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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be snivelling like a maladjusted 2yo because dh is not here?

36 replies

Greensleeves · 09/12/2009 12:04

AIBU, and pathetic, I know

he has gone to Madrid for work, we only had a few days notice and I am just not being adult about it at all

he will be back about midnight on Friday

I have got a coldy-type thing, sore throat and chest infection and general crap feeling

and I have got to do school run, rush for school pick-up after work, cart ds1 to ds2's Judo lesson and then walk all the way home and back again to pick him up because the pub I normally wait in doesn't allow children

trivial crap but I just want to bury my head, I have been really miserable lately anyway and even going to work is a mammoth effort

and we were going to go to the boys' Christingle together on Friday morning and now I will have to go on my own

and the boys will be really crotchety and difficult for me because they worship their Daddy

tell me I am being ridiculous

OP posts:
2rebecca · 09/12/2009 12:15

I wouldn't bother with the judo if it's that much hassle and you're feeling rubbish. Unless it's a special night missing it once won't harm. Think up a fun thing to do with them instead.
You'll be fine, just take things slower and don't try and cram 2 parents' worth of jobs onto 1 poorly feeling parent.

Original poster
Greensleeves · 09/12/2009 12:15

attention-seeking bump

OP posts:
wearthefoxhat · 09/12/2009 12:15

YANBU - I know exactly how you feel!
My dh has only been away for 1 night, and I've barely coped. I'm not well at the moment, so the dc's have been feral and looked after themselves
ds2 wet the bed in the night, and I didn't even know about it, as ds1 dealt with it (very proud of him, but very ashamed of myself at the same time)
dd and ds2 have gone to school looking like filthy little urchins who've dipped their clothes in mud(again)

Could you miss the judo lesson just this once?
At least he'll be back for the weekend and have the boys for a bit to give you a break.
Good luck for the next few days!

Original poster
Greensleeves · 09/12/2009 12:15

oops, missed your reply 2rebecca! sorry, reading now

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 09/12/2009 12:16

Pull yourself together, woman.

And eat chocolate.

thesockmonsterofdoom · 09/12/2009 12:16

you are not being ridiculouus, try and get as much me time as you can and dose yourself up with beechams, it will be over before you know it but in the mean time have lots of sympathy.

diddl · 09/12/2009 12:20

You are being ridiculous!

I´m pretty sh!t when husbands working away.
Children run rings around meand I don´t sleep well.
Generally stay up until about 2, & then up about 6!

And that´s when I´m not ill!

I guess there´s no one who could take your son to judo for you?

Look after yourself!

VinegarTinselTits · 09/12/2009 12:20

YANBU colds can make you feel crap, i have had one illness after the other lately and its made me feel run down and emotional

Will it hurt to miss one judo lesson, get yourslef wrapped up warm on the sofa and have a hot toddy instead?

MintyCandyCane · 09/12/2009 12:20

You are not ridiculous. Definitly would miss judo like the others say. I would stay in with hot chocolate. Is there a friend you could do christingle with. I did the one in the cathedral at the weekend it was a tearful experience without other family with me.

Stayingsunnygirl · 09/12/2009 12:23

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Dh is having to go away a lot, to London and Germany mainly, but now that the dses are older, it doesn't bother me so much - but I remember soooo well how much I hated it when they were littler - it is all such hard work, especially when you are feeling unwell.

Chocolate sounds like a good idea, as does skipping judo.

{{Hug}} (sorry - not allowed, I know....)

Shineynewthings · 09/12/2009 12:24

Get a hold of yourself woman! You're letting the womens lib brigade down! Reaches for tranquilizers to forcibly shove down throat...

Original poster
Greensleeves · 09/12/2009 12:24

I can't miss the judo, ds2 looks forward to it so much he would be heartbroken - I'm already in the doghouse with him for sewing his bloody Judo badges on wrong

I AM being ridiculous though. And I will pick up some chocolate on the way home from work.

OP posts:
MintyCandyCane · 09/12/2009 12:28

Shiny my dh goes for work a lot. I sleep in my clothes when he is not here with a phone under my pillow. I never used to be this wet. I will slap myself and slap greeny as well. HOowever, I will also make her a hot chocolate with marshemellows and a candy cane as a stirer though - my speciality.

HuwEdwards · 09/12/2009 12:28

Greeny, have been on my own for almost 3 weeks now.

Heating packed up (had to get it fixed)

Fire stopped working (fixed it myself)

have had 1 of the DCs off sick for 2 days

have a b/day party to organise for this weekend.

My advice is make it all as easy as poss for yourself.

frakkinaroundthechristmastree · 09/12/2009 12:28

Chocolate is good. Is there anywhere near you can wait in with DS1?

I hate short notice trips too.

playftseforme · 09/12/2009 12:32

My dh works aborad a lot at the moment, and despite the fact that I'm normally a fairly () capable woman, I turn into a gibbering incompetent the minute the taxi arrives to take him to the airport. Everything (even the simplest tasks) can start to feel like impossible chores, so YANBU

Chin up!! Two more sleeps to go, as I tell me dd, when she asks for the umpteenth time when daddy will be back...

Shineynewthings · 09/12/2009 12:47

yuccccccccckkkkkk, you guys all sound incedibly loved up, pining for your other halves like lovesick teenagers. Well some of us only ever have chocolate to console our lonely nights..... All of you deserve slaps...for taking the

playftseforme · 09/12/2009 12:53

Ha ha, shiney, I miss my dh because he does 50% of childcare stuff, the morning drop -offs and 50% of housework and cooking.

Nothing more

HuwEdwards · 09/12/2009 12:55

yes there is something to be said for having a lazy arse for a DP/H. Least you don't miss them as much.

norfolkBRONZEturkey · 09/12/2009 12:57

do all the stuff you like doing but he doesnt
eat what you want
and be slack about childcare

Shineynewthings · 09/12/2009 13:02

Well I reckon you need the tranquilisers as well playftseforme. Come here, I'll shove them down your throat too! honestly, it's enough to make a strong independent woman who absolutely-doesn't-need-a-man-hurl!!

PS where did you get him from? Are there anymore??

as I said, it's disgusting!

FeelingOld · 09/12/2009 13:53

Get a grip woman and take control! Firstly if you really cant magage it, tell your ds he will have to miss judo, who is in charge there, you or him?? Then let the kids entertain themselves while you rest and order a takeaway for tea.

And I am not saying this flippantly, I am single mum of 2 who works full time so I know how hard it can be but you only got to do it on your own til friday, us single mums do it week after week!!

LadyOfTheFlowers · 09/12/2009 13:57

I am not poorly at the mo, for a change, but am 22 weeks preg and feeling emotional, so when we were already late for school this morn and the shitting p&t decided to get another puncture and start going round in circles 5 mins into the 20 min walk, I called DH (at work) in floods of tears like a mad woman.

God knows what I thought he could do about it but he listened to me!

As you are so poorly I would say YANBU. You are allowed to feel like this sometimes - we can't be invinceable all the time.

StealthPolarBear · 09/12/2009 14:04

can you not stay in the ... erm judo place with a book for you and book/toys for ds2?
or get a taxi?

samsonthecat · 09/12/2009 14:04

Oh poor you, I know how you feel. My DH is away with work till Friday and has been gone since Sunday morning. I have a chest infection and DD2 now has an ear infection. I have had to take the day off work today to take her to the doctors after a night of screaming. Friday can't come soon enough for me