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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rant: Have I broken some mysterious "buffet" ettiquette?

40 replies

Abubu · 14/12/2009 11:29

I was in a Toby Carvery yesterday with DH and DTs who are 2 years old.
We sat down and while DH waited with the girls I got up to queue up for my dinner and a shared kiddies meal for DTs.

I got the meals, happily sat down and then DH went up.
When he came back he was quite annoyed and said that a woman in the queue in front of him had been complaining to her husband about me.

Apparently she said in quite an indignant voice "did you see that woman who went up and got meals for herself AND her children?! And shes got 2 children already and expecting another?!" (I am currently 5 months pg)

Am I missing something here? Is there ettiquette that I just haven't heard of that states that I should not be allowed to collect meals for both me and my children at the same time? I guess as there was a queue she felt put out that it had delayed her for a few minutes.
So it's ok for her and her husband to go up together and eat at the same time but we should have to queue 3 times because we couldn't leave the children and go up together?

Also what is the problem with me having 2 children and being pregnant with another one?

OP posts:
RealityIsHungover · 14/12/2009 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Morloth · 14/12/2009 11:32

There are crazy people all around, they can be hard to spot sometimes because they look just like everyone else and of course they don't know they are crazy.

Spectroscopy · 14/12/2009 11:33

Weird! No idea what that was about. Surely it is better to do that then take the children up with you who would delay matters even further.
She just sounds like a toxic cow who will moan about anything.
Sorry that she took some of the enjoyment away from your meal

slushy06 · 14/12/2009 11:33

Ignore her she is one of them sad people who like moaning and has nothing to moan about. congratulations on your pg btw

pooexplosionsonthedustyroad · 14/12/2009 11:33

Maybe she expected them to get their own?

She's a twat, forget about it.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 14/12/2009 11:36

Ignore the stupid woman who said this.

Congratulations on your pg too.

sweetnitanitro · 14/12/2009 11:38

How very dare you feed yourself AND your children, and at a buffet of all places!

YANBU, the woman is a mentalist. Can't think why she would complain about you.

SnotBaby · 14/12/2009 11:39

I went to a Toby yesterday for the first time in years with my 2 DC and my quiet, beautifully mannered kids were tutted at everywhere for things like taking 3 seconds longer than yoyr average person to choose their gravy, walking a little too slowly with their full plate, laughing at the table etc etc etc

All by ladies over 65 with short curly perms, cardigans with a bit of sparkle and massive gold jewellery

I think there comes a point in life when you can become quite bitter about youth. These people can be found in Toby and M&S

minouminou · 14/12/2009 11:39

She's a loon.
Try and laugh about it and enjoy the rest of your PG.

ImSoNotTelling · 14/12/2009 11:41

Maybe she thought that you hadn't paid for children meals and so were just helping yourself to additional food for free or something.

That's the best I can come up with.

Only other explanation is that she is stark staring mad lunatic person who also happens to be total cow.

That, i suspect, is the more likely explanation.

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/12/2009 11:41

Can only imagine what she'd have said if your DTs had queued too "Did you see that, making the children hold those big heavy plates, too lazy to get them for those little mites, AND another on the way to be neglected!" Or words to that effect ...

TisTheSeasonToBeHully · 14/12/2009 11:46

You shouldn't have been there in the first place. That'll learn you.

diddl · 14/12/2009 11:46

Perhaps you should have fetched food for one child each??
Sent the children themselves??

Ooh I know,you´re pregnant & eating out??

No,can´t get her point.

Contgrats, btw.

OOh got it-you looked after yourself & children first-not husband, and worst of all, he had to serve himself! tut tut!

VinegarTinselTits · 14/12/2009 11:47

YANBU she is not big and she is not clever

duchesse · 14/12/2009 11:49

She sounds like a weirdo. Did her husband make any response to this outburst? (because in my experience many have become very used to their DPs making bizarre comments and have learned to ignore them).

displayuntiltwelfthnight · 14/12/2009 11:51

YANBU I always go up and get the dcs their meals in places like that
bet she would have complained even louder if your dcs had been in front of her in the queue struggling with their plates and trying to serve themselves
silly mare

SleightiesChick · 14/12/2009 11:54

YANBU! Weird. Ignore.

I was also in a Toby carvery yesterday and waited in a massive queue. 3 women together, one of them said, pointing at the gammon, 'Ooh, I've never had ham like that before with dinner'. It was obviously too scary for her to contemplate as then all 3 just had beef. It did occur to me that if your culinary horizons are being significantly broadened by a visit to a Toby carvery (nice as they can be) then you have been living a pretty sheltered life. I say this to reinforce what quaint ideas can be held by the people going there.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 14/12/2009 11:56

for you. Breathe... breathe...

Some people do my head in!!! (DH would say she 'got on his last tit' whatever that means haha )

YANBU. She's so lucky it was you and not me.

I have a toddler and I'm pregnant and I find people can look down their noses at me. I don't get it. Why on earth shouldn't we have children? Is there a 'one each' rule?

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 14/12/2009 11:58

Just read Hully's response and I'm laughing my socks off

LouMacca · 14/12/2009 12:00

Jeez, some people aren't happy unless they are moaning or bitching about other people - she obviously had nothing nice to say to her husband so decided to have a bitch instead.

Some people........ Ignore.

Alarmbellsring · 14/12/2009 12:00

I used to go there with my mum sometimes, who suffered from arthrits and coldn't walk far without a frame. I used to have to get both our Roasts.

Now I sometimes go with dh and dd and I get mine and dd's. Then dh goes up to get his.

She is stupid.

mumoverseas · 14/12/2009 12:09

crazy bitch (her not you) What on earth was her problem? Did she seriously expect your DT to go up with you and carry their own plates? No doubt the old bag would be the first to tutt and complain when they dropped something.

My DH would have given the old bag what for if she'd said that about me

belgo · 14/12/2009 12:21

What did you do, take the last three yorkshire puddings or something?

BornToFolk · 14/12/2009 12:27

I think some women of a certain age have issues with having babies close together. An older lady I work with was scandalised that someone returned from maternity leave pregnant again. Lots of cat bum face. Not sure why, really

And really, how did she expect two 2 year olds to get their dinner unless you fetched it for them? Or maybe they were supposed to wait until you'd eaten? Silly old bat.

ChilloHippi · 14/12/2009 12:32

WHat a strange woman. Didn't your DH say anything?

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