That old chestnut again (earrings) but this took the biscuit.

[ijustwanttoaskaquestion]

I couldnt help myself it just came out of my mouth "oh my God, why would you do that??"

Went out for dinner with DP and DD, family resturant, hungry horse - lots of families. Anyway, There were we, DD (4) looking like an urchin child - unbrushed hair, scruffy clothes from being a cat in the school nativity play. Sat down was a perefectly presented family, little boy sat with the requisite spiked hair, spotless clothes. Beautiful little baby, i mean beautiful, still with a bobbly head, must have been no more than two weeks old, if that. So, being the broody mare that i am, im cooing like mad - only to see the biggest pair of gold studs in the poor little mites ears . I was visibly horrified, gasped, walked off muttering, why would you do that?? Spent the rest of my meal getting daggers from the mother.

They were very English, there was no cultural reason for the mutilation of their child. What is wrong with them?? FFS - i cried when my DD had her injections, most mums hate it but of course we do it, its for their own good - but what justification for firing an object, bigger than any needle through the thick skin of your babies ear? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY????

More importantly i feel, who the hell did it?? FFS? Can you really turn up at Claires accessories on your way home from the labour ward with your baby requesting them to be peirced??

I was 10 before i was allowed earrings - i passed out from the shock of the pain.
As for the argument that the baby wont really feel it or remember it - oh, stick it up your arse!!! ~I was actually a member of an anti tail docking organisation and read a paper by a respected vet that suggested that neonates actually feel pain more acutely than older dogs - i see no reason why this doesnt translate to humans.

Why is the peircing of children still leagal?? Its illeagal to have facial peircings done under the age of 16 (isnt it?) so why can we continue to do this to young babies - shame on them

fgs, what an overreaction
as for who does it, some hospitals just do it there after they are born before they leave (maybe not in uk, but quite common elsewhere) its really not that weird.
you were very rude
if you had to say anything to her then something like 'what a lovely new baby!' would surely have sufficed, otherwise leave her alone if you do not even know her and she did not ask your input

How does that make it better, that some hospitals do it? Does it hurt less? No, I didn't think so. I had my ears pierced three times at age 7, 15 and 19 and it hurt like hell every single time. I also can't sleep with studs in because the poles dig into my neck. Does having it done in hospital stop that happening?

I don't care if it's Great Ormand Street or Claire's Accessories, it's still a horrible thing to do to a newborn.

Off now to get my toddler's nose pierced. That's ok isn't it? Holes anywhere are fair game I'd say...

NBU about the earrings - I don't like it either.

But muttering in earshot of the mother

How very dare you! I'd have been giving you daggers as well

YANBU, about any of it..

Perhaps your (understandable) total shock and ensuing lack of control might make the woman think... You can but hope...

SHE was wrong, it's disgusting, & totally unnecessary.

In future, I suggest you go to less chavtastic more discerning establishments!

I don't like earrings in little ones but she's not your kid, find something else to worry about.

whoever made the point about the food certainly made a very good one - it was crap!

Downwardly mobile bragging - he he he!!

I honestly didn't react like that on purpose, it was just one of those comments that was out there before my brain egaged - thing is, i blame mumsnet - i probably wouldnt even have batted an eyelid if i had never been on here.

Oh and DD had fruitshoot too!! lol

I would have said just the same.......and would have been mortified too

yep, 'gasping and walking off muttering' when the woman had only just given birth is awfully rude.
She's obviously not feeling too delicate as she's had time to go out and mutilate, (yes I agree with that term in this setting) her baby's ears!

I did an ear piercing course when doing my beauty therapists training, 20 odd years ago. We were told it is not advisable to pierce the ears of any child under 7 years old as their ears are still developing and can be damaged.
Apart from development issues which I can't expect everyone to know about, but the person piercing should, why would you subject your newborn (or any baby) to that pain for mere fashion????? It's cruelty for no reason!
Personal tastes aside (yes I do think it looks tacky), it must be sooo uncomfortable for the poor we mite.
Wrong, wrong, wrong IMHO!
OP YANBU.

OP, if there was a "cultural reason" for the ear piercing, would you still have got in such a huff?!

In some places (dunno if in the UK) you can get newborns' ears pierced in the hospital before you take your baby home.

OP, get over yourself.

Oh that was me. I was about to start a thread about the scruffy and uncouth family at the chav horse hungry horse when I saw this.

YANBU.

I don't really care about the chav factor. I just think you should not inflict pain on a child unnecessarily or alter their body unnecessarily until they are old enough to make that decision for themselves.

Half the babies around here have it done (live near Mexican border) and I hate it. I wouldn't say anything, because I chose to move to this culture, but I actually think it's quite cool you spoke up. Who cares if it's rude? She made the decision to stick earrings in her baby. I think it's good there are people who voice that they think it's not ok.

(Also feel that earrings are fairly dangerous on a baby. They can pull on them, pull them out and eat them. Have seen babies in hoop earrings which is just madness imo. Aren't earrings one of the most common choking hazards?)

are you BU? When you "gasped, walked off muttering, why would you do that?? " yes, you were.

Would I pierce my baby's ears? No, I agree with you there. But I have a problem with passive-aggressive snootiness. Either say something to the mum, or don't.

totally over the top and rude reaction op, its not your business anyway my dd had her ears peirced aged 8 mnths and she didn't even cry so it couldn't have hurt that much could it? we are not chavs btw

mutilation? please get a grip people ffs

in fact go visit a tribe somewhere in africa, they'll tell you what actual mutilation is and they'll laugh at your peirced ears, tbh i think its totally undermining what real mutilation is by even comparing the two girls go through incredible amounts of pain and suffering and thats being compared to peirced ears? i'm actually shocked that people are so ott about this

should have been a , after the word two

OP gasped involuntarily. That's clear. I'm pretty sure I could easily have done the same thing.

Back in the summer my neighbour was showing off her 4 kids, all under 4, all 'embellished' with studs in their ears.. including the boy... Ew.

I managed to say nothing. Dunno how, but I did.

Same was not true when i was in Egypt and saw a young mum, sitting outside a cafe, with her baby of no more than a month or so old on her lap, smoking her shisha pipe and blowing the smoke all over the baby. The baby was playing with the smoke pipe...

I literally had to be lead away sharpish by DH, as I was staring open mouthed. There wasn't anything else I could do at the time. I was in that much shock.

well i wouldn't do a boys ears.... def looks funny

pmsl at you wanting to educate the egyptian woman on smoking

I don't agree with piercing babies ears, too young and the scar never goes away so if they decide later in life that they don't want it, they are stuck with it. Is that mutilation? I would say yes as it is physical harm undertaken without consent.

Mutilation comes in lots of forms, cutting off limbs, female circumcision, cigarette burns, getting your child pierced without their constent. Some are more serious than others, but are some OK because they are not so serious? Is it OK to physically scar your child without their consent because you are not cutting anything off? Is it OK to pierce your child's ears etc because it is socially acceptable in some cultures? Using that argument we should not complain of female circumcision or lopping off limbs. So I think it isn't OK. We should abhor ALL of it, not pick and choose.

I agree with the OP. This type of thing on a baby is chavvy and it is prevalent amongest those who are very common.

Wonderful post LittleAngelicRose, couldn't have put it better myself.
Just because it's more socialy acceptable over here than other cultural mutilations doesn't make it any better.
And to those of you who defend it, shame on you for the acceptance and compilicity of such a barbaric act on a helpless child, and before you say it's not barbaric, forcing a piece of metal through a baby's ear IS barbaric.
As parents our job is to protect and nuture our children, not subject them to pain for our own whimsilcal amusment.
When they are old enough to make their own decisions fair enough.

I think I must be the only person on the planet who didn't find it in the slightest bit painful when I had my ears pierced at 13.

I don't like earrings on babies/children, but I can't get worked up about it.

I simply can't call it mutilation, yes they may have a small mark if they later decide as adults not to have it, is it going to greatly impact on their future life, does it stop the use of one of their body parts, does it render their ears unusable? No - cutting off limbs, female circumcision - yes. Piercing of ears no.

As littleangelicrose said, it is physical harm to a minor undertaken without consent, which is utterly different to a medical procedure, which is done to benefit the patient.