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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Rant: Have I broken some mysterious "buffet" ettiquette?

40 replies

Abubu · 14/12/2009 11:29

I was in a Toby Carvery yesterday with DH and DTs who are 2 years old.
We sat down and while DH waited with the girls I got up to queue up for my dinner and a shared kiddies meal for DTs.

I got the meals, happily sat down and then DH went up.
When he came back he was quite annoyed and said that a woman in the queue in front of him had been complaining to her husband about me.

Apparently she said in quite an indignant voice "did you see that woman who went up and got meals for herself AND her children?! And shes got 2 children already and expecting another?!" (I am currently 5 months pg)

Am I missing something here? Is there ettiquette that I just haven't heard of that states that I should not be allowed to collect meals for both me and my children at the same time? I guess as there was a queue she felt put out that it had delayed her for a few minutes.
So it's ok for her and her husband to go up together and eat at the same time but we should have to queue 3 times because we couldn't leave the children and go up together?

Also what is the problem with me having 2 children and being pregnant with another one?

OP posts:

Original poster

Abubu · 14/12/2009 13:09

Hi,

No he didnt say anything. He hates a scene.

He asked me not to react to it (I once had an argument with a woman in BHS restaurant who called DH incompetent because he didnt change the girls nappies in the baby change in what she considered to be a reasonable amount of time)

Yesterday was the first time we'd been to a Toby. The comment about over 60s with perms and sparkly cardigans made me laugh! That's exactly what she looked like!

I really was amazed though - I had a nice time but the greed and impatience of some people there was unbelievable!

OP posts:

TheShowMustGoOn · 14/12/2009 13:12

She may have thought you were getting your own plus dinner for the children but only paying for your own -

I have a few curmedgeonly friends who would moan about such a thing.

theyoungvisiter · 14/12/2009 13:20

It is possible you had inadvertently strayed in on "Pensioners All You Can Eat Tuesday" or something?

I have never been to a Toby. In fact I didn't know what one was until I googled it. It looks a little scary - there are big pictures of joints the size of small children with carving knives sticking out of them. I think you should be grateful that you got out without one of your twins being basted with butter.

There is also a borderline blasphemous Christmas image, showing the Star of Bethlemen hovering over... a mahoosive turkey nestled in a manger-like dish of spuds .

Good job I am not religious.

theyoungvisiter · 14/12/2009 13:21

how weird - that was Bethlehem until I posted it. What is my spell-check thinking?!

MrsMattie · 14/12/2009 13:21

probably just a greedy beeyatch hoping to keep the roasties all to herself.

theyoungvisiter · 14/12/2009 13:23

here is the blasphemous turkey

hattyyellow · 14/12/2009 13:27

Ignore her! I have twins and got so sick of comments and whispers when pregnant with our third child. I had some dreadful woman in a similar Carvery last year (our first and only visit) look at my twins, look at my bump and say to me "Oh my God you must be dreading it being twins again"! I kid you not!

I turned around and lying through my teeth said "actually its triplets this time around and we couldn't be happier". Silly moo - her jaw nearly hit the ground!

Toby Carverys are fantastic for feeding lots of small children though so it's worth the comments!

secretgardin · 14/12/2009 13:46

i would just have sighed and told her that they are not allowed close to the buffet anymore.... due to the last incident which involved lots of dribble and snotty noses

ThumbleBells · 14/12/2009 14:01

Some people just have nothing better to do with their time than to find things in other people to bitch about - she sounds like one of those.
Ignore her - perhaps she thought your DTs shouldn't be allowed to eat in a Carvery - no doubt her DC were still on bread and water in their cellar at that age.

duchesse · 17/12/2009 05:15

hatty- that's what happened to our friends (the twins then trips I mean). In two years. They're quite busy (twins are 3.5, trips 18 months)

hattyyellow · 17/12/2009 09:06

duchesse, what amazing news for your friends!

I would have been scared at the idea of triplets after twins but I still wouldn't have expected rudeness and negativity from people - surely three healthy children is a blessing! People surely should keep their comments to themselves - as the old saying goes "if you can't think of anything nice to say then don't say anything at all!"

googietheegg · 17/12/2009 09:40

I bet she writes to the local paper about petty issues saying 'someone should do something!'

Ignore her and her bitter ways.

Miggsie · 17/12/2009 09:45

I remember going to a Toby carvery (not my choice, it was a works "do") and I'm veggie, and had the vegetables and asked for some horseradish sauce...everyone looked scandalised, no no no! Horseradish sauce is for beef.

As I didn't fancy fighting over the spoon with the daft bint who was insisting on this rule I just waited till she went off to harass someone else then took some horseradish sauce.

So I think the mental parameters of those who frequent these places is a little narrow...

duchesse · 17/12/2009 10:20

hatty, the friends say they have a bit of a phobia of newborns as a result.

MintyCandyCane · 17/12/2009 10:37

She sounds like an utter loon !

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