To want to be called "Mrs So-and-so" by a teenage shop assistant, not by my first name?

[YouDontKnowMeFromAdam]

I've had few back and forward phone calls with a young shop assitant about whether my delivery has arrived. I met her in person in the shop originally and she is not over 20. She has recently rang to say (finally!) it's ready for collection but I realised what it was about her that annoyed me - she called me by my first name, several times.

I'm 34, so not exactly ancient (I like to think ) , and I don't quite know why it grated. But it did.

AIBU?

what does it matter, as long as she addressed you by a name?? I have no problem with being addressed by my first name, and don't really care about being called Mrs. It's awfully formal!

What annoys me is when people pretend to have the same name as you to engratiate themselves with you. On the phone I want Mrs Fab.

I don't mind 'love' if it's from a Northerner. Makes me feel nostalgic and homely. And I sometimes forget I'm living daaaan saaaaf and call someone 'love' by mistake. Usually get a very strange look in response!

Otherwise hate over-familiarity. I'm not the shop assistant's friend and I'm not the doctor's inferior.

edam, i guess i am just not that used to it.
i am from within a 100mile radius from edam .

the town that is

why is sales asst age a factor here?she addressed you cordially enough.just not meeting your exacting standards.

your emphasis upon her age is very condescending.you sound very lady muck do you know who i am you young whipper-snapper

no marm
they call me marm
not mam

I hate being called Mrs - makes me think my mil is lurking behind me!

YANBU at all. If, that is, you are Hyacinth Bucket.

Its part of the training to address customers by first names to gain a friendlier tone...however it is also training to ask first. I worked in customer services for years so I know!
However I prefer phoning the bank who call me Mrs F not my name.

Honey, are you in Holland?

Littlewhite, that's exactly why I object to it! These assistants aren't my friends and they aren't trying to be friendly off their own back - they are made to use first names by some customer service guru out to squeeze every last drop of profit from them and me. It's fake and exploitative.

As it happens, I am quite friendly towards most of the shop assistants round here - small town, you get to recognise the people who serve you. But I don't use their first names (even though they are written on the badges) and they don't use mine. Because I know I'm not a personal friend of theirs, just a customer exchanging the time of day with a smile.

No shop assistant or similar should ever call a customer by their first name unless invited to do so. Simples.

fuck sake an inane salutation.not a summation of your life

Under your rock, perhaps....

no,i dont define myself by informal salutations.all this how very dare they speak to me like that speaks volumes of misplaced grandiosity

I don't mind..its my name

No misplaced grandiosity at all, simply politeness. However that could be a step too far for some.

I address many of my regular customers by their first names and they use mine..I call it being friendly

ah but politeness would be accepting individual differences and not harrumphing about what a sales asst said

YANBU. I totally agree. I can't stand people I don't know calling me by my first name, especially cold callers for some
random double glazing company... drives me crazy!

Oh dear ..best know my place..

I'm not overkeen on 'Mrs', or 'Miss' come to that, and find them a bit uncomfortably formal. It's just not how I think of myself. I think the overuse of your name by customer service people on the phone can grate as it feels false, like it's straight out of a training manual 'Make the customer feel like you care about them by using their first name a lot'.

I'm not sure why her age is relevant though.

I used to work in a photography shop, in the minilab. I called most customers by their first name, because when asked for a name to put on their slip, that was what they gave. Though there were a few moments when a customer gave only a first name, then demanded to be addressed by their surname.

Maybe she wasn't given your full account details, and so didn't know your surname to use it?

YANBU - I think it can be a subtle dominance and control signal to use a virtual stranger's first name without their permission, which is probably why it grates.

Another one that really winds me up is being called 'love' by eg my hairdresser, or other women at toddler group - not particularly because they're younger than me (though they usually are). It just really sounds patronising. On the other hand it IS nice when it comes from a northerner who is older than me