No homophobes allowed on this thread (lennin, over here!)

[ijustwanttoaskaquestion]

As you have suggested, ive started a new thread.

I am a straight person (or at least ive not met a woman yet who i fancy) and i do have a few questions.

I have often wondered, and i suspect this is a bit of a non question, how a homosexual relationship works? There are definate differences between a man and woman. Those differences are biological in origin and affect the way we behave. Those differences i guess contribute to how we rub along together in our relationships?? Women being more alike - does that mean that there is more potential for "power struggles" within same sex relationships.

Also, and i did mention this on another thread - but im not entirely happy with my body, my DP clearly likes it, but i don't have any hangs ups about him looking at me, i might if i were with another woman as i would be comparing all the time.

Sorry, these q probably seem a bit trivial and trite but its something i have often wondered and don't know any gay people well enough to ask

Hello, another lesbian ready to be quizzed here.

One of the research findings that I have found very interesting is that women's sexuality is, generally speaking, much more fluid than men's. Most gay men have not had meaningful sexual relationships with women; most lesbians have had a relationship with a man. And whereas most gay men come out in their teens or early 20s, women are as likely to come out in their 30s, 40s or beyond. (Certainly true of the women in my family.)

It's been said on this thread that lesbians are more possessive and also that they're less monogamous. I don't know... I certainly think it's true that many gay men have a very active sex life - I can't come up with a generalisation about lesbians that I feel confident in.

I think often people conflate 'who can you imagine having sex with' and 'who do you want to have relationships with'. Many gay men say they simply cannot imagine having sex with women; most straight men say they simply cannot imagine having sex with men. Many straight women can and do enjoy sex with women; and IME many lesbians can and do enjoy sex with men on occasion. Personally, I have enjoyed liaisons with men and certainly wouldn't rule it out as a future possibility, but I am pretty clear that I prepare my significant relationships to be with women. (Which is sad because men fancy me FAR more than women do!)

Hope all that made some sort of sense and wasn't too boring...

Thanks hester - thats a really interesting point you make there about the difference between men and women. Ive heard that many gay men find the idea of sex with a woman a turn off and straight men find it too. Funnily enough DP made a comment tonight where he said, we all have a bit of gay in us - oooooh i said, so you would have it up the back end then and he was quite adamant that he wouldnt, really very adamant (despite the fact that i have used my dildo on him!). Then you say about woman, well i agree - i am straight, but i would have sex with a woman (i think) and have certainly thought about it. Maybe men (gay or straight) are more insecure about their sexuality than women??

Another interesting point about lesbians not "coming out" or becoming lesbian until later in life - i wonder if that is because women are more subconciously driven by the urge to have children?

relating back to the "ooh, i cant have my children told about gays" thread - do you think that as well as educating straight children about homosexuality being acceptable, could it possibly help teenagers who are possibly gay to be more confident about their lifestyle choices?

i mean that straight men find the thought of sex with a man a turn off!

yes, i think i learnt very quickly on the other thread that it really is down to two people being attracted to each other, and it is no different to a hetereosexual relationship. I feel a bit embarrassed that i didnt really realise that so thankyou for allowing me to ask - i feel like i have learnt something

I have this conversation quite often with my best mate (who is gay). Both of us reckon that we fancy/fall in love with the way a person moves, speaks, etc and therefore that could be a man or a woman. I've honestly never fancied anyone from looks alone, neither has she.

Also, I know a lot of lesbian couples and can't think of one couple who have been faithful to each other in the time they have been together.

Not making a generalisation, just what I have experienced. Anyone else find this to be true or do I know a whole load of tartbags?!

Lenin, how is your little one tonight?

Crossing fingers for you.
My dd2 seems to be coming down with something flulike, and ds2 has thrown up gloriously in bed.

Hope your LO keeps improving, Lenin.

Another lesbian but off to bed soon.

I can look at men & think they're handsome & I have some male friends I love to pieces, but sexually they do nothing for me whatsoever, while women's bodies are much more of a turn on. My DP & I became friends first & moved on from there. Maybe we share stuff more equally than straight couples - childcare, housework, DIY etc, it's taken for granted that we both do everything.

I know some non-monogamous lesbians, Yuletidespamlog, but also some couples who've been together exclusively for years.