To speak to inlaws re how to spell DD's name?

[FimbleHobbs]

DD has a name which we shorten 90% of the time. The shortened version ends in y but could also be spelt ending in ie.

OK sod it. Easier to explain with real name - shes Emily. We shorten to Milly. Using a y because that matches Emily. ILs always spell it Millie even though I always put Milly when texting MIL or sending cards or whatever.

They are very generous with gifts and often get her named things - spelt Millie - but then you rarely see Milly things in shops. However the birthday cake they had iced for her said Millie and they have written it on her Christmas card.

They are really lovely, involved grandparents which is the most important thing and I really value them. They can be a bit misguided sometimes e.g. they genuinely think Fruit Shoots are healthy fruit drinks and they don't look into the details of things too much, I am sure they already think I'm a bit anal/control freak as it is.

I really don't want to make a fuss over nothing and can't think of a casual way to mention it to them, but DD is now 3 and starting to get interested in the letters in her name. At preschool she is Milly and so thats how she'll learn to write her name.

What would you do?

just tell them nicely that she wants to spell it with a Y, only a white lie and they can hardly tell her how to spell it.

ps years of receiving thank you cards from 'juliet' does no good. the next card will still arrive for 'juliette'.

fgs!

Bumblelion lol

No-one is being rude about the daughters real name, just the mum insisting on a nickname being spelled in a particular way. My dad always insisted my name wasn't shortened saying that if we'd wanted me called Becky he'd have christened me that. some people do call me Becky, Beckie, Becks etc but to me the spelling of all these names is irrelevent as they aren't my name but just verbal nicknames. If they persistantly misspelled Rebecca then I'd correct them.

But in this case, the OP's family call her DD Milly at least 90% of the time. So it has become her main name in the sense of that is what she is called the most. Indeed, the grandparents probably started calling the girl Milly/ie because her parents did.

And frankly, this really isn't a big deal to correct. Don't think it should cause offence. The DD is soon to be learning to recognise her name. Her name at pre-school and at home is Milly. For consistency, the grandparents should follow suit. I would point this out to them nicely and factually, don't think this even needs to be handled with kids gloves.

Mysteryfairy - its fine, I am not upset

I find it incredibly irritating when people mis-spell names, as I've always made a huge effort to remember the spellings of others' names - even 14-letter Sri Lankan names when I used to teach English! A name is a person's identity, so why shouldn't people get it right? Some people make the excuse that there are so many different variations of the same name - so what? You just have to make a mental note to remember the spelling, that's all. IME, apart from dyslexics, most people who mis-spell are just being lazy - I even receive emails with my name mis-spelled (could they not just cut and paste from my email address?? ).

DH's family frequently completely make up the spelling of my name (we've been together for 10 yrs ) - often it doesn't even sound anything like my name is pronounced. The ones who do this are elderly and only do it once a year in Xmas cards, so I tend to ignore it.

However, unless they're infirm/ dyslexic, etc, I think family members should definitely not be left off the hook. It doesn't need to be made a big deal so I don't see why you should wait for your DH to mention it; just say it as an aside next time you see them - 'thanks so much for your Xmas card, by the way, Milly is spelled with a 'y', not an 'ie'...'

my DS is Oliver, contracted to Oli (he's half czech, so we're using czech version of his name - Oliček being his main NN).

My family have variously spelt it Olly, Ollie, Oly, and Olé (as if he's spanish or something!). I've given up correcting them, as at least they have written to us/him. His czech family have yet to acknowledge he exists, which is a bit crap.

anyway, in the little experience I have, there is nothing to be gained from telling folk how a nickname is spelt. I'm going to let him tell them if he wants to when he's old enough

also, Milly is a lovely name for a little girl - so's Emily

I wouldn't worry about it, I've been Jennifer, Jenny, Jennie, Jeniffer, Jenni it doesn't bother me, I still know its me lol

Bumblelion - would one extra letter really make such a difference? You could have personalised things then and if your name is that long, one more letter wouldn't matter. She will spend her whole life spelling it.

I made sure my children had names that were easy to spell as I was sick of spelling my name all the time.

I was about to post that it drives me mad that not one of my family can spell my (shortened) name properly - mum, dad, sisters, aunt, uncle, all spell it with a 'y' not an 'ie'.

Then the horrible truth suddenly occurred to me. If they all spell it like that and have done ever since I was little, they must actually be right.

I am spelling my own name wrong.

DD is Millie (sorry, Katty). Now wish she had "proper" name - Amelia? Camilla? - but she's 6 so I guess it's too late.|

IL's still send cards to Finlay when he's always been Finley! Given up. Even my mum gets it wrong sometimes.

My daughter was born this year. I sent birth announcements to everyone so that they would have a record of her name, birthday etc etc.

She is called Francesca. Not so hard, you think?

So far this year we have had Christmas cards for

Franchesca
Franchester (sounds like a minor northern railway terminus)
Franchescka
and mind blowingly
Fran-Chesca

We call her Chessie for short.

Imagine my surprise to also get a card for "Cheesey", which, to my mind, is a type of pizza, not a little girl's nickname.

But all of this pales into insignificance in the face of my (Greek) friend Evgenia who has got a card addressed to Evagina...

to the OP - I would teach dd to correct people who spell her name wrongly. She'll be after them far more effectively than you ever could.

But I sympathise. My parents can't be arsed to spell my childrens' names correctly either.

ROFL at GrendelsMum!

Shouldn't that be GrendalsMum ?

Entire problem could be solved if parents would just name their children what they want to call them. Why give your child a particular name if you can't be bothered to use it?

OP, I agree w/nighbynight...let your daughter correct her grandparents. They'll listen to her.