AIBU to be intolerant of food intolerances?

[MrsJeff]

Well, not really the intolerances themselves, just people who BANG ON ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME. A girl I work closely with has a number of intolerances - fine, nightmare, must be difficult, and I sympathise, but I truly don't need to hear about them every day. Nor a blow by blow list of what the canteen is serving and whether she can or can't have it. Or to cover for her when she's off sick having eaten a truck load of "bad things" the day before and made herself ill.

Please let me know - AIBU???!

Thumble thats what BIL has- he has ulcerative colitis but a test failed to pick it up so he was dx'd as IBS; years of misery on they finally found it but by then he was s4everely malnourished and had sustained so much damage that the steroids they have to give him may cause his colon to burst. he needs an op for a bag and resection but his Mum talked him out of it and he'snow on the waiting list but in a aplce where the damage is so severe it could rupture any time and kill him, the op could kill him,and the chance of them repairing the stoma is far less than it was.

Which is why I get edgy when people dismiss IBS; I don't aprticualrly want to see my 32 yr old sis and her two under- 6's lose my BIL

'Poor intolerant me' coming up at every meal must be v. tiresome from a work colleague, I'd have thought.

Have to say though that I have all respect for the difficulty of genuine allergies ever since I gave a party that a wee girl who I knew was a coeliac was coming to. When she arrived and her mum began to explain, I told her that I'd made sure that everything was gluten-free and the poor mum literally burst into tears and explained what a nightmare it usually was going out to parties etc. I felt so sorry for her and I always think of her whenever it's a bit of a pain cooking for grown ups who can't etc dairy/nuts/shellfish or whatever

YANBU to be intolerant of those with wishy-washy 'Oh I can't eat ..... as it makes me bloated' type excuses, but for those with genuine food intolerances and allergies, the world of food can be a pretty miserable place.

Until last year I onlyhad a Kiwi allergy. Dx from allergy specialist/epipen etc etc and easy to avoid. However, one day I licked my dd's houmous spoon and instantly struggled to breathe, lips swelled etc. I now have a list of allergies, properly dx by a specialist, which have changed my life. I used to love eating out and going to dinner parties, but tbh I now dread being invited out

I hate being like this and try my hardest not to go on about it, but even just going to someone's house for coffee means apologising for turning down their delicious cakes.

I truly don't understand how people can avoid food unnecessarily, I'd give my eye teeth to be able to eat anything and everything.

Thumble, yes. I have a hiatal hernia, which is a bit rubbish.

But thank you for caring

Ooops - seems to have touched a nerve!

Firstly I want to apologise to those who (or whose family etc) have intolerances - that really wasn't the point of what I was getting cross about but maybe should have phrased it more carefully! As I've mentioned I've got friends who have very serious problems - peanut allergies nessitating taking mediaction around with them (and those around her needing to know how to administer it), coeliacs etc etc so I am truly not unsympathetic in the slightest.

However if I DID suffer from one of these things then I'd be pretty peed off that there are others who use it as an excuse and then DO reduce the level of consideration that true suffers should be able to expect. That's probably what has been getting on my nerves: those people I know who have serious allergies (or illness or anything) DON'T tend to talk about them all the time - it's on a need to know basis...

Anyhoo, today has been better - no canteen report at least! Maybe the glazed look I'm no longer hiding is sending a message of sorts....

not read sll of thread, genuine allergies/intolerances must be horrible and restrictive for those that have them.

saying that the only people I've met in rl with "intolerances" are adult women who're about a size 6 and have massive body/food issues and use it to cover up the fact they actually have an eaating disorder.

E.g ex friend who was a vegan because of said intolerances but in actual fact had bulimia/EDNOS and had a lsit on the inside of her cupboard of the calories content of EVERYTHING. She'd made the list herself.

Also work colleague (in MH service!) who ate sliced pear on rice cakes every single lunchtime due to her intolerances, she clearly had issues tbh.

I get annoyed with people who can't eat things just because it makes them a bit bloated. My MIL talks at length about how she can't eat any wheat because it 'has an effect' on her. So she won't eat bread, pasta, etc. But strangely she can eat cakes and puddings!

However, having just been recently diagnosed with coeliac disease I have now noticed how much people talk about food in general. At every lunchtime this week there has been a conversation about how lovely the bread and butter pudding is, or what fantastic pizza they had last night, or whatever, and they all seemed to be things I couldn't eat, so I couldn't really join in the conversation without mentioning the fact that I can't eat them. I think I am turning into a bore about it, but hopefully its because I was only diagnosed a week ago and am still getting used to it. I'm hoping it won't rule my life!

meemar your DS is allergic not intolerant.

There are three things that so many people cannot understand that it bewilders me:

1. If you have got flu but "struggled into work" then actually you have not got flu. You've got a rotten cold.

1. Yes twins run in families but non-identical twins come about as a result of a woman ovulating twice. So if your husband has a twin sister it does not mean you are more likely to have twins.

1. An allergy causes an "allergic reaction," such as eczema, rhinitis, urticaria or anaphylaxis. An intolerance means that the body cannot cope with a food substance and cannot digest it. Allergies are not necessarily more serious than intolerances. Anaphlyaxis is the most serious reaction to a food, and it is an allergic reaction, yes, but a severe intolerance can be much more dangerous and distressing than a mild allergy. I can compare a close friend's violent, sudden and painful intolerance to cheese with my son's - allergic but mild - reaction to soya, and I know which is worse.

Sorry to rant - I sometimes think I'll have the difference between allergies and intolerances carved on to my gravestone. There was a thread here the other day where a GP didn't even know!

Sorry meemar that rant was not directed at you, it was a general point about the thread. I should have put both bits in different posts.

Um, probably not gonna be popular but here goes....

I have Coeliac disease and was misdiagnosed for 9 years by GP and was fobbed off with 'wheat intolerance' and I think I am not the only person in this situation. I hope anyone reading this will insist on further checks at their GP as I was so deficient in vitamins & minerals I believe it caused my MC.

OP - YABU to generalise but YANBU in the case you mention, as the girl you work with sounds like an idiot and IME the people who rant about it have other issues with food.

I don't (normally) speak about this and hate having to explain what happens if I eat the wrong foods as people either think I will die (obviously not) or I am making it up as it is a 'fashionable disease'.

Anyway, that's me

PoppetOne my dad wasn't diagnosed with Coeliacs till he was hospitalised. I never get the fashionalbe disease thing, if they could see the state my dad is in after eating anything with gluten in then they'd realise just how un-fashionable and un-glamourous it really is.

Kaloki - your poor Dad, I hope he's ok now and fully fit.

Because of my experience, I would love do a degree in Nutritional Therapy and help other people, as it's so annoying when you are not taken seriously.

But, there are people who take the piss. DH's BF's wife (still with me? ) hardly ate anything at a wedding we went to, citing all manner of intolerance issues and was found (apparently, intentionally) being sick in the toilets afterwards. I quizzed her about the intolerances as 'we are in the same boat' etc, and she was very vague - obviously been sussed.

She has since had a baby & sorted out her head and can eat anything - very surprising and a miraculous recovery. Seriously I am actually happy she is ok cos it's a bind sometimes - mostly due to other people!
FIL is one 'surely you can eat it now you are ok?' ie not pregnant

Yeah, he's fine. It was 10 years ago, and he's now totally used to gluten free food (that's not to say he likes it)

Terrified me at the time, he was basically starving to death in front of us. Horrible experience.

yanbu

For Kaloki (hijacks thread)

Good to hear it!

BTW, dunno if he knows but....

Tesco sell gluten-free bread called Genius - it's not cheap but certainly the best substitute I have found.

Also lovely cakes from here www.honeybuns.co.uk/

The closest supermarket to my parents' house is a Tescos, so I believe they mainly use the Tescos gluten free range. Mum used to cook him bread, but it smelt horrendous! Thanks for that site, will pass it along to my mum!

Slight wandering off topic but I've never understood how they dx intolerances. Allergies are easy-ish to dx but surely for intolerances you're relying on food diaries and people's own accounts?

Hi frakkin, I was diagnosed via a blood test, there are several companies advertising on the web but it can be a bit expensive.
Your GP should be able to do it as well but IME convincing them to do it was a whole different matter....

I second that Genius gluten free bread appears to be made by mythical beings who don't need to follow the usual rules of gluten free baking! Sarnies (without the need to toast the poor bread substitute) for the first time in years....better than sex ime

And thanks to Thumblebells, for reminding me that coeliac disease is also an auto-immune disease in the same way that asthma, eczema, crohns, and numerous other serious conditions are.

Loudlass, when I was arranging life insurance and employment protection insurance for my mortgate, the premium I was quoted was almost 50% higher than that of my DH, a smoker . I had to jump through hoops to get the policies reduced, including a medical, and finally they reduced it to about the same as my DH's but ALL gastro-intestinal diseases/cancers and lymphatic cancers were exclusions on the policy.

Coeliac UK has information on insurance, and I'm pretty sure that they have arranged life insurance etc for members. Your DS can become a member (or you can on his behalf) because of his DX.

"And thanks to Thumblebells, for reminding me that coeliac disease is also an auto-immune disease in the same way that asthma, eczema, crohns, and numerous other serious conditions are."

I'd never thought of Coeliacs as an auto-immune disease. I suppose it makes sense.

nae probs, Daisy.
Athough to be strictly accurate (not easy in the ever-changing world of immunology) neither Crohn's nor coeliac disease are exactly autoimmune diseases - the antibodies aren't directed against the body tissues themselves, more against something else and the tissues get damaged in the fall-out.

It occurred to me earlier that maybe people who think that people make up intolerances to "staples" such as milk or wheat are unaware that there are fewer people in the world who are able to digest raw milk than not. Apparently in China there are people who are unable to tolerate rice- this is extremely rare in Europe, but is akin to wheat intolerance, which is our staple.

In most people in the world not descended from settled agrarian communities for several thousand generations, the enzyme used to break down lactose stops being produced at weaning. There are ways to treat milk to alter the proteins to make them more easily digested- yoghurt (the bacteria alters the structure of the proteins), junket (the rennet used is lactase from calves' stomachs which starts the digestive process of the proteins). Most countries in the world that use milk from other species also have evolved ways to treat it to make it more easily digested. So it is not at all unlikely that a person might tolerate milk in some forms but not others.

Thumble bells -just choked on my coffee, my OH had to have strong antibiotics for something she called "helicopter pylon" to do with acid indigestion - so thats what it was!
Incidentally a quack (kinesiology i think) told me that my son was intolerant to sugar and white flour and that it would stop him having night terrors (I was beside myself at the time and would've tried anything). I try to keep him off them as much as poss. (Seems it won't kill him to have less sugar and eat wholemeal - being allergic to sugar tho' must be nightmare cos it's in everything!) He is 12 and every now and then he moans and we drift into letting him eat more - he has a couple of night terrors and we are back on to being more strict. It seems to work for him so i'm not really bothered about whether he has a true diagnosis TBH, mind you we dont have to make a big fuss though his loved ones do make a fuss - baking banana loaf without sugar etc.