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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell them I will not be paying for this until after xmas ??

33 replies

MrsMorgan · 10/12/2009 22:36

In sept, dd1 joined a cheerleading squad. It is a big squad with a few different groups. They do lots of competitoins and have won lots of awards etc.

When she joined i knew she'd need a competition costume. They said it would be £60 and they'd say when we had to buy it.

I told dd she'd have to have it for her birthday at the beginning of Nov, and she was fine with that.

First week of Nov comes and goes with no mention of uniform and so I buy dd something else. Then all of a sudden i get an email saying the uniforms are now needed and they are £90 and have to be paid for by the end of Nov.

Tbh I ignored the email because I wasn't sue if i'd have the money or not. All of my dc's birthdays are Nov/dec and obviously xmas too. The coach has just emailed to remind me again and I have replied saying sorry but I won't be paying for the uniform before xmas, as although i knew it was needed, i expected more notice than 3 weeks.

AIBU or are they taking the piss ??

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 10/12/2009 22:40

well, you knew she would need it, so yes, you are being a bit unreasonable!

£90 is a ridiculous amount of money, but if that's what it costs then that's what it costs.
you could have asked them about it in time for her birthday surely? and you didn't have to ignore the first e-mail

tiredemma · 10/12/2009 22:42

£90!!!

Thats so expensive.

Original poster
MrsMorgan · 10/12/2009 22:42

Yes i did know, but i was told it would be £60 not £90, and I expected to be given more notice. If they knew she needed it by end of Nov, then they should have said so when she joined and i'd have paid a bit every month when i pay the fees.

OP posts:
JustAnotherManicMummy · 10/12/2009 22:43

You've had longer than 3 weeks. You've had since September.

Although they ABU to put the price up by 50%.

Who do you think is going to be footing the bill until you cough up? Probably someone else who can't afford it.

Give them the £60 as agreed and then see what you can do about the other £30.

mumtofour · 10/12/2009 22:47

It must be very difficult for the squad to be exact with costume costs as different costume designs and materials can make this a variable figure. You have decided your daughter can have this hobby and you were warned that costumes had to be bought so I don't think they are wrong in asking for the money. It is just part of the commitment you make for your child to follow their interest.

Original poster
MrsMorgan · 10/12/2009 22:47

I haven't had since sept, because they said she'd need a uniform but they'd let me know when, and they didn't let me know until Nov.

When i asked about it in sept, i was told not to worry, i'd be told in plenty of time.

OP posts:
MUTTletoe · 10/12/2009 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MrsMorgan · 10/12/2009 22:49

I haven't got the £60 now, because i assumed (wrongly) that as they'd not asked by Nov, they wouldn't ask before xmas.

I always pay dd's monthly fees on time when most others don't, but i cannot find £90 at such short notice.

OP posts:
JustAnotherManicMummy · 10/12/2009 22:50
Original poster
MrsMorgan · 10/12/2009 22:50

Ok iabu then, nevermind.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMorgan · 10/12/2009 22:51

Why post to say you are hiding the thread ?? Just bloody hide it, no need to post it at all then

OP posts:
midlandsmumof4 · 10/12/2009 22:56

Well,I would have put the money away knowing it would be needed eventually. As DD was fine with this being her birthday present, could it not be part of xmas prezzies instead? Santa brings all sorts of gifts ya know .

wannaBe · 10/12/2009 22:56

yabu.

you know what asume does don't you?

SixtyFootDoll · 10/12/2009 22:58

They di tell you when you would need it
three weeks notice isnt that bad
BUT £90 is a lot
o they sell on older girls cotumes?

HappyMummyOfOne · 10/12/2009 22:58

YABU, you knew when she joined that costumes were needed and planned it as a birthday present - its not the clubs fault you bought something else instead of saving the money until the costume was needed.

Personally, if you sign up to clubs where kit etc is needed you shouldn't complain when you have to buy it. Its unfair not to pay now and who will pay if you don't?

Original poster
MrsMorgan · 10/12/2009 22:59

Have already got her xmas presents. As i said, I have 3 dc's birthdays in Nov and Dec and then xmas, so I buy their gifts throughout the year.

I might also add that when I signed dd up to this, xp was contributing towards all dc's extra curricular stuff and then a few weeks later he stopped, so I have gone from paying half of cheerleading, flute and swimming, to all of it.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 10/12/2009 23:01

So will you also be paying for competitions as well in the next few weeks??

Kids and their expensive hobbies

It's a juggling act and yanbu to expect expensive things like this should not be requested in the run up to Xmas.

Original poster
MrsMorgan · 10/12/2009 23:03

Competition has to be paid by end of Jan, and thats £35.

I think I might have to tell dd she has to drop it alltogether, as I can't afford it if xp isn't going to pay his bit.

OP posts:
ravenAK · 10/12/2009 23:04

Well, it was a bit daft to ignore the email asking for money by end of Nov...that would've been the obvious time to get in touch, explain you were skint & offer to pay in installments.

I'd be making that offer now, personally, & not getting shirty with them. I'm sure the school will be able to absorb it till Jan - but YAB a bit U given you did know in September that they'd be wanting the money this term.

mumtofour · 10/12/2009 23:05

Am sure the club wouldn't want you to be worrying about the money and if you explain to them do you think they would let you pay it in a few instalments as such so you dont need to find it all before christmas? hope you manage to sort it.

GypsyMoth · 10/12/2009 23:06

It is alot. My DC had to dropout of karate as they seemed to be doing gradings every few weeks wether they knew the moves or not.......some of these activities are extortionate, but the hard sell to the kids ensures us parents pay up!!

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 10/12/2009 23:07

This is precisely why i stopped DD (4yo) going to ballet, its just a bloody money spinner - they do a yearly show - for which there are extra classes, have to be paid for - three, yes, three costumes, at the cost of £60, they are knocked up by the teachers mum and they are not great tbh. Then there is the cost to actually go and see them perform, £8 each!! I stopped going just before they started rehearsals and DD doesn;t miss it, thankfully! I was about it all - they wanted them to do three hour rehearsals ona sunday, plus the hour on saturday - they are four years old FFS!!!

Anyway, sorry, completely irrelevant really - um, you are and are not being unreasonable, i know how it is to be dropped in the shite with money and its no fun. I think alot of thse activities are money spinners, but the kids get somethign out of it - although, whatever happened to them socialising and making their own fun?

If i were you i would email them and say that you will have difficulty paying and can you possibly pay in installments?

Original poster
MrsMorgan · 10/12/2009 23:12

I haven't been shirty with them. All I did was reply saying that I wouldn't be able to pay before xmas and why.

I have already spoken to dd about leaving, as in the 2 and half months she has been there they have hardley learnt a thing and i thought dd was getting bored. She insists she still wants to do it though.

OP posts:
mumtofour · 10/12/2009 23:17

That does make your situation emotionally tricky. If your daughter still wants to go but it is proving expensive that makes it difficult for you. Have a chat with the squad and get them to be totally honest as to how much you will need to invest for say a year and if it is a crazy amount you need to talk to your daughter. Kids dont see the monetary value attached to their hobbies but they can be such a strain for us parents. We obviously want our kids to follow interests but financially we cannot always do that. All the best.

Original poster
MrsMorgan · 10/12/2009 23:18

Thanks

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