Another wedding situation!

[MummyDoIt]

A family member is getting married. My invitation came addressed to just me but I was assured it meant the DSs as well so I accepted for all of us. A short while later, it was suggested I'd have more fun if I left the DSs with someone else and went alone. I probably would but they don't want me to leave them overnight so I stuck with the original plan to take them. Another family member has now told me that the bride has banned children from the wedding as she wants the ceremony to be completely quiet.

The ban does not include my DSs but I get the distinct impression that they will be there under sufference. To be honest, I'd have preferred it if the bride had just come out and said no children in which case I'd have politely declined the invitation. Now I will be on edge all through the ceremony in case the boys make a sound. AIBU to wish people would only invite children if they are really welcome?

Andiem - that would have elicited an immediate 'Am busy that day' response from me

those verses are vomit inducing

Who on earth wears old jeans and dirty clothes to a wedding?

What are their friends/family like (present company excepted) that they have to specify the ordinary wedding dress code?

It sounds like it will be bloody hard work!

that was my first thought who are they inviting!
god am dreading it

Those verses are horrible. Really clumsy.

If you're going to be a bride/groomzilla very particular about how your wedding guests dress, behave, whatever, at least use semi-decent poetry to soften the blow to your guests.

I'd've said no on the basis of those verses too.

Good grief those verses are atrocious!

Both the content, style and message are awful.

you need to think of a riposte in rhyme.

"To your wedding we were invited
But the invitation was quite naff
So our answer is "no thank you"
I'll stay in and have a bath"

No Sassybeast, you'd have had to have created a dreadful rhyme to say that

Just a quick note to say
I am busy on that day
I hope your guests are out to impress
And you get ketchup down your dress

Thanks for the invite and the ditty

You obviously think it very witty

But nuptial invites that come with rules

Aren't really all that very cool.

I'm sacred the kids will make a noise

Which strips Bridezilla off her poise.

So the kids and I will stay at away

And hope you have a 'perfect' day.

I agree with Allabout me. I don't think your children were invited and the bride is trying to tactfully (in her eyes) let you know that they're not really welcome.

Personally I wouldn't take them as I wouldn't want to them/me to feel awkward or unwelcome.

Actually just re-read OP and says you were assured your ds's were invited. Assured by whom?

Oh, I'm too crap to think of funny rhymes (was thinking how I could rhyme 'Bridezilla' with 'kill her'...) but that is soooo naff!

The DSs were definitely invited. The bride's mother assured me and told me they thought it was correct form to just put adult names on invitations, not children's.

haven't read the thread but just wanted to try to reassure... i'm getting married in the summer and, if all kids came, there'd be 40!! so, as i have 2 toddlers and my bridesmaids have similar and various family mbrs have kids too who i'd want to be there as i'm close to them, i have invited all of them while saying to less close/longstanding friends that it'd be better if they didn't bring their kids. i have spoken to them all individually to say that i really want them to be there so am happy if they bring kids if no babysitters etc... everyone seems ok with that so may be something similar going on here - definitely seems a good idea to talk to her...

at another good friend's wedding, she stipulated no kids but made an exception for me as i had a 1 week old DS at the time (and 2 yr old DD). I sat near the back ready to duck out if noise started and it was all fine - everybody seemed ok with having 1 token toddler who was removed at first sight of trouble...

hopefully, it'll be similar for you

Well if they were invited then take them - or just double check with the bride's mother.

have now read the thread (sorry for annoying posting without full facts!). still seems like calling her might clear things up, maybe?

wow - those rhymes are truly vomit-inducing, weddings do seem to send people schmaltzily doolally on occasion!!

I'd double check with the bride and not the bride's mother but to me it does seem that they aren't invited,and perhaps there've been a few crossed wires in regards to what the bride wants and what her mother thinks she wants.

The bride's mother was certainly wrong about that being correct form. If the children are invited it should be Mummydoit and family, or Mummydoit and Mummydo it Jnr,Mummydoit1 etc.

Please please post the rest of the verses.

We are providing some mid range bubbly
Please don't drink five and show off your jubblies
If beer and lager is more to your taste and palate
To the bar you must go and whip out your wallet

There will be prawn marie rose and chicken supreme
If you are veggie we hope you won't scream
The hotel can make up some cheese and ham sarnies
No you can't have hot waitressed food because you are clearly barmy

At midnight your carriages should collect one and all
Please don't chug three whiskies and collapse in the hall
The staff are not here to scoop up all the guests
They'll be busy with the ketchup guests squirted at my dress.

PMSL

(I declare an interest - I said "vintage Oscars night glamour" on my wedding invite)

(it's in two weeks, and most people have interpreted it in the spirit in which it was intended, glam up and go wild for Christmas)

(and we said "children are very welcome but we won't be arranging anything special for them e.g. meals")

god those verses are fucking awful

It sounds to me like the bride just wants the ceremony to be quiet and everyone is getting crossed wires.

The last two weddings I've been to have featured howling babies and my own wedding vows were interupted with amusing shouted questions from a toddler. Friends said to me afterwards that they would ban children from their weddings after being to mine. Though I actually thought that it all went very well, and I would have been upset if there had been screams through the ceremony.

I think the problem is that very few children regularly go to church these days and so families have no idea how to behave through a ceremony (civil or otherwise). I think that it is rude to make noise. You won't let your DC interupt proceedings so there is no problem. Just go and enjoy yourself! You've been invited by the bride's mother after all!

also those rhymes are crass

but so what, what is so awful about people wanting their wedding day, their way?

they are trying to get a message across without causing offence, as the bride in the OP is doing

how should they word it?

avril if people want that much control over their wedding they should go and do it alone on an island
yes we all want things a certain way and I wouldn't dream of letting my toddler interrupt things but it doesn't really engender a feeling of welcome when you get 6 verses telling you how to behave

love the alternatives

As someone who's entire wedding was disrupted by the in laws screaming brats running amuck I can see why people do not want children at a wedding, because for every parent who has nicely behaved do as they are told good children there will be at least two who will let their kids shriek and mess about