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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think ds Christmas list is asking for too much ?

72 replies

billynomatesmum · 13/12/2009 12:04

Background is this

Ds is almost 7. Last year top of his Father Christmas list was a nintendo ds which he got as his main present. Just lately his younger sibling who is 4 has been wanting to play on it too so they have had to take turns. (This currently nicely limits the time they each have and encourages sharing).

Top of Ds's Christmas list this year is an Xbox 360 then he wants a particular game for it but then he added "a red nintendo ds" to his list as the next item and is telling his younger sibling that "after Christmas you can have my old nintendo ds because I'm getting a new one".

Now I'm absolutely against two major electronic games console purchases at the same time like this but Dh seems to have no opinion one way or the other so I've brought it to the court of MN for opinions.

Funding the Christmas list is not a problem but it seems "greedy", for want of a better word, to me and I want to try and explain to ds why that letter will not be floating up the chimney in post combustion particles until it has been cut back by one games console.

Some of his classmates are getting TV's for their bedroom plus asking for mobile phones and there will no doubt be comparisons of who got what, in the playground in January.
Other stuff on his list is fairly small and doesn't cost much. He has also enquired politely after Father Christmas's health and added a PS "please don't forget the poor pepole (sic)"

What do you think, am I being unreasonable ?

OP posts:
ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 13/12/2009 12:44

OMG - you give them a present for each year of their age???? Christ, what are you going to do with they are 38???

I have to say, and this is no criticism - but i find that weird, i have always found that there are less presents under the tree as they get older. DD1 is 19 now and apart from a few bits and bobs there will be nowt under the tree because she wants a tattoo. DD2 is four and there will be lots under the tree this year as we haven't got to the age where there are requests for games consoles and such like - bracing ourselves for that. Once that comes, then there are fewer pressies because they obviously take up most of the budget. Anyway, as i said, not a criticism, merely an observation.

Do you have a budget for presents or do you just buy what you think? If there is a "budget" and not buying the DS leaves some money spare - i would explain to him that you wont be buying him that because it is a bit of a non present but he can choose something else, a second game for his x box maybe?? If you buy it you are almost saying, well actually you dont have to share really.

Your boys are very lucky

I think the way is definately ask him to put an alternative as opposed to a no!

MUTTletoe · 13/12/2009 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 13/12/2009 12:47

No, they are allowed to ask for 1 present per year of age on their letters to Santa.

Morloth · 13/12/2009 12:51

I would choose one. Both is a bit much for me.

Personally I would probably go the DS as that is going to work out well with your younger son as well.

We have an x-box which DS (5) plays on - he likes the lego games and Ice Age etc, but really it belongs to DH and I.

pixiestix · 13/12/2009 12:52

Seems like way too much IMO, even if you do have the money, but then I would scream at the thought of two Nintendos and an XBox in my house!

Vintagepommery · 13/12/2009 12:58

Agree - 2 things like that are too much

I am always amazed when I hear of 6/7 year old are asking for/getting TV's for their bedroom, mobile phones, Xboxes/ DSs etc. DD1 is that age and had never asked for anything like that or said that her classmates are going to get that sort of thing. (And we don't live in the back of beyond.)

Is is a boy thing?

AllThreeWays · 13/12/2009 12:59

I am trying to work out how this will pan out in the future if you buy these things now.
A new console every year?
What about when they are older, new cars at 16?
Will DS2 always get the 'older' used model?
Will you home eventually have 4 tv's, four laptops, four consoles? four mobiles, four ipod's, four cars etc etc etc?

Whether you can afford it or not, is it right? environmentally as well as teaching kiddies the value of money, and that whatever they want doesn't just magically appear.

It all seems a little extravagent to me. My DS1(5) is getting a transformer and a game of mousetrap

MUTTletoe · 13/12/2009 13:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oxocube · 13/12/2009 13:03

Well my 8 year old wrote his list today and it goes like this

mobile phone
Nerf guns
Call of Duty 6 for X Box
money
laptop
cats (wtf?)
cricket 2010 for PS2
Star Wars action figures

I did try not to laugh out loud as I read it Needless to say, he on't be getting much from that list, except perhaps for the cricket game!

themildmanneredjanitor · 13/12/2009 13:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 13/12/2009 13:03

I'm probably about to upset the applecart here, but here goes...........
I wouldn't buy either to be perfectly honest. 1 DS is more than enough for a 7yr old.....(Runs and hides and waits for the backlash from this post........)
We don't write lists to Santa in our house, Santa leaves a couple of small but fun pressies in DC's stockings, along with the obligatory satsumas and small choc sweets etc.
All big pressies are from mum and dad, Santa's got a lot of children to deal with and isn't made of money, and that's not what it's all about anyway.
My youngest DS is 8 and doesn't have any hand held computer games, I'm completely against them after watching older DS (now 17) turn into a mindless game obsessed zombie at the same age. When his batteries ran out we never replaced them, and we haven't had an Xbox or similar for them to get addicted too.
Might just be my DS1 that has an addictive personality, but I'm sure many other young boys have similar tendencies. (We've recently had a facebook clampdown, as that was becoming a distraction problem.)
I have recently relented and we have a Wii, for family use only, nobody gets to sit and play on their own. It's fab for family nights when it's too cold to play games outside.
All through my DC's Christmases we have always got them other things to keep them entertained, both DS1 and DD1 are avid readers (even though DD1 is dyslexic.)
I have watched my little half brother, bring himself up on a diet of video games, festering in his bedroom for hours on end. At 21 he has limited social interaction skills, he is at Uni, doing a computer games programming course, but has very few friends apart from his (self titled) gaming geek friends.
I know that my way of mind is somewhat radical nowdays, but I think I've managed to do the best by my kids and they are bright and socialy adept.

hannahsaunt · 13/12/2009 13:09

TBH I'm with fiveisanawfullybignumber. Our older two are 9 and 7; this year we have succumbed to our lack of imagination and they are getting a share in a Wii as a family gift on the grounds that it's sociable and interactive. Neither will be getting a DS or the like for as long as possible esp since they love books, dressing up/role play, snooker etc. It's not a big deal esp since at school no electronic devices are allowed so there is little in the way of playground comparison.

brandybutterfly · 13/12/2009 13:12

I'm on the Buy Neither team too - my DS1 is 7 and I've told IL's not to buy electronic stuff, IMO they're far too young.

Totally agree with fiveisanawfullybignumber

Morloth · 13/12/2009 13:15

We are a nerdy family, lots of gadgets and games and PCs and laptops here, so it wouldn't be the electronic part of the request that would put me off. We are planning on getting DS a DS-lite for his 6th birthday next year. I am fine with computer games (as long as I get a go!).

But they are both quite "big" presents. If you really wanted to buy both I would (as I said, go the DS for your older son) and then buy the xbox as a family toy.

We don't have any electronics in bedrooms at all, all games/puters etc happen in the lounge room and are family activities.

Our biggest problem with the xbox is that there are two controls and 3 people.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 13/12/2009 13:23

I can't believe that six year olds are asking for this stuff plus tv's for their rooms and mobile phones. What on earth will they have when they are ten, twelve, fourteen?

Who cares if there is comparison in the playground? You can't use that as a reason to buy them stuff they don't need and that isn't even good for them

Maybe we are unwordly and naive, but I am glad that Ds wouldn't even WANT a mobile phone or a tv in his room. He has asked for a teddy that glows in the dark! He has asked for a couple of other things as well, star wars toys, but nothing to compare with the sort of stuff on this thread. I think parents are completely mad to buy this stuff for 6 yr olds.

MedusaHead · 13/12/2009 13:23

My DD, (aged 5),plays my DS, although I suppose it could be classed as hers now as I never use it. It is a black one. On her Christmas list she put a pink DS. She won't be getting one though. I have bought some Tinkerbell skins from ebay and will put them on the DS after she's gone to bed on Christmas Eve and she'll have to make do with that.

StableButDeluded · 13/12/2009 13:45

Agree with the poster who said it's fine to ask for what he wants, but not necessarily to get it all.

It's great that you 'could' afford everything if you wanted to, but I think a new nintendo DS when he had one last year is not needed. I don't think he's being intentionally greedy, but I think it's good for them to learn early on that they can't always have everything they ask for.

Possibly get him the Xbox and yor younger son a nintendo DS of his own-can four year-olds play them? I'm a bit hazy on games stuff, as my only child is just four.

We've just bought a Wii for ourselves for xmas, we're gonna wrap it up and label it to the three of us from Father Christmas. We don't have any other electronic games stuff. Wasn't planned but was a great bargain.

I'm trying to instill into DS that Father Christmas can't bring everything he asks for because if he gave everyone everything they wanted, he'd never have time to get to everyone on Christmas Eve, and then some poor children wouldn't get anything at all

Not sure if this would work on a 7-year-old though.

StableButDeluded · 13/12/2009 13:54

I also tell DS aged 4 that Mummy and Daddy have to give Father Christmas money for the 'special' presents. Some presents (stocking, small things) are from Father Christmas, everything else is brought by Father Christmas, but paid for by Mum, Dad, relatives, etc.

I do this because it's what my parents did with us. I always knew that my 'main'present was from Mum and Dad and that they had to pay for it, but my stocking was Father Christmas.
I am slightly hoist by my own petard now though, as DS wants to know how we give the money to Santa for him to buy the presents . Had to think quickly & said we leave it out with the carrots, drink & biscuits on Xmas Eve

ILoveChocolateKnickers · 13/12/2009 14:27

I am so grateful that my 7 year old has asked for a Glo-E bear and a Hannah Montana guitar! She wouldnt get an Xbox if she asked/we could afford.

shockers · 13/12/2009 14:40

I'm with you five...
We have a Wii which was a family present last year and is kept in the sitting room. The children play on it together or we play as a family. I will never let them have consoles in their bedrooms.
OP, why don't you buy the X box as a joint present and enclose a letter from FC sayning that because they have shared the DS so well, they now have this to share too?

RustyBear · 13/12/2009 15:04

This is why in our house Santa only ever brought the stocking toys, the DC knew everything else was from us or friends/family - though my main reason for this was that it's very difficult to get a child to write a nice thank-you letter to Grandma when he thinks everything is from Santa! But it does help with the can't afford it/don't think you should have it when your DC know that it's you making the decisions.

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 13/12/2009 15:05

I had a TV id DD1's room, complete with playstation, dvd player etc etc - we never saw her and thats not a good thing!!!

Thats what i hate about x-box type games, they just induce solitary play all the time - i don't "get" the whole wii thing, also, whenever i have played on playstation I have been in a foul mood!!!

mrsruffallo · 13/12/2009 15:11

I don't really approve of Chrustmas lists at all. It's like ordering from FC.
Isn't it nicer to be surprised?

mamamuffin · 13/12/2009 15:18

I have not read all the thread but is your ds1 into a particular character like spiderman or ben 10. You can buy the ds transfers from ebay for a couple of pence. My ds 5 thought he got a new ds for his birthday but it was a transfer .
It wont teach him the true value of money but he is only five, will save arguments and make you feel better. Good luck xx

pranma · 13/12/2009 15:23

It seems a bit hard on ds2 to have to have the old DS so if there is a new one it should be for him but 4 seems awfully young-I wouldnt even have let him share his brother's yet.As for X-box well its up to you but to me it seems sad that children want to be plugged in to mindless electronic rubbish at such young ages.Dont they play any more,or read?