thoughtless or am i ungreatfull!

[JjandtheBean]

In recent months ive spent more time with mil than i have in the whole 4 yrs ive known her, its been nice feeling like she has some idea about her grandchildren ds j 2.5 and dd bean 1.
Bean turned one in november and mil sends a gushing card saying shes sad she cant be with her on her day (why??? no idea??? lazy maybe)

Anyway, shes recently commented that ds and dd show NO interest in tv at all, and how strange she finds it, ds does love in the night garden but only when hes tired, but anyway, dd has never looked at the tv, ever!

But mil is sooo obsessed with waybuloo shes spent a stupid amount on talking toys for dd and pjs.

She was very offended when dd didnt share her enthusiasm and threw the toy over her shoulder and has ignored it ever since, no matter how hard i try for the sake of trying to avoid a sulk because they cost alot!

IMO she KNEW dd didnt like them and when her mum, dds great grandma said 'you know she doesnt like tv' she replied 'well i like them' GG replied 'thats a bit selfish'
she replies 'so'
I mean seriously i dont get it??
Why spend so much on something you know a child dislikes, moan they ignore it and how much they cost???

Id have been quite happy with just a card for her!

ok baby brain hit me, i thought she was just making a point, hadnt even noticed the spelling mistake, but just for arguments sake i actually got A's in gcse and a level english but i have two small children to keep up with and i forgot that posting on mumsnet is equal to a written exam and i should proof read all my work before i press submit! Im used to far friendlier forums where no one cares about a simple typo! FFS!

Showofhands, she was invited, she just didnt want to come, too many kids, all her grandkids.

Anyway im straying from the point here, i LIKE my mil, i trust her and she is my family, so i dont want to sound like im mil bashing!

And also

stigaloid, that was my thinking, and poor dp has never looked so puzzled by anything, hes more peeved that ds got a £80 little tikes slide and dd got a stupid talking toy but thats a whole other thread about fairness!

So far as MIL goes, don't worry about it - she will continue to buy stuff you don't like for DD, but she means well. I cringe everytime my DD opens something in front of MIL as she is four and will quite happily say if she doesn't like soemthing - she hasn't quite developed the ability to look at me slyly and raise her eyebrows the way DD1 has, whilst enthusing about her totally inappropriate present! lol.

You can of course help MIL out by telling her what it is that your children DO like, and be specific. If she choses to ignore you then you have every right to feel a bit smug when your children react indifferently to her presents.

I have a PhD, i'm not dyslexic, my grammar and spelling are atrocious! if people correct my spelling great - whoopdedo, well done, you can spell

Your MIL was silly to buy something that your dd clearly wouldn't appreciate. TBH most 12 month olds are more interested in the box things come in so to spend a lot of money on something that isn't wanted or needed seems foolish but it's MIL's money and she can do whatever ridiculous things she likes with it.

And I still maintain that she can be sad about not being with her gc on her birthday, even if she was invited.

thanks ijustwantto!

mil knows very well the kids like, well anything, theyre really not fussy!!! thats what has made me and dp so simple books or a puzzle would have had her entertained for hours, but she looks at this toy, furrows her brows and flings it, every blooming time she gets near it, its weird, because she actually loves teddy etc, maybe its the too far apart eyes?

I think mumsnet can be precious sometimes. Highlighting someone's spelling mistake = bullying lighten up a bit.

OP - yanbu, bit strange that your mil likes waybuloo so much!

Grateful/greatful is one of the words I cant spell. I avoid using it but I am not sure about appreciate either

Know how to spell WHATEVER though.

chegirl, so do !
Wha'evva!

its not right unless its wha'evva minga macdonalds worker. get with the kids!

training in form recognition, reversals and vocalisatiion = helping
Highlighting correctly spelt word = arse-faced primary-teaching nun.

Her money let her waste it!! It is kinda wierd her really really wanting her to like it cause she does Hide the toy for a while and when you bring it out again your dd may love it... My Ds1 hated one particular teddy when he was really little always flung it, then when he was about 18 months i brought it out from the press and it became his fav cuddly try to jus let it roll off ya, ye seem to get on well enough so just be glad of that and nod and smile and distract mil wit a cuppa if she's goin on about it...

dp just had his evening chat with her on the phone, she asked if dd would like the even more expensive 'peeka'?? one for christmas just googled it, it looks horrifying, dp said no of course, but we are literally laughing our heads off!

seriously,a few years down the line will you even remember this? its so not important in the scheme of things...

i know, i know, i wouldnt usually bother with a thread but im bored and honestly baffled by the whole thing!

Thread totally justifiable! MN is there for ranting about dh's, MIL', mothers and other animals.

other animals hehe

For crying out loud-your daughter is 1 year old- you are both reading FAR too much into things and taking this way too seriously.

You both need to chill out a bit in my honest opinion.

i know, like i said, its boredom, dp was made redundant so we have waaay to much time together to read into things to much!

I expect some smartarse has already pointed this out but ijustwanttoaskaquestion you have spelt grateful wrong.....

Sounds like MIL is being a bit strange about her gift but maybe she thought she'd got something really good and can't believe that DD doesn't like it. You don't need to get her to pretend to play with it, that's daft. t 12mo my DS ignored half of his toys, now at 15mo he's into everything, so I bet she'll start playing with it later on. Bit weird how 'into' waybuloo your MIL is!

i wish we had mil in the family secret santa, i sooo know what id get her hehe!

YOur MIL can buy what she wants for your DC of course - but she is being ridiculous to be offended because they don't like it, just because she does!

My sis used to do this - she has a thing for balloons, especially "occasion" balloons. My Dad doesn't, and nor do I. Yet she always wanted to buy us balloons, especially for big birthdays - I had to forcibly restrain her from buying a 70th b'day one for Dad as he was already peed off enough about being 70 and he hates balloons! In the end I managed to get through to her that it's not a thoughtful gift if you only get someone something you like, regardless of what they might feel about it.. your MIL needs to learn that too.