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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

thoughtless or am i ungreatfull!

48 replies

JjandtheBean · 05/12/2009 18:26

In recent months ive spent more time with mil than i have in the whole 4 yrs ive known her, its been nice feeling like she has some idea about her grandchildren ds j 2.5 and dd bean 1.
Bean turned one in november and mil sends a gushing card saying shes sad she cant be with her on her day (why??? no idea??? lazy maybe)

Anyway, shes recently commented that ds and dd show NO interest in tv at all, and how strange she finds it, ds does love in the night garden but only when hes tired, but anyway, dd has never looked at the tv, ever!

But mil is sooo obsessed with waybuloo shes spent a stupid amount on talking toys for dd and pjs.

She was very offended when dd didnt share her enthusiasm and threw the toy over her shoulder and has ignored it ever since, no matter how hard i try for the sake of trying to avoid a sulk because they cost alot!

IMO she KNEW dd didnt like them and when her mum, dds great grandma said 'you know she doesnt like tv' she replied 'well i like them' GG replied 'thats a bit selfish'
she replies 'so'
I mean seriously i dont get it??
Why spend so much on something you know a child dislikes, moan they ignore it and how much they cost???

Id have been quite happy with just a card for her!

OP posts:
vjg13 · 05/12/2009 18:30

I think you're ungrateful.

Original poster
JjandtheBean · 05/12/2009 18:32

i was prepared for that, i know im BU.

i just cant see why she did it?
and jesus christ if i have to try and make dd play with the ruddy thing to please her again i may implode,
on the other hand we now know what mil would like for christmas!

OP posts:
2shoes · 05/12/2009 18:34

yabu and so are your kids
she sends a nice card, you moan
she buys a nice present you moan
sh can't win

Brunettelady · 05/12/2009 18:35

Um, no YANBU. What was the point in spending money on something that your child doesn't have any interest in. As you said you would have been happy with a card. Why does she have an obsession with wanting your DCs to like tv anyway?

notyummy · 05/12/2009 18:36

TBH, I think you're both a bit at fault. MIL in for expecting children to like what she thinks they should - very silly. And you, for taking it too seriously; at least she is interested in them and attempting to show it (just in a misguided way). Let her silliness wash over you, and you see her make a big thing of the things you know your kids love, in the hope that she may pick up on it for the birthday....

Original poster
JjandtheBean · 05/12/2009 20:42

2shoes she is ONE and 2weeks, how the hell can she be ungrateful?
and i said i would have been happy with just a card, at no point did i slate the card, just the fact that she writes stuff in it that sounds like shes being forced away, she isnt, she is extremely welcome here, and a pretty good mil, but shes taken to txting poor dp saying is dgd still ignoring de li, i mean, common!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
JjandtheBean · 05/12/2009 20:44

notyummy, thank you!

thing is my two are really easy to please, theres never been a toy that they havent liked, they just have no interest in characters!

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 05/12/2009 20:49

Even if they haven't seen the programme they will probably play with the toys - and the boxes they came in

YABU - there is no point in getting stressed about this. She probably read in a paper somewhere that this was a massive craze for the under 5's and thought they might like it.

Wolliw · 05/12/2009 20:53

Your children are still too young to get involved in family politics. A one-year-old is far too small to understand the idea of pretending to like a present in order to keep the peace.

MIL should pay more attention to what her grandchildren do like. Perhaps you could make suggestions. We always ask what presents people want in our family.

Most people would be proud that their children take little intrest in tv.

I think your MIL is miffed that her grandchildren are too young to buy favour yet. Perhaps you can point J at her when J wants a games console.

Original poster
JjandtheBean · 05/12/2009 20:53

dd is actually pretty fond of the box, dp asked if he could say thank you for the box in the note, i was tempted but said no.

May i just say one other thing, this isnt some frail old grandma she is 43, worked with children and my two are among 6 other grandchildren, so i wont buy the niave gp, she wants my kids to watch tv and be quiet in her house, dp announced 2 minutes ago!

OP posts:
bigchris · 05/12/2009 20:58

my dd loves itng toys but never saw the show

Original poster
JjandtheBean · 05/12/2009 21:01

wolliw, i will remember that when the ps6 is released!

OP posts:
reservejudgement · 05/12/2009 21:06

YANBU. Tell her the latest research shows that children under 3 should never watch TV. And if a one year old is not interested in something, nothing will make them play with it.

Oh and vgj13, I always won every spelling contest in school ( nerd emoticon) but I have managed 5 years on MN without being sarky about other peoples' spelling mistakes. Bullying isn't nice.

2shoes · 05/12/2009 21:41

JjandtheBean sorry didn't see that she was that young, so she is not ungratefull

(why do people post in YABU then jump on you if you say they are )

OrmIrian · 05/12/2009 21:44

bean?
ungreatful?

What is waybuloo?

ShowOfHands · 05/12/2009 21:48

What's wrong with her saying she's sad she can't be there on the day? Maybe she is.

at ungreatfull

RumourOfAHurricane · 05/12/2009 21:52

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ShowOfHands · 05/12/2009 21:56

I think it's much better with that spelling. Not full of greatness. Tis lovely.

Stigaloid · 05/12/2009 21:58

YANBU - don't buy something for someone you know they don't like just because you like it and then moan that they don't appreciate it. Weird.

vjg13 · 05/12/2009 22:02

FFS, since when did spelling a word correctly become bullying.

RumourOfAHurricane · 05/12/2009 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

reservejudgement · 05/12/2009 22:15

Spelling a word correctly is not bullying. Highlighting the fact that someone else has spelt a word incorrectly is.

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 05/12/2009 22:16

I agree with show of hands, its much more appropriately spelt in the OP.

Greatfull = full of greatness, greatly pleased etc

gratefull = totally grating!!

I do correct spellings, because i have a really pedantic friend who corrects mine all the time and its become a bit of a habit - tis rude though to correct a stranger.

RumourOfAHurricane · 05/12/2009 22:19

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vjg13 · 05/12/2009 22:19

No, highlighting a correctly spelt word is called helping.