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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be depressed by ELC's dressing up selection for girls?

48 replies

somethinganything · 07/12/2009 20:56

Been flicking through the catalogue today - the boys are dressed as doctors, firemen, pirates, cowboys, spiderman, policemen, racing drivers. And the girls are all fairies and princesses plus a token nurse.

I just loathe all that disney princess nonsense - DD is just under two and none of that crap has registered but I know it's just a matter of time before she's clobbered by the pink marketing machine and pestering me for snow fairy tutus and pretend ironing boards.

To be fair, I probably am taking it all a bit seriously. But I'm sooo sick of being told by people "isn't it funny how little girls just love all pinks things and dressing up in sparkly dresses" - I'm sure there's an element of truth in it but for the most part, isn't it just because they're bombarded with it from such an early age.

So, what's the verdict, am IBU?

OP posts:
RockBird · 07/12/2009 21:00

Yes, YABtotallyU. The silly woman from that Pink Stinks brigade was on the radio this morning and got short shrift, thank goodness.

Buy your DD whatever outfit she wants. When you go into ELC the whole shop is there for her to choose from, not half of it. (General statement ahead) Blaming shops is such a cop out. If you want your daughters to think more of themselves than pink and sparkly, then it's your job to facilitate that, not the ELC.

MadameMoe · 07/12/2009 21:01

YANBU

But YWBU if you actually bought any of that tat because 'that's all there is for girls'. Surely there's no reason on earth why she can't have fun 'boys' things?

ineedalifelaundry · 07/12/2009 21:06

Yes why can't she dress as a doctor, fireman, pirate etc? Those outfits aren't exclusively for boys.

Original poster
somethinganything · 07/12/2009 21:06

I've not heard of Pink Stinks - sounds like I might quite like her though

Course I'll buy her whatever outfit she wants but I feel she's gradually being conditioned to want all the pink sparkly crap. And yes, the important stuff happens at home but it wouldn't hurt the ELC to have a few pictures of girls doing something other than waving wands and curtseying

OP posts:
Original poster
somethinganything · 07/12/2009 21:10

Sorry, yes, to clarify I'm not saying I feel that's all I can buy her - of course you can buy your daughters police outfits. I suppose what I'm taking issue with is the message it sends out when all the boys are the interesting stuff while girls are dressed in flammable-looking pink tat

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SarfEasticated · 07/12/2009 21:19

I hate it too, but my LO 2 yr 3 months has never shown an interest in pink or fairy stuff. She has been bought fairy outfits by relatives but she just isn't interested, she's more interested in play doh. Don't worry it's not obligatory, just don't watch Disney.
My DD does however love sweeping up, washing her hands and putting her babies to sleep, nothing I have encouraged, she just loves it. Hopefully means she will take great care of me when I am old and decrepit

Hulababy · 07/12/2009 21:27

Ignore the pictures and just buy what your DD likes and wants instead.

We have lots of dressing up at school int he class i work in, and the girls think nothing as dressing up as builders, doctors and firemen as well as fairies and princesses. Likewise, several of the boys will dress up in the fairy and bridal dresses too.

The photos are just there for some guidance and to make the catalogue look nice. It is up to parents and children what they actually buy though.

RockBird · 07/12/2009 21:27

Yes but just cos some doughnut in ELC head office thinks that, it doesn't mean parents have to take any notice. DD doesn't own anything pink, yet she can still be found laying anything vaguely person-like on a nappy sack and putting them to bed under a wipe. My 4yo niece can't abide pink and likes farm vehicles and animals. My 7yo niece loves pink and wants to be a vet. I don't think this pink nonsense means anything at all. You get to make the decisions, not the shops. Don't let it worry you

Original poster
somethinganything · 07/12/2009 21:27

Sarf yes, mine also loves putting her teddies to bed but is as yet completely uninterested in the dolls she's been given. Course if she wakes up one morning and is really into that stuff then I'll just accept it obviously - I just want it to have been a genuine 'choice'.

Have just googled pinkstinks - I see I'm not alone... though they do seem to be a bit hard on ELC. I just mentioned that specific catalogue because I was looking at it today but they're hardly alone

OP posts:
Original poster
somethinganything · 07/12/2009 21:32

Rockbird - yes, take your point, perhaps it's not as influential as I think provided it's countered with different messages from elsewhere

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NightShoe · 07/12/2009 22:16

Rockbird, you do indeed rock. A voice of reason!

As a nurse, may I just say that we are not as wussy and feminine as you may think. I am well versed in putting out fires, dealing with violence and aggression, including being bitten and hit, utilising restraint techniques and dealing with blood, gore and poo. I can guarantee that it is far from glamourous.

As DD would put it, I'm a beautiful sparkly pink princess and I'm going to kill the dragon with my sword. A useful reminder that being girly and being tough are not mutually exclusive.

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 07/12/2009 22:27

have to laugh at this thread - you sound exactly as i did re DD. She is four now and does adore dressing as princesses and all things snow white/cinderella but she proudly tells everyone how she really dislikes pink. She likes cars and being a doctor or animal doctor.

She has never ever asked for a pretend ironing board.

I thought it was a problem, it isnt.

Saying that - i do hate all the girly girly pink stuff, its naff - but i did start a thread bemoaning the lack of girly lego - can't win.

RockBird · 08/12/2009 11:32

I thank you

Original poster
somethinganything · 08/12/2009 11:43

Nightshoe - to clarify, what I meant by "a token nurse" was that it was the only profession in there i.e. great that they had a nurse but a shame that there weren't a few other examples of things that girls can do in the real world. My mum is also a nurse and I'm sure DD will grow up being fully aware that there's nothing wussy and feminine about it. And great also that you're DD is happy to take on the dragon whilst maintaining some sartorial flair! I'm not suggesting the ELC catalogue alone is responsible for a generation of girls interested in nothing but painting their nails but I just think it's a bit unhelpful

Ijustwanttoask - I'm delighted to hear it! And yes, I'm sure it's not a huge problem, I just find it grates a little at times

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redskyatnight · 08/12/2009 11:46

DD likes dressing up as a fairy and a princess. And also a fireman, builder, racing car driver, Buzz lightyear and Spiderman.

I could say exactly the same things about DS (though that may not last too much longer - he is 5).

It would be nice to see a bit more of a mix in the catalogues though.

Rafi · 08/12/2009 11:57

When DD was 2 she liked to wear her fairy dress over her Thomas the Tank Engine costume & top it off with her Bob the Builder hat

It would definitely be nice to see more of a mix. More pics of boys with pretend ironing boards too!

junglehusky · 08/12/2009 12:07

I do hate the toy stereotyping that goes on - but can't deny that my son loves cars, star wars and power rangers, which my DD has NO interest in them at all, but she loves unicorns and cuddly toys.

Imagine my horror, though, yesterday, when my DD, whilst helping me clear the dishwasher, announced that we had to do it as it was " ladies work"

I have absolutely no idea where she got THAT from, especially as her Dad does the majority of the housework!

Nature or nurture - discuss!

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 08/12/2009 12:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FimbleHobbs · 08/12/2009 12:11

YANBU. I find it depressing too. DD wanted a toy cash register and they come in pink and blue - why? She didn't want what she called the 'boys' one, she wanted the 'girls' (ie pink) one. I hate the way children are conditioned and find its one more thing to have to counterbalance. We shouldn't need to counterbalance it.

RockBird · 08/12/2009 12:18

But you are given a choice between two different colours. I assume that there isn't a stamp on the side of each one saying boys and girls? You are interpreting it as such. You are the parent, so you have the say. To say otherwise is lazy parenting. Get her whichever one she prefers out of the two. Simple.

Original poster
somethinganything · 08/12/2009 12:19

jungle spine-chilling stuff! My niece says a lot of that sort of stuff but her parents couldn't be further from fulfilling traditional gender stereotypes. Re nature and nurture, I say both but I do think nurture has the greater influence and by that I don't necessarily mean in the home of course.

brandybutterfly - how times change...

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Original poster
somethinganything · 08/12/2009 12:22

But Rockbird it's very clear from the photographs which gender each of the colours is intended for. You can of course buy your child whichever one they want but they are being subliminally nudged towards the one in 'their' colour.

As Fimble said, we're required to counterbalance, which I don't think should be necessary.

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GooseyLoosey · 08/12/2009 12:25

Can I just point out that loving pink and princesses are not synonomous. Dd (5) has just come out of her pink phase, but for 3 years pink had to feature in everything. However, she has never owned one disney princess (or any other princess) outfit. At fancy dress, she has dressed as a witch, Angelina Ballerina, a rabbit and Kung Fu Panda.

You can given in to pink and sparkles without everything else that goes with it.

Sassybeast · 08/12/2009 12:29

Somethinganything - you're not one of those yummy mummys from the Pinkstinks campaign are you

YABU. ELC isn't the only toyshop out there - Toys R Us have oh - hundreds of square footage of toy shelves - floor to ceiling - you should try it. Even as the mother of a 'girl' you are allowed to go and look at the 'whispers' - pirates and dragons.

'You' are the adult, You are the one who presses the 'off' button on the TV when the Lelli Kelli ads come on.

FimbleHobbs · 08/12/2009 12:30

RockBird, its not lazy parenting. DD had a gift token and I was letting her choose what to buy. Just a shame that at 3 and 4 my DCs see pink=girls and blue=boys. Thats how they interpret it, despite my best efforts.