice gesture. I've been very lazy this year. DD (7) has given her class cards as she can write them out. DT's are in reception and in different classes and refuse to write their names so I couldn't be arsed to write 60 cards for them so I haven't bothered. I might steal your idea and send in some chocs for each child and look like a saint!

MrsMattie · 16/12/2009 20:53

Very sweet idea, but slightly OTT. A mum at DS's school put chocolate coins inside cards for all the kids in the class and I did inwardly sigh. It just raises the bar a bit too high, imo.

I did Christmas cards for everyone in my DS's clas this year as it seems to be the done thing. I ended up with a hand-ache from writing them all and felt well resentful! Can't we just go back to saying 'Merry Christmas!' to each other, FFS?

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