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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DH should be slowing down

48 replies

MaryClaus · 16/12/2009 17:47

And spending more time with me?

I hardly see him at the moment. He is so busy and won't say no to any orders even though he is getting on a bit now . It's like his work is his life and he doesn't care about anything else.

We live rurally, and are a bit cut off really. There are others around here, but they are a close knit community and I feel quite different to them all.

If I try to talk to him about it he just says vaguely that he will take some time off next year.

OP posts:
BouncingTurtle · 16/12/2009 17:50

Poor you! Does he have any little helpers to assist him?

Original poster
MaryClaus · 16/12/2009 18:06

He does have help, but he is in charge and no-one else can do his job apparantly.

He has been putting on weight with the stress of it all.

OP posts:
Merrylegs · 16/12/2009 18:13

Ah. He needs to learn how to delgate. He can't be in a million different places at once, you know....

ChazsBarmyArmy · 16/12/2009 18:15

I bet he doesn't even have time to shave and wears the same clothes every day.

MrsSantaChemist · 16/12/2009 18:21

Could his weight be linked to gifts from grateful clients?

ChazsBarmyArmy · 16/12/2009 18:24

I think its has something to do with the fact that he never walks anywhere. He always uses a vehicle.

Do you think he snacks a lot at work? Mince pies and the like?

Original poster
MaryClaus · 16/12/2009 18:30

Sorry, had to go out to feed the animals.

He does snack a lot. I think he drinks too[shame], although not very often.

I am upset as he has just told me he is going out with some of his staff on Christmas Eve and doesn't know when he'll be back.

OP posts:
missingtheaction · 16/12/2009 18:31

Do you think he may be depressed?

FabIsGettingReadyForChristmas · 16/12/2009 18:33

Does he want to slow down, spend more time with you, more time at home?

Original poster
MaryClaus · 16/12/2009 18:38

No, he really enjoys his work, but every year it's just more and more. I don't think he'll ever stop.

It's the same every year, the orders seem start earlier every year too.

OP posts:
googietheegg · 16/12/2009 18:40

Perhaps he is feeling the pressure of the season? It's certainly a busy time, especially if he's in the retail trade.

Original poster
MaryClaus · 16/12/2009 18:40

Missing,I don't think he's depressed, he's a pretty jolly sort of chap. Everyone's always so pleased to see him.

OP posts:
EdwardDantes · 16/12/2009 18:42

This guy is an effing tw**. Why are you with him he sounds like an idiot. I would dump the old codger and get another guy. Sorry to be blunt but that's my advice. Life is too short ffs.

Openbook · 16/12/2009 18:47

I think next year you should surprise him with a winter cruise. If its been paid for he can't say no. Tell him about a month before you go and that 'll be plenty of time for him to delegate any essential tasks. He's got to learn - no one is indispensible!

EdwardDantes · 16/12/2009 18:49

Mary, have you tried..you know...pleasuring him a little more often? You could tickle his yule log, that might get him a bit more interested.

Also, but him a really big present for Christmas and ask for nothing in return. That will really show him you love him.

problemsproblemsproblems · 16/12/2009 18:51

He does need to delegate. Perhaps someone could pretend to be him, load up the sleigh and do a few early flights?

I'm sure dark glasses will do the trick - the big white beard will cover everything else up.

Have you considered relate?

FabIsGettingReadyForChristmas · 16/12/2009 18:52

EdwardDantes -

EdwardDantes · 16/12/2009 18:53

Oh guys come on, this really isn't a wind up surely. No one would be dumb enough to do that. This woman is in peril and needs sound advice, not laughing at.

Mary, try to be a little more understanding and get down and dirty with him for goodness sake. I will make you feel better either way.

mumblechum · 16/12/2009 18:55

OK hands up everyone who seriously thinks this ISN'T a windup??

Original poster
MaryClaus · 16/12/2009 18:55

Edward, he does like red velvet and fur, do you think I should dress up and wait for him in the snow?

OP posts:
EdwardDantes · 16/12/2009 18:56

Well I don't think this is a windup. All Mary wants is a bit of support and most of you just laugh at her. At least I tried to give her some good advice.

Shame on you.

GrimmaTheNome · 16/12/2009 18:57

Mary, you say he doesn't drink often, but would I be right in suspecting that when he does he binges? Some men can go sober all year and then one night its like a massive pub crawl.

googietheegg · 16/12/2009 18:57

Just jingle his bell and all will be fine.

FabIsGettingReadyForChristmas · 16/12/2009 18:58

EdwardDantes You are the one not taking it seriously and giving her ridiculous advice.

EdwardDantes · 16/12/2009 18:58

Yes I do Mary, anything that gets him fired up. Sounds like he's into kinky stuff so show him some kinky action.

The way to a man's heart is only partially through his stomach, the rest of the way is a little lower.

Don't forget the big present. You need to spend about a month's wages as a guide.